Wednesday, October 17, 2012


I saw this and this a while back but never shared it, since it's probably BS. Nevertheless, it's still funny and I've sent both links around to people before, so figured might as well share here too.

My favorite story:

Who was the better defender?  Pippen was one of the best and most gifted defenders of all time.  But MJ was the better defender.  Michael could shut down anyone in the world for a 3 minute span.  The best he’s ever seen.  (I was pretty shocked by that, but man what does that tell you about MJ, unbelievable.)  Jordan was the most ferocious competitor Bach has seen in all his years of basketball.  Johnny said physically Jordan and Pippen were about the same as defenders.  But when you add in MJ’s ruthlessness and trash talk, that put him ahead of Scottie.
When Johnny was coaching with the Hornets in 1995 they had a good team.  Glen Rice, Mourning, Johnson.  Series was tied at 2 and Hornets had a chance to win game 5 in Chicago.  On the biggest possession of the game, Mugsy had the ball with the Hornets down 1.  Jordan backed off of him and told him: “shoot it you f—ing midget.”  Mugsy shot it, didn’t come close.  A year later Mugsy actually told Johnny Bach that he believes that single play ruined his career.  His shot never recovered.


Friday, September 21, 2012

Ladies: Let's Have a Party

This is even more funny if you believe these Johnny Bach stories:


Thursday, September 20, 2012

Smokin Jay Cutler. I love Tumblr.

This might be the best use of Tumblr that I've ever seen:

I mean, come on, this is pretty awesome.


Friday, September 14, 2012

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Bears. Week 1. Boner.


I could literally watch this clip all day...

After bullying the worst team in football, at home, against a rookie QB, without the opposition's best player (Freeney- who left the game in the first quarter) and with 5'11, 200 point Vontae Davis trying to guard 6'5, 230 point Brandon Marshall  (which was like a bad episode of my favorite show, Half Pint Brawlers, I think we are 100% justified in getting TOTALLY UNREASONABLY OVEREXCITED!

Look, the NFL is an offensive-minded league right now - almost every decent team dropped around 40 points on Sunday and there were like 7.2 billion pass attempts (I saw a bunch of broken records on ESPN). The Bears have done an awesome job re-tooling the team around the offense. With a young, talented O-line comprised of several top draft picks, Forte/Bush, Marshall and Jeffery the Bears could be scoring in bunches all season. I could get used to it too... it's fun to watch.

Quick thoughts:

1) Loved our first series. Classic Bears move - set the bar real low...

2) Love the huge balls on Cutler right now. I can only imagine how much pent-up trash talking he has to share now that he has some reasonable offensive weapons. He's been storing it up for 3 years. Huge load to blow.

3) Excited for tomorrow night. Let's go into Lambeau and leave some skidmarks.



*See last sentence, first paragraph.

Monday, April 30, 2012



Today is the worst day in Chicago sports history.

Not because the Bulls lost their best player and reigning MVP for the remainder of the playoffs (and a good chunk of 2013). Not because we've likely squandered the best Bulls team since '98. And not just because I happen to have a man-crush on Derrick Rose. 

Chicago just lost their prodigal son - a once in a lifetime talent, born and raised in Chicago, a gift from the lottery gods who embodies everything good about Chicago: the  blue collar work ethic, gangster toughness, and an absolute refusal to back down from anything or anyone (I assume he also likes Polish sausage and deep dish pizza). He also happens to be one of the most breathtakingly explosive guards I've ever seen.

And it's the explosive nature of his game that makes this post sound like an obituary: he's not just "hurt" and not just missing this particular playoff run. The DRose we've marveled at since high school is in all likelihood truly gone.

Rose's game is essentially a giant decision tree that begins with his explosiveness. He can beat you off the dribble and finish at the rim. That's the talent that sets him apart. All of the other parts of his game are derivative from that one ability - defenders play off him, so he built up a solid 3-point shot; he gets double-teamed when he drives the lane, so we brought in perimeter shooters who can hit open 3's; teams clog the lane against him so he perfected the high-floating teardrop shot (that has a ridiculously high degree of difficulty). If you take away his ability to blow by and finish over any defender, his remaining skill set is average, at best. 

A torn ACL is pretty much the worst thing that can happen to an explosive athlete. Sure, lots of players have recovered from ACL tears to have very productive careers (mostly NFL players) but I literally cannot think of a single one who ever regained the same explosiveness they had prior to the injury. There are cerebral players like Tom Brady and Chris Paul, who were able to return from a torn ACL and still play at an elite level. And there are super athletes that returned to either a lesser version of themselves (Terrell Davis, Edgerrin James, Michael Redd, Baron Davis) or a redefined version of themselves (Tim Hardaway, Jamal Crawford, Ron Harper). I don't think players can dramatically shift between being primarily cerebral and primarily athletic (although players certainly evolve, like MJ towards the end of his career and there are a lot of players who blend across both ends of this spectrum).

