Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Sending DeRosa to the Indians for a bunch of prospects?
A: Cost-cutting move. This is the Cubs - they don't do cost-cutting, especially when DeRosa was one of the better clutch bats (and gloves) for the team last year.
B: Getting a "premier player" with the freed payroll/prospects acquired. So who's it gonna be? (cough BRADLEY cough)
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
With the Bears finishing their season in style, it's time to dedicate our time to something else. Thankfully, the Blackhawks have dedicated themselves to winning this year, and are currently in the midst of a 9-game winning streak. The last time any team in Chicago had a 9-game win-streak? The Cubs, back in July. The last time the Hawks have done it? Never. Franchise record, baby.
Go Hawks! Tide us over until baseball!
Monday, December 29, 2008
Phew! It's awfully hot under these interview lights. Let me tell you, there is no excuse for the way we performed today. I was watching the same game you guys were, and there's no mistaking it: we deviated from the gameplan.
Did you guys see Kyle out there today? He had two passing touchdowns - two! - and no interceptions. We're not running some Peyton Manning-style bullshit out there, Kyle! I expect to see at least two picks. And that rushing TD? What the fuck was that?! That play was supposed to have you get mauled in the pocket while your receivers all run in circles! I don't care if the season is over - we're going to practice the ZJ-Right-66 until next season if we have to in order to get it right!
Oh, and don't get me started on Devin. I had such high hopes for this kid on offense. Did you see the way that he took our offensive scheme to heart and completely stopped functioning on kick returns? Hell, we had to give the job to Ladyname Manning. That's true commitment right there! So why am I seeing six catches for 85 yards? You know what that looks like to me, Devin? That looks like showmanship. You think you're better than the playbook? There's a reason that you don't run any routes that take advantage of your speed! Remember we tried that, and for a few times, it worked when Kyle would horribly underthrow you. But making catches in stride? Just who the hell do you think you are!? Respect the coach!
Phew...I'm sorry, it's just that gameday gets me all riled up. You know how it is. Uh, I guess what I really want to say here is that while this season wasn't perfect, we did still manage to lose enough games to miss the playoffs. You can't lose every game - the Lions just happen to be the best at what they do. I'm going to be studying a lot of their tape in the offseason as they are the team to be beaten by next year, if you know what I mean.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Despite all of Ron Turner's best efforts to cost us this game, the Bears delivered an early Christmas gift last night, beating the Packers in OT. This was really one of those games where the Bears got a lucky win, because we didn't start playing until the second half. Our passing game was shitty, our running game non-existent, and our defense couldn't decide if they wanted to play or not.
Speaking of the defense, though, how about Lance Briggs and Corey Graham? I swear, every single play on defense involved one of these two guys. Briggs kept Ryan Grant from leaving the line of scrimmage, and Graham kept Rodgers from annihilating us with the pass. Without these two guys, this game is over before it even begins. Also, the usual props to Robbie "Good As" Gould with his clutch performance. Does anyone miss Paul Edinger?
But the real unsung heroes? These guys:
Monday, December 22, 2008
And with that, the Blackhawks are officially a team worth caring about. Seven straight wins later, and the Hawks are looking like one of the best teams in the NHL. We've got Kane and Toews leading the charge, and the terrifying duo of the Khabibulin Wall and the Huet Hotel (OK - that's not nearly as intimidating).
Even so, I think it's safe enough to start giving the Hawks the attention they deserve. We haven't rattled off 7 in a row since 1981! We're on the road to taking the lead in the Central Divison in who knows how long. If this isn't the time to "Committ to the Indian", I don't know what is.
In an unusual piece of news that slipped past the rest of the universe, it seems that the White Sox have made the news yet again: we're providing an environment to lend a "helping hand" in the community. Most notably, we're helping Daniel McCormack, and two young boys looking for a new way to "connect" with the church:
The $1.2 million settlement, approved Tuesday in Cook County Circuit Court, involves allegations that the boy was sexually abused by McCormack at the school in 2004 and at a White Sox game at U.S. Cellular Field in 2005.
While there were a total of five victims of Daniel "Frisky Hands" McCormack, the majority of the molestations took place at the rectory, making this less exciting than I was hoping for. Still - at a Sox game? Where can you even do that at a game? Is there a booth to the left of the churros stand for that sort of thing? Or maybe that was the dark secret behind the new "Fundamentals" deck when it was first put in during the 2005 season.
