Monday, August 31, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Hell, even Brian Anderson - who was 1-6 with the Red Sox - was sent down. It's just been a slow repeated punching yourself in the balls.
That said, here are a few things to look forward to in the coming weeks:
Footballfootballfootball: If you didn't just get a hard-on from that bolded text, you're illiterate. It's time for Forte, Cutler, Hester, Bennett, and Olsen to dominate the competition. We're going to really have a passing attack - holy shit.
Cubs go 10+ GB: Nothing will make me happier than knowing that the Cubs will be more than 10 games back in mere days. With Matt Holliday hitting .933 for the Cardinals, there's not much to do other than sit back and laugh. Looks like Mark DeRosa got on a championship NL team after all...
Peavy Time: Since I highly doubt that the Sox will be able to take the division with two and a half starters, Peavy will probably be brought up next week where he can be on a short pitch count and do nothing much of note (prediction: 5.2 IP, 2ER, 3K, 1BB), but it's still a good sign if he pitches without exploding into a fiery ball of flame and DL visits.
Colon Headline(s): There's going to be at least one more. Probably not "Colon Released", though, because it would be too awesome.
September Callups: Time to see the farm. Both the Sox and Cubs are a little short of major super prospects, but it never hurts to see who can make an impact.
And if all else fails, at least we can rest easy knowing that Jerry Reinsdorf is no longer going to buy the Phoenix Coyotes. What a clusterfuck that would have been.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Look - I know it's been hard for the last 10 years to find an action star you really identify with. The 90's were so easy - Ahnold, Stallone, and Bruce Willis made life easy for you to find a likeable man who wasn't afraid to kill things for you. Nowadays, you have the occasional Ong-Bak or Jason Statham movie, but there really isn't a likeable killing machine around (oh, and whoever is calling out Vin Diesel can suck it. That guy couldn't kill a mortally wounded puppy).
THANKFULLY, we have the brilliant masterminds of Hollywood to thank for this:
That's right - in a movie about giving old, steroid-addled action stars another hurrah, Bruce Willis joins the already talented and beaver-tranquilizer-using cast of Stallone, Ahnold, Jet Li, Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Robers, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Mickey Rourke, and Steve Austin (wrestler, not $6 million man).
If this movie isn't just 2 hours of shit exploding and grimacing, I want my money back.
Nice video of MJ dropping bombs on some semi-pro. Somehow, he manages to elevate despite wearing 75 pounds of jeans. Seriously, he must be squatting 900 pounds to even get off the ground in those pants. via
What, did you REALLY think I was going to let this go? Did you think I would take some sort of "normal" route and stop writing about a career minor-leaguer just because he got traded into the black hole that is AAA Pawtuckett?
Go fuck yourself.
Now, it wouldn't really be fair to simply assume that Anderson would continue to perform amazingly well. You have to report on the good news as much as the bad news. And frankly, AAA Pawtuckett is the worst team in the world. Seriously. You know that you have a problem when the team is scouting those with disabilities.
Just how bad are they? They have a total of FOUR WINS in August, with the majority of losses ranking as crushing defeats. I don't think Pawtuckett has scored more than 5 runs in any game this season. Offensive powerhouses, indeed.
And what of Brian Anderson?
Although he's reached base safely in 7 of his last 10 games, Anderson is batting a paltry .259 with a K/BB spread of 16/2. I attribute this to playing with a broken heart.
While I will continue to cheer for Brian Anderson (and I suggest you do the same unless you're some sort of communist), I must say that this is disheartening news. Brian needs your love, people! WE CAN HELP HIM SUCCEED.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Yeah, it's kinda like that.
Everything starts off well enough - you get a big name player (Bradley) to address what you thought was your one weakness, and you're all excited to have a full season with Rich Harden and newly acquired closer Kevin Gregg. Man, this season will be great!
And on the 8th day, the good lord created a deceptive baseball franchise that leads you to believe that all will be sunshine and puppy farts until, say, the season actually starts.
I can only begin to fathom how miserable it must be to be a Cubs fan. I mean, every year seems like it should be better than the last (wait till next year indeed), and it's just enough to make you forget that your team is a bunch of perennial losers. Here we are, at the beginning of August, and the Cubs are already playing themselves out of their division. St. Louis, with the help of (gasp) Mark DeRosa and Matt Holliday (who is hitting 2.173 because he did the extra credit), is slowly building a nice lead as the Cubs begin to flounder (Bradley in the 2-spot!? HA!).