For the cerebral players, it's much easier to return to pre-injury form. These are guys who have always relied on their quick-thinking and understanding of the game to play at an elite level, not their athleticism. (Especially Brady.)  The ACL shouldn't have such a dramatic impact on their pre-injury style of play. This is why I wouldn't shed any tears for Ricky Rubio (who tore his ACL last month) - he's a cerebral player who's gift is incredible court vision and pinpoint passing. The ACL will slow him down but won't negate his talent

Unfortunately, there isn't much precedent for the super-athlete type of player to return from a torn ACL and play at an elite level. The history books are littered with examples and there is research supporting the statement.

Rose sadly falls almost entirely into the super-athlete category. Maybe he'll change his game and become a different type of player - a deadly shooter with a great mid-range game. Maybe he can even be an All-Star by playing the same style game at 80% of his pre-injury ability (he was that freaking good). Obviously, both of these options depress the hell out of me.

If there is a bright side, it may lie in how the latest crop of stud athletes (Adrian Peterson, Jamaal Charles) recover from their newly torn ACL's. Medicine has advanced a bit and both of these guys are known hard-workers and will dedicate themselves to the rehab (like I'm sure Rose will). Charles in particular, as a gifted speedster (super-athlete category) who's had a full season and off-season to recover since he blew out his knee in the first game of last season. If he can return to his former blazing self on the field, then perhaps there is hope for Rose.

As it stands, I tend to stick to my inner skeptic: I think Rose's career trajectory just got dramatically altered. We will get him back next season, but it won't be the same Rose. He won't be blowing by people and dunking on 7-foot centers. The basketball fan in my mourns the 5-6 years of lost highlights (he's only 23!) and the Bulls fan in me feels like Ron Burgundy stuck in a phone booth. This is isn't helping either.


Thursday, April 5, 2012

Monday, March 5, 2012

Bears Hunting for V-Jax? Mario Williams?

Please God, please find me an even less likable quarterback...

Well this is a nice shining beacon of hope in what has been an otherwise brutal few months without football:

"We did not like the franchise number; never did," Chargers general manager A.J. Smith said, according to the team's website. "Vincent will enter the market, and we will see what happens. We would like to have him continue on with us, but other teams now will enter the picture."

Well slap my ass and call me sally - this is the best news yet! Do you mean to tell me that the San Diego Chargers, also known as "That team with the two cripples and Vincent Jackson" have decided to let V-Jax walk? Not even a sign and trade? I mean, I know V-Jax was playing to get out, but this is amazing. The Bears have needed a physical receiver since...forever. Seriously - we have a bunch of finesse/speed guys (Knox, Hester, Bennett) but not a single big body to abuse on fade routes like Cutler did with Brandon Marshall. I'm salivating.

Oh, and did I mention that Mario Williams is available too? Yes, THAT Mario Williams, the one with 53 sacks in the past 6 seasons. Can you imagine a defense with him and Peppers, not to mention that Urlacher and Briggs still live? I've got goosebumps.

While we probably can't get both, one is enough to make a run for the Wild Card easily.

Thursday, February 16, 2012


So, I don't know if anyone gives a shit, but I happened to snag an interview with the guy who has this insane-o Jeremy Lin card. Long story short, he's been on CBS, the radio, and is planning on making a kajillion dollars tonight by listing it on eBay.

Without further ado, I give you Yair Rozmaryn:

So what's all this about you having "The Best Jeremy Lin Card Ever"?
That's right. The National Treasures Prime Auto Patch serial numbered to 25. I have the #17 out of 25, Lin's Knicks Jersey #.

Do you think Lin can keep this up?
He's a spectacular player and you can't help but wonder how he wasn't highly touted. I believe he has the ability to be an all-star for years to come and not just because of the voters internationally!

Can you pick a comparable player to all the current "Linsanity"?
Tebow is the only one who comes to mind on a national stage, but Lin is going international. I don't think there's any comparison at this moment.

You can't be serious. Pele? Jordan? Really?
Clearly Pele/Tiger are world class once in a generation athletes. Whether Lin will ever become that, who knows. However, I think the comparisons of what they're capable of doing from a marketing standpoint around the world is fair. David Beckham would probably be the most reasonable comparison.

Come on. You know Jordan rules over all. Maybe try and keep this to PGs in the NBA?
Ha, you suck at fantasy football Gepetto!

...Says the guy who hasn't made the playoffs in years. So what are your plans for the card?
Putting it on eBay tonight with the help of my friend Matt. Will be either a 1 week or 10 day auction.

How much are you looking for, and when does it go on sale?
I'm hoping for upwards of $50,000 but we'll see. Ill let the general public determine that.

Well holy shit. How do I get in on that action?
eBay! Bid bid bid!

I hear you also pulled a child out of a burning building last year. Can you provide a little more information on that?
Yes, it was terrifying, but you when you see an opportunity to do the right thing, who wouldn't do the same? Did I mention I did it with a broken leg carrying a litter of baby kittens?

My god. A hero to millions...good luck tonight!

For those of you following this Linsanity, the card goes up for bid at 3:40 PM EST on the air with Fox Business.

Monday, January 30, 2012

This Is How You Know You Suck

Yes, that's right. Boozer is so bad that his own damned kid is rooting for the opposition.

Let's go Heat? How about "Let's Go Get A 28th Trimester Abortion"