Well, at least he had the common sense to molest the kids during the championship season - if you're going to leave a lasting impression, make sure it's really a lasting season.
Friday, December 19, 2008
LINGERING LIKE A STALE FART
14. Chicago Bears
Chicago's new offense: "Throw the ball up to Devin Hester and hope he either catches it or draws an interference penalty." In other words, the Bears are using the same offense my buddy Geoff mastered in "Madden '96," only without the wrinkle of Kyle Orton running backward for 20 yards, scrambling around for eight seconds and heaving a Hail Mary downfield. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this fails.
Anyways, here's the card:
Will post all the Kwanzaa cards we get from Carl Everett and Shingo Takatsu sometime next week.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Our special teams performance has dropped considerably since he left, just look at the numbers. Devon Hester has just ONE return all season, and has been replaced by a guy with a chick's name. Its not that he's gotten slow or magically stopped being awesome - it's that we dont have Brendon.
Now the hard part is getting him back in a Bears uniform. We will need to pull out all of the stops, therefore I suggest, luring him back with straight up blackmail:
Listen here Brendon:
Either you come back or we send this to every major news source in the country.
Brother Up Fools!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Lance Briggs fashion show: Video is from last season, although breasts are timeless...
"I played them all," he said. "Special teams-wise, it lets me know they were missing their captain and their spark plug on special teams. I'm just happy I get to represent my players and coaches in Baltimore." (you can read more from Brendon here).
Here he is, petitioning his former fans for votes on Mouthpeice sports:
This guy? This is Joey Gathright, the newest Cubs acquisition. Aside from hopping cars in his spare time, Gathright will serve as a cheap utility outfielder/pinch runner...when he's healthy enough to do it. Don't expect him to become the next Reed Johnson, but if he does pan out to something useful, just remember that we mentoned the possibility first.
Speaking of leaps and bounds, did anyone see the Hawks game last night?
What a merciless shellacking! 9-2! That's almost a football score!
Kane and Brouer led the charge as the Hawks took their 6th game in their last 7 attempts. I'm really not sure I'm ready to care about the Blackhawks, but they're really trying to get me interested. The goaltending has been great, we've been scoring points (unlike last year), and we're actually playing well overall.
Finally, getting leapfrogged again, is the Bulls.
This game was so depressing that there isn't even a usable pic from the web. We catch a break when Raja Bell gets ejected in the first 7 minutes, and what do we do? We let DJ Augustin drop 29 on us (to Rose's 6) and get burned on a shitty foul in OT. For those of you who missed it, Rose was called for touching one of Augustin's phantom limbs on a 3-point shot. To quote:
Rose: “I must have blinked too hard or something."
Augustin (smiling): “That’s what the ref called.”Bullshit. Augustin sank all three FT shots, and helped put his team ahead for good. Okafor also dominated the backboard with 13 boards and 4 blocks - it was really only a matter of time.
In other news, Deng has menstrual cramps and missed most of the second half, just to come in and foul out during OT. Tyrus Thomas made himself useful off the bench, and Ben Gordon put in a solid showing, but the Bulls are still below .500 on the month.
Can it be baseball season yet?
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Uh, nothing really happened yesterday. At all. The Bulls, Bears and Blackhawks all had the day off, and there really wasn't anything in terms of baseball news or rumors, unless you count the possible pursuit of Joey Gathright...and I don't.
Hell, I can't even make the "Donovan McNabb might show up in Chicago next year" throwaway post because, well, it's not gonna happen. McNabb is probably run out of Philly, but why would the Bears overpay for someone who's not getting the job done - especially when we have the cheap and effective Neckbeard?
Here's hoping one week from tonight has The Beard with a huge game against the Pack, and a crushing loss for the Vikings.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Don't even think about it.
Today's new (well, not really new, but "restated with renewed vigor") rumor is that the Sox are actively pursuing Willy Tavarez. Aside from the fact that the guy's name is "Willy," I can think of at least two problems here:
#1. He's another high-speed low OBP guy from Colorado. If you wanted to see Podsednik return to the White Sox, this is the closest you're going to get. Tavarez is 26 (older than Brian Anderson) and coming off of a year where he stole a career-high 68 bases...and batted .251. When you're a speedster, having an on-base-percentage of .308 does not strike fear into the hearts of men. You can't steal if you can't get on base - it's as simple as that. Throw in the fact that he plays for Colorado (a homefield hitters paradise), and you should drop his batting stats about .30 to even it out.
