Talk about some Chicago Sports!

I mean, just wow!

We see what could possibly have been the biggest comeback ever from a Hawks team that should have been dead in the water after game 3, and they take it down to the wire with some ridiculous goaltending from Crawford.

Oh, and how about them Bulls? Tired of having to deal with this bullshit of close games? LUOL DENG - ACTIVATE. The Dong just lobbed up a steamy pile of jizz on the Pacers, sending them home and allowing Derrick Rose an extra few days to ice his entire body. Even with the foul trouble (Noah has 4 fouls pretty much every half), we are not to be trifled.

Then, we have the White Sox winning not one, but TWO close games against the Yankees. Yesterday's game came down to the fucking wire, with Brent Lillibridge making not one but TWO sick plays. Check out this game ender! And he came in as a PINCH RUNNER.

And then there's the Cubs, who have dropped three straight. Anyone else getting those double dream feet? I know I am!

Shame Is My Middle Name

To further prove the point, here is a clearly stolen image

So, you may notice that we don't write a lot. You may also notice that when we DO post, it is intermittently strewn between contest giveaways and weird posts that seemingly have nothing to do with anything. Said posts are generally tagged with "just paying the bills." I mean, let's face it - the amount of pants I go through from watching the Sox is pretty impressive. I shit a lot. From excitement. Because our team is good. Yeah.

Fact of the matter is, we don't want to do you wrong. However, we do like money, and frankly, the fan interest has subsided a bit. We know we've been naughty - the Sox are good, the Cubs are bad, the Bulls are great, there's a football strike pending...all sorts of shit! And here we are, jerking off, and doing ads. Yeah, we suck.

We can do better. We will do better. Also, show some love.

RuPaul's Drag Race

Contribution by Prince Raymond

You have probably seen him and remember his face. Just think about a certain male strutting down the street in platform heels, and you know who I am talking about. Yes, this infamous individual is named RuPaul. RuPaul is a transvestite who has made himself famous simply for being a transvestite in popular culture. For years, RuPaul has set the stage for all sorts of transgender humans. On his new reality show, "RuPaul's Drag Race," RuPaul grades transvestites as they compete against one another to win the crown of being the best transvestite on the show.

The first time I saw this show on my DIRECTV, I thought it was crazy. I thought that I was watching "America's Next Top Model," but then I had to do a double take to realize these were not models on the show. Instead, these male like figures were actually men dressed as women! This show definitely seems like a scene taken from Shakespeare's "As You Like It," where a male dresses up as a female and vice versa. There is definitely a reversal of gender roles on this show, so a person should probably be comfortable with that sort of thing to enjoy this show. This is one heck of a crazy show, but it is definitely an entertaining one to watch. I love this show and am addicted!

The Soxman Cometh

Crush. Kill. Destroy.

You know what time it is boys and girls? It's time for some motherfucking baseball. Normally, I'd be picking up all sorts of interesting tidbits on the news about the Sox and Cubs and I'd probably have some sort of semblance of how our team is shaping up and where to find some gems this season. Instead, I live in New York now and typing "White Sox" in Google returns the question "Are you sure you didn't mean, 'fuck the red sox?'"

Even so, I'm going to do my best to be excited about that other team that wears black and white on their uniforms. Let's take this one step at a time:

The Pitching:

I'm not even being overly optimistic when I say that the White Sox have one of the top 5 rotations in all of baseball. In terms of sheer expectations, I rank Mark Buerhle as the fifth starter. You think I'm crazy, but look at this:

1. Peavy

2. Jackson

3. Danks

4. Floyd

5. Buerhle

That is a fucking filthy rotation. The only "weakness" we have is proneness to injury. Aside from that, the Sox are flat-out stacked with guys that are either dominant or wily. Love it.

The Lineup:

Hey, remember when the Sox destroyed people with Rios, Konerko, and Ramirez last year? Let's add Dunn to the mix, and holy shit:

1. Pierre

2. Beckham

3. Rios

4. Konerko

5. Dunn

6. Quentin

7. Ramirez

8. Pierzynski

9. Teahen

Again, that is flat-out filthy. Sure, this has a few more question marks associated: can Beckham rebound? Are AJ and Quentin washed up? Will Dunn adjust to the AL? Is Teahen worth two shits? And so on. So what? Fuck you. On paper it's good.

Bullpen

A little trickier here. You know there's a problem if I can't name all the Sox bullpen pitchers without looking it up, but as is my understanding, it's something like this:

RP - Crain
RP - Ohman
RP - Pena
RP - Santos
RP - Sale
CL - Thornton

A little too much dependency on Ohman and Pena for my taste, but still not a bad 'pen. Seriously reminds me of '05 a little bit (in the sense that we need Ohman and Pena to become Cotts and Politte of '05 inexplicably). Even with those weaknesses, if Pena is the worst guy in the 'pen you could do worse.

