Conan and Milton

For anyone that saw the post title and was expecting a literary comparison between Paradise Lost and barbaric practices, you need to lay off the peyote. More accurately, in the midst of an amazing dump today, I was thinking about how two different people in two different worlds can be so incredibly alike. Also, don't read House of Leaves if you want to sleep at night.

Just for a minute, let's pour some salt on some old wounds and revisit two of the most interesting people of the minute: Conan O'Brien, and Milton Bradley. As we all know, Bradley was shipped to Seattle, never to be heard from again. O'Brien was also given the boot, although I suspect we will hear more from him in September when he (spoiler alert?) signs on with FOX.

Start from the beginning - O'Brien is given a cushy new position as head of the Tonight Show, a big deal position that just hasn't had the same "Oomph" since Johnny Carson. He replaces an aging Jay Leno, who for whatever reason, is pushed up to an hour earlier to stay on the team.

Bradley is given a cushy new position as RF for the Cubs, a position that just hasn't had the same "Oomph" as when Sosa wandered out there aimlessly blowing kisses. He replaces Kosuke Fukudome, who was shifted one position to CF to keep a spot on the team.

O'Brien works the Tonight Show, but ultimately isn't bringing in the results that his direct competitor, Letterman, is. Likewise, NBC isn't getting the best results out of Leno, as he is playing out of position (who gets home then to watch TV?).

Bradley plays RF as best as a career DH can, but isn't bringing in the results. Fukudome, as he is playing out of position (he's not exactly an ace in the field anymore) is also suffering, leading to lots of freebie runs due to shitty defense.

Both Bradley and O'Brien are told that they're going to have their playing time reduced. Bradley starts seeing time on the bench, and O'Brien is threatened with a return to The Late Show. Needless to say, both respond with a resounding "Fuck You."

Fast-forward to today.

O'Brien, having been labeled a problem for NBC, is dealt to another network. He is paid the money he is owed for this year to sit on the bench until he can start up again with a new network in the Fall.

Bradley, having been labeled a problem for the Cubs, is shut down. He is paid the money he was owed for this year to sit on the bench until he was traded to Seattle.

With a new network/team, both will make them pay.

Go team CoCo Bradley