#2. Why pay a new guy to hit .230. OK, this is a little mean, but adjusting Tavarez's non-Colorado stats gives him an approximate batting average of .230. You know what other center fielder can hit .230? Brian Anderson. Anderson plays much better defense, has a better arm, and is a very good baserunner. I don't see a reason to shell out more money for a similar player who is not leaps and bounds better - especially when we have Jerry Owens.
That said, Tavarez would likely bat 9th (not leadoff) if he came to town, and would block Owens, Anderson, and newly-signed DeWayne Wise from playing. He's not injury-prone (yet), and he would come relatively cheap, but being a one-dimensional speedster makes you no better than Jerry Owens.
Let's make another run at trading Konerko, shall we?
Friday, December 12, 2008
Anyways, contest is over, and who wins?
Waiiiiiiiit a second. That can't be right! That's Ashley Bond of the Lovabulls! Man, those Bulls cheerleaders sure are gorgeous...we even dedicated a post to dissecting their beauty. So, now we've got this seemingly bogus contest awarding a beauty award to a LOVABULL!?!? What, we the Blackhawks girls out of town or something?
Bond's award was handed to her by last year's winner, shown below on the left.
Wait a second, she looks kinda familiar...
GAH! COLLUSION! Shannon Lersch (our highest ranked LovaBull, and leader of the MILF division, if that tells you anything) was the 2008 winner!?
This is so bogus.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Everyone in Chicago seems to think that the Cubs and Sox are both in need of a lead-off hitter, and they'd be right. Soriano and his lead-off homerun needs to be batting further down, and the closest thing the Sox have to a lead-off hitter is Jerry "I sprained my ass taking a shit" Owens. Common consensus is that both teams are going to make a run at Brian Roberts.
Sure, we could go with that - overpay for Roberts dealing with the notoriously stingy Orioles, get one year out of him and then have to pay him the salary increase he's earned (or trade him). That doesn't really sound like the trouble it's worth, especially when you consider how many prospects it will take to pry him from Baltimore.
Instead, why isn't anyone talking about Ichiro?
Ichiro does a few things that Roberts doesn't. For one, he has hit over .300 every year with at least 30 SB - a remarkable feat. His "slap-hitting" style keeps him on the basepaths, and his ability to steal makes him deadly. He also comes with a contract that locks him up until 2012 (and pays him deferred money post-retirement...cool). Ichiro plays a mean RF, something that the Cubs and White Sox would both like to fill (Jermaine Dye is likely going to be traded, and Fukudome is likely going to be deported).
Most importantly, the Mariners would be willing to trade him. The common consnensus in Seattle is "oh dear lord, we suck." It is very much time to rebuild in Seattle, and Ichiro is probably past his prime (what, hitting only .301 next year?). The Mariners have already shown that they're not afraid to trade big names for youth in their latest trade with the Mets. Seattle traded away Putz (best closer they've had in a while), and Jeremy Reed in exchange for a boatload of prospects, Endy Chavez, Aaron Heilman, and a spunky young outfielder named Franklin Gutierrez.
If Seattle is maintaining their youth movement (and I see no reason why not), this is probably the best time to make a run for Ichiro. If the Sox offered a package of youth (Poreda and Getz?), they could probably get the job done. Likewise, the Cubs could offer to eat his entire salary and dump more failed talent (Sean Marshall, Rich Hill, et al). Oh, and did I mention that Ichiro fills seats (with Japanese reporters, but hey, seats are seats).
Frankly, I just want to see how Fukudome would react to Ichiro joining the team. It would be worth it just to see Ichiro try and "respectfully" take Fukudome's job in front of 100,000 rabid Japanese media.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
#1. The Blackhawks have heart, soul, and Happy Meals.
#2. The Cubs are a scandal waiting to happen (I actually toyed with writing something about this today, but what can you do?)
- Two goalies once MIA will be seeing ice time. Khabibulin and Martin Gerber are both expected to start for the first time in a while. Khabibulin was out with an injury, but with Corey Crawford send back to the AHL, it opens a spot.
- The Hawks are (hopefully) still riding high after Sunday's slaughter where they scored seven goals in the first 28 minutes. Sharp, Kane, and Toews are all getting hot on the ice, going on consecutive point streaks.