Bench

Also not looking bad! Not sure who the Sox are going to use this year, but I suspect the Opening Day roster will include some combination of Vizquel, Viciedo, Morel, Castro, Lillibridge, and De Aza. Most likely Viciedo gets stuck in the minors and maybe Lillibridge (the former being too inflexible defensively, and the latter being too much of a spaz offensively). Look for Morel and Vizquel to back up the infield as needed with De Aza and Lillibridge cleaning up in the outfield and Castro serving as the backup catcher for AJ.

Maybe Flowers and Viciedo get called up in case of emergency, but you could do worse.

Bottom Line

• Excellent rotation
• Very good lineup
• Acceptable bullpen
• Acceptable bench
• Cut Marquez already

Topsy Turvy

Incidentally, this is what Kyle Korver's asshole looks like

The Bulls just lost to the Hawks? Brian Anderson just got the loss for the Yankees? The Cubs are fighting in the dugout?

OK, maybe that last one isn't so weird, but WTF IS GOING ON HERE PEOPLE!?

Segue

HOLY BALLS!!!

Saw this one on barstool sports today, then got it emailed to me about 1000 times. Also, CSN wants you to know that modern bar stools are available (and a great prop to use when picking up dudes at the Manhole):

I was thinking of flying back to Chitown for this epic battle but the average ticket price for the game is $869. So, yeah, I'll be watching on TV like just about everyone else.

A few key things to watch:

Penalties: In week 3 (when it mattered), the Pack got called for 18 penalties compared to 5 against the Bears. The same ref (McAuely) is working the game on Sunday, and we'll need all the help we can get.

Donald Driver: The Packers have the deepest and most diverse WR corps in the league with Jennings, Driver, Jones, and Jordy Nelson. Every one of those guys can burn you but Driver is the one I'm worried about. We tend to have a tough time defending big physical receivers and our cover 2 is going to force a lot of short slants - we'll contain Jennings deep but Driver has great hands and can run after the catch. Tillman can hang with him but he has been known to miss the occasional tackle... can't have any mistakes on Sunday.

Israel Idonije: In a weird way, Idonije's game will define the defense: Peppers demands a double team (especially with their weak LT), Tommie Harris is playing really well right now and Melton/Adams is always solid. If Idonije can bring pressure from the other end, Rodgers is going to be uncomfortable all game. A few hits big hits from Idonije and they may be forced to run the ball more than they'd like (and yeah this Starks guy is pretty good, but nobody runs on Urlacher/Briggs).

We'll be live tweeting during the game (@luolsdong) taking any and all questions!!

LET'S GO BEARS!!!

-KEG

Talk About High Stakes

"Swear to me!"

First off, before I go into batshit crazy mode, let's take a second here to recap understand what has happened. The Bears allowed the Packers into the playoffs by not finishing the job in Week 17. Instead of watching the Giants get steamrolled by the Eagles (or Falcons), we have watched Green Bay fight against the odds to make it to the NFC title game. Likewise, with a commanding win over the Seattle Junior Mints, the Bears are in the NFC title game as well.

Has there ever been a more exciting Bears-Packers game? Answer: NO. 1941 gets second place, but come on. Winner goes to the Superbowl. Loser goes home. Holy shit.

I'm not going to sit here and break down both team by position. That's stupid. The game is always close, both teams always leave it out on the line, and no matter what happens, you never feel like anyone dogged it.

This is for more than bragging rights. THIS IS FOR THE FUCKING SUPERBOWL. The very same Superbowl that will NOT feature the Colts or Patriots. This is a Superbowl against the Jets or Steelers - two teams that rely on a strong defense to win, but are both certainly beatable. We could very well see the Superbowl winner come out of next week's game.

Tickets are $500 a pop and rising. Who's with me!?

Keggers is Experiencing Technical Difficulties

File Photo

Sorry for you folks that had to see him like that. Frankly, the poor guy gets a little riled up when it's time for Bears playoffs. I mean, did you see that last post? The whole thing was one jumbled paragraph of lunacy. I'm sure last night's dominating win over the Heatles didn't help his mental state (he was last seen running naked down the streets begging Derrick Rose to copulate with him).

Enjoy the game, Bear Down, and we'll be with you to celebrate or drink heavily.

Here's hoping for one hell of a Bears-Packers game next week.

BEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARS

Holy shit the Bears are playing tomorrow. I'm totally drunk and the Bears are playing tomorrow. The Packers just beat the shit out of the Falcons after they had a first round bye and now I'm worried about the Bears being rusty. The Seahawks are feisty and beat us already in the regular season. It's so hard to rally behind Jay Cutler. Did you see that Rick Reilly article yesterday? Just brutal. And totally accurate. Impossible to rally behind Cutler, just a total bag of douche. Anyway. I am drooling over a Bears/Packers NFC championship game at Soldier Field. Literally sporting wood over it. Insane. I hope we crush Hasselback. No way he drops another crazy game like he did last week. The guy just isn't that good. Lynch? Overrated. I think Peppers is going to kill Hasseltits. We need to win tomorrow. Must win. Win or go home. Fuck the Seahawks.

Tomorrow is everything.

GO BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

-KEG