I'm not saying that the Sox are a better team this year (we are) or that the Sox have a better chance of winning their division (which they do), but it's not like the Sox went this offseason and made a bunch of moves to "help us win now." We traded our third SP Vazquez (who has been filthy in the NL...unsurprising), lost Crede, and let Orlando Cabrera walk as well. We only shell out money in the middle of the season for players with huge risks attached to them that may or may not fuck us over entirely in two seasons.
As for the Cubs? Well, after watching Kevin Gregg pitch two seemingly perfect innings that were then punctuated with a game-winning HR...all I can say is that Marmol would have lost the game sooner. I think that's consoling, right?
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Nice one, Kenny!
Williams was cited Monday outside Safeco Field for illegally crossing a street away from a crosswalk. The GM was on his cell phone after exiting a cab and was on his way into the stadium hours before his team's game against the Mariners when a traffic-control officer nabbed him and wrote a $56 ticket.
Williams had just completed a waiver claim that brought All-Star outfielder Alex Rios -- and $61.6 million of his contract -- to Chicago.
Williams tried to tell the officer people in Chicago cross streets anywhere. He said the officer told him, not in Seattle.
Well, that didn't last long. Despite the warm and fuzzy feelings of the 2009 Blackhawks, we have still found a way to get ourselves into the news long after the ice has melted.
...this is probably not the best way.
The pair allegedly punched the cab driver and grabbed money they had handed him after he told them he didn't have twenty cents in coins to give them their change, the report said.
Their fare was $13.80 and they handed the driver $15, according to a report.
The cab driver told police he was punched in the face and head, grabbed by the throat and had his glasses broken during the incident.
While we await a final verdict on Cap'n Kane, we can take a more comical look at J.P. Ricciardi, GM of the Toronto Blue Jays. The Sox put in a waiver claim on Alex Rios, the $11-kajillion outfielder who has underperformed (and still has $60-million left on his contract) in the hopes of maneuvering a larger deal. Instead, Ricciardi said "enjoy!" and let the Sox claim him without any compensation.
This can either go into "Mega Win" or "Oh Dear Lord Why." If Rios somehow resembles the player he used to be (speed, average, and great defense), he's going to be roaming our CF in 2012 in what looks like a discount compared to other players. If he doesn't rebound, we're looking at a $60-mil paperweight.
As a result, the Sox are now on the hook for ALL of Rios' contract, which goes another six years. So what does this move actually mean for us? It means a few things:
#1. Williams expects Rios to rebound. Coming to US Cellular generally helps hitters, so I would expect a little bounceback from those stats...getting up another .30 in the average seems unlikely though. Still - he has great speed, rarely gets hurt, and if he can get on the bases, he can be very VERY useful.
#2. We now have a Thome/Dye backup plan. Should either one of them be, er, "relocated" next season, we have a replacement at either position.
#3. Where the hell is he going to play? Heaven forbid that DeWayne Waste of Sperm Wise gets sent down or even (gasp) released to make room for Rios on the roster. After all, EVERY major league team needs three reserve outfielders. In all seriousness, Podsednik, Quentin and Dye have the three positions sewn up. If Rios plays in this current offense, it wouldn't be more than to spell Dye or Quentin (although who knows - he can play CF). This limits Wise to late inning defensive replacement (if he's still even on the team), and Kotsay to Konerko's replacement.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
1) Greg Olsen will finish the season as one of the top 3 TE's in the NFL
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Because I am incapable of letting go on this whole "Brian Anderson" thing, I thought it would be nice to do a quick "where are we now."
Brian Anderson: After starting off his time in AAA Pawtuckett slowly, Anderson is now 7 for his last 25 (.280 avg) with 2 HR. I'd like to say that the "Anderson effect" is in play here, but it's a moot point because the team is so awful. How awful? Before Anderson came the team record in July was 3-14. Since coming on board, they are 4-9. Not exactly a savior in the midst, but it's something.
DeWayne Wise: Since Anderson was traded, Wise has exactly two hits. Two. This 2/15 stretch run actually IMPROVES his average, as he is at a Royce Clayton-esque .193 avg. Pathetic.
Mark Kotsay: One hit since joining the club for an overpowering .077 average. I don't even want to talk about it.
White Sox: We're 6-7 since Anderson left town. To compare, in the first half of July we were 9-7. We also lost critical series to the Tigers and Twins with a miserable 1-6 run (until, strangely, Alexei got hurt...)
Oh, and just to rub salt, here's Richard's line against the offensive-heavy Brew-crew: 5.2 IP, 1 ER, 5 Ks.