- Likewise, the Senators have scored three or more goals in three straight games for the first time this season. With both teams riding hot, it looks like it's going to be a bad day to be a goalie.
Final Score: Hawks 3, Senators 2
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
News is trickling in that the Cubs may be involved in a three-way deal that would essentially net them Jake Peavy in exchange for Mark DeRosa. My two gut reactions are, "how the hell did the Cubs pull this one off" followed immediately by "oh yeah, it's the Cubs. Welcome to Chicago Nomar #2."
The trade would essentially send DeRosa to the Phillies, who would part with a few prospects (such as pitcher J.A. Happ) that would go to the Padres, ultimately sending Peavy to the Cubs. You already know my feelings on the Cubs acquiring Peavy, but trading your second-baseman doesn't do anything unless you're SURE you're going to get Brian Roberts.
Pop quiz - it's late, and you're hungry. Getting out of bed takes effort, and you bust your ass for the fans all week anyways, so none of that. Gotta stay in shape, though, so any bedtime snack needs to be healthy.
A: Get drunk and go boating
B: Carve an apple and yourself in the process
C: Attempt to get up, walk two yards and collapse on the floor.
If you answered anything but B, you're obviously trying too hard to be Cedric Benson. The lone source of optimism for the Bulls, Derrick Rose, is 10 stitches richer after an apple-related incident.
"It was a silly incident," Rose said. "I was cutting up some food and I laid on a knife getting lazy in bed. I went to go get a bottle of water, came back, forgot the knife was there, then sat down and sliced my arm."
So Rose lays down in bed and snuggles up to a machete. Fucking brilliant.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Bears win, improve to 7-6 and stay one game out of 1st behind the Vikings (8-5). Packers lose (surprisingly, actually) and likely won't make the playoffs.
The Jags D is clearly hurting from their offseason moves, missing Marcus Straud and Aaron Glenn. They were always a top 10-15 defense since I can remember... now they look like crap. Nevertheless, they did a nice job containing Forte, who "only" had about 110 yards from scrimmage. Israel Idonije got some pressure on Garrard moving in from special teams and obviously Dan Manning (can't keep calling him Danieal) had a huge day. Good showing from the Bears TE's too (Olsen and Clark both had TD's) and a really nice grab on Olsen's TD.
I will admit, Fred Taylor never ceases to amaze me. I remember a few years ago when he guaranteed 2000 yards (I think this was in 1999/2000) and everyone thought he was crazy. He subsequently got injured within 10 seconds and missed most of the next 3 seasons. I remember when he was "Fragile Fred" (he's only missed a handful of games in the last 5 years) and everyone hated him for being questionable every game, all the time. I think Taylor is one of the most severely underrated players in the league, as was his teammate Jimmy Smith, one of the greatest fantasy WR's of all time. Taylor finished the game with 53 yds on 13 carries and passed newly incarcerated O.J Simpson and Corey Dillon to move into 16th place on the NFL Career Rushing Leader board.
So, all the talk yesterday was that the Sox were about to send Jermaine Dye to the Reds in exchange for Homer "Homo" Bailey. I'd been hearing rumors about it all week, and at one yesterday, it was even confirmed and waiting for league approval. I have never been happier to hear that a Sox trade has been hot air than I am today.
Now, this probably goes against everything I've been saying the last two weeks - I want the Sox to trade the older, more expensive players, and to pick up some young quality pitching. At first glance, the Dye for Homo trade has that in spades. Bailey was once touted as the best prospect in the Reds' system (and with as many years of losing and high draft picks that they have, that's certainly saying something), was untouchable in the minors, and is 22 with a cheap contract. Dye is 34 years old and making over $7 million a year. Win win, right?
Before I even rip into Homo Bailey, let's discuss Dye's real value. Dye not only comes through with leadership and post-season hitting (.438 in the 2005 WS and .375 in last year's ALDS), but he's generally the "rock" of the team. He's played over 135 games every year on the team, with at least 25 HR and is generally one of our best run-produces (including a monstrous 120 RBI campaign in 2006). Since leaving Oakland, he has shed his "injury-prone" label to play without far, making some plays in RF that helped bring back memories of Aaron Rowand. Dye is also a clubhouse presence and one of those guys that helps keep a team together. Not really someone you want to give up unless the package is going to be good.
Bailey, on the other hand, has slowly declined in value since an early debut in 2007. Once touted as the best prospect in the Reds' system in 2006, Bailey was brought up in 2007 to face the Indians and promptly fell flat on his face. Bailey never quite displayed any semblance of control, walking 28 batters in 45 innnings (which, sadly, is about on par for him, minors included). Still, he showed flashes of promise over the year with some quality starts, and gave Reds fans hope for 2008.
Fast forward to 2008, and Bailey gets decimated by the longball. Bailey gives up 8 HR in only 36 innings, and gives up 36 runs (32 earned) to compile a 7.93 ERA for the season with various demotions/callups. His strikeout rate has decreased every year since being drafted, he doesn't have much in the way of control (walks way too many guys, serves up a lot of junk), and while he mysteriously seems to thrive in the minors, he's a long way from getting this whole "MLB" thing figured out. He's no Clayton Kershaw.
This is the Joe Borchard/Brian Anderson of pitchers, everyone. A guy who destroys the minors but can't seem to get it together for the big show. For someone else, I would welcome Bailey as another promising project for Don Cooper, and wring my hands in anticipation of our future team. But for Dye? No chance. Besides, as much as Don Cooper loves pitching projects, he's already got enough on his hands with Richard, Marquez and company. Also, who would play Right Field? Or CENTER FIELD for that matter?
Here's hoping this rumor gets squashed and that if we DO trade Dye, we're getting another boatload of prospects (see: Vasquez/Swisher) with some major-league-ready help in the outfield. As much as I love prospects (or websites about prospects), this one creates more holes than it fills.
...I hear Joe Borchard is available.
Friday, December 5, 2008
"You want to keep warm when you're feeling chilled
But you don't want to raise your heating bill
Blankets are okay, but they can slip and slide
and when you need to reach for something -- your hands are trapped inside
Now -- there's the Snuggie!"
Thursday, December 4, 2008
While it's probably very likely that the Vasquez trade is the one and only move the Sox make that's worth a damn, I'd still like to believe Kenny and Ozzie will continue the overhaul. I don't really know what else they would do, but let's take odds of what they can do.
2:1 - Do nothing else of note. Not surprising, really. Kenny likes to stand pat when he thinks he's made all the necessary tweaks to compete, and this might be one of those times.
4:1 - Seemingly worthless FA signing. Why spend big money when you can "fill gaps" with wasted potential? We're talking Jayson Nix's of the world - oh wait, we did that already, didn't we? We can always find Timo Perez or Pablo Ozuna in a pinch, too.
7:1 - A no-name trade. These can actually be a blessing in disguise. It's the way we got Matt Thornton (bye Borchard!) and Carlos Quentin under the radar. The more of these the merrier.
9:1 - Relief help signed. This could be anyone from Juan Cruz to Troy Percival to Brian Fuentes. You can never have enough help in the bullpen, and we seem to like taking former closers and turning them into setup men (Linebrink, Dotel). With Boone Logan out of the picture, SOMEONE is going to have to have those critical 7th inning meltdowns for us.
15:1 - A "too late now" signing by Kenny Williams. Why spend the big bucks on a big name free agent when you can take an all-star name that rings a bell in the fan's mind....until they realize that the player has essentially been retired for the past few seasons. With Griffey gone, I can see Kenny taking a wild swing at Michael Barrett (pun intended), Mark Sweeney, Bartolo Colon, Corey Patterson, Sidney Ponson, Carl Pavano or even Jacque Jones. That's a whole lot of ex-Cubs to choose from. I can see some of those guys panning out (Pavano and Jones), but getting Barrett to languish behind AJ would be just the sort of thing KW would do (see: Toby Hall), not to mention it would be hilarious.
55:1 - Another big trade. With big boys like Paulie and Thome eating roster space and clogging the basepaths, Kenny might (finally) decide it's time to go with a sleeker and speedier lineup ala the Rays. The number of trade options is extremely limited, partially because of Thome and Konerko's various no-trade clauses, and also because you can't send Thome to the NL. There's also talk of Dye and Jenks going away as well as Kenny continues to free up cash and acquire youth.
300:1 - Big name FA signing. This is not going to happen. It's anti-Kenny, but there is the slim chance that the Sox say "screw it, I'm going deep" and shell out the big bucks for a top free agent. Dumping more of our big names will free up the money, and the market is going to be a little more reasonable this year due to the economy. Guys like Sabathia (yes, please) or Manny (yes) may be on the back of Kenny's mind. Hell, I'd be happy with signing Abreu or Alou to help out in a pinch (especially if Dye gets traded).
OFF - Kenny takes all the youth we just acquired and trades it for a washed up player like Chris Carpenter. Kill me.
Any other odds out there?
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
So much good news at once...I just don't know what to do! I guess we'll take it from the top:
Announcement #1: Javier Vasquez is traded to the Braves. Mood: Pleased. Trading Javy means two things - it means that we're getting some talented youth (which the Braves have in spades), and it means that Clayton Richard is probably going to join the big boys in the rotation (hell yes). While Javy eats innings and strikes out a lot of batters, he is most decidedly the anti-clutch as evidenced last year. Plus, the Braves will eat his $23 million contract. There is a god.
Announcement #2: Boone Logan is going with him. Mood: Ecstatic. Boone Logan has two purposes - growing an awesome goatee, and pitching well in Spring Training. Any other task outside of those basic functions renders him deadly to the team. Case in point, any Logan outing after May. His value is probably at its highest, and trading both Javy and Logan practically guarantees a AAA prospect - not to mention saving some cash.
Announcement #3: Sox are rumored to receive John Gilmore, Santos Rodriguez and Brent Lillibridge. Mood: Happy, waiting for other shoe to drop. I don't give a damn about Gilmore. As far as I'm concerned, a young scrappy 3B is just icing on the cake. Lillibridge is going to fight for (read: win) a job in the infield in the next year or so, and may be a steal for the club in the longrun. If Rodriguez pans out, and Cooper has a tendency to polish turds, this is great news. Sox are also rumored to get another top prospect...
Announcement #4: Sox get Tyler Flowers. Mood: Feel like dancing. Flowers is legit. He's (currently) a catcher. We get a post-AJ backup plan and the guy (roids aside) can flat out rake. He was considered an untouchable for Peavy. We absolutely dominate this trade.
Announcement #5: This quote - "Teams also are being told the White Sox will take offers on first baseman Paul Konerko and DH Jim Thome." Mood: Pants soiled from joy. This was the real announcement I was waiting for. This is Ozzie saying "Hey, Kenny, screw this "win now" bullshit. We've got these tubs of shit on the basepaths eating our cash and they're just not getting it done." Not only does the initial trade free up money to make a move, but freeing one of these guys practically guarantees we make a run at a big name player (Manny or Abreu? Either one in a Sox uni is fantastic news). We can go young and compete for the next 4 or 5 years instead of giving another half-assed shot this year and then being screwed for a decade.
This is just so much good news...stay tuned for updates.
Edit: Also, I totally forgot to announce the winner of the DVD contest - Mordechai wins for his amusing yet pitiful recount of how he was present for the Cubs historic 2003 postseason collapse. I also seem to have lost the email with the full entry. Send me an email with your address before I sell your DVD winnings for smack.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Somewhere around this time last year, a stupid idea became a reality, and a really difficult-to-publicize name was attached to a heavily biased blog about Chicago sports. Since we've spent the last year giving you our side of the story, here's a little trip down memory lane.
- Remember where it all started?
- Remember Brad, The TPC, and Bloomerang back when they contributed to the site (and before our Cubs coverage was entirely one-sided)?
- That time we tried to quit abruptly.
- Our various experiments in boredom: Fun with sign generators, and other randomness.
- That time we won an award for best logo (link is apparently busted).
- When Fisting Andrew Golota joined the crew.
- The clusterfuck "Free Shit Month."
- Our logo contest.
- Our first piece of breaking news, and our first article to be linked to by Deadspin.
- The first revelation of Aaron Gray's true identity.
- The still uncompleted mission.
- Former site mainstays "GMOTD" and "WTTHT"
It's been a hell of a year, and hopefully the next year is even better. We really appreciate all of our loyal readers - all two of you. If you've been sticking around and reading us regularly, you've probably developed a tumor in your brain. We're sorry.
As an added bonus on our anniversary, anyone who comments on this post gets a chance to win a free shirt. I'll pick one of the comments at random and send a shirt out, and because I'm a nice guy, you can get your pick of the logo.
Long live the Dong.