How To: Fixing the White Sox

This wrench can also play better defense than Teahen

Let's skip the whole "introductory" paragraph and just get right down to the meat of it - the White Sox are flat out BAD. I've had one Sox post this year that was exciting, and that was two fans beating the shit out of each other (see previous post below). This just isn't going to cut it. We are inexplicably forced to think we can always "win now." This is wrong. If that mindset worked, the Oakland Raiders would be the best team in football. Here's what we need to do to right the ship:

#1. Housecleaning
There are certain people that just don't belong in a major league uniform. Sadly, we have more than a few of them on our team, and all of these bastards are hogging space on the 40-man roster. The following people need to be traded for a bag of balls, or herpes, or something else that just isn't them:
- Randy Williams (please just die)
- Jeff Marquez (Randy Williams is going somewhere fun. Go hang out with him)
- Brent Lillibridge (By the time he figures out how to hit, he'll be too old to use the speed)

#2. Lock up the parts that work
The Sox are known as risk takers, but we rarely make a good deal out of it. We need to take less risks, but take steps to lock up the players we want. You don't need to give a multiyear deal to an injury prone player (Linebrink), but one to two years shows a little love. The following people need a re-up:
- JJ Putz (has shown he's close to that magic year with Seattle, a 1-2y deal wouldn't hurt to have him in the back end of our rotation to help out)
- Matt Thornton (lights out, should get a long-term 2-3y deal. He's earned it)
- John Danks (obvious)
- Alexei Ramirez (will come cheaply after slumping in the first half. Young enough to trade if he flops)


#3. Sell high
A lot of the players on our current team are not playing all that shabbily at the moment. The players listed below are either due to come crashing down to "shitty" territory, over the hill, or WAY too expensive. They should be moved ASAP.
- JJ Putz (if you can't resign him, deal him while the value is there)
- Bobby Jenks (that fastball looks awfully hittable, and the contract looks bloated)
- Scott Linebrink (still a name in some places...)
- Freddy Garcia (obviously doesn't have a 2011 rotation spot. Don't waste)
- Tony Pena (he's not exactly DJ Carrasco, but someone else may want him. I don't)
- Andruw Jones (Notorious hot-starter. Will suck sooner than you think)
- Omar Vizquel (Not exactly mentoring, and someone else may want him to play defense)

#4. Play your players where it makes sense!
After watching Teahen look just as good as Wilson Betemit at 3B (that's bad) and Quentin make Jermaine Dye look fast (that's worse) we obviously need to make some changes to how the lineup is structured. I suggest the following:
- Carlos Quentin, DH
- Andruw Jones, RF
- Gordon Beckham, 3B
- Jayson Nix/Mark Teahen, 2B
- Omar Vizquel, anywhere NOT DH

#5. Get the youngins some playing time, and then get more of them.
Does anyone remember how Buerhle cracked our rotation to begin with? Answer - we were so shitty, that he got a roster spot. Looks like that didn't turn out too badly! More youth on the field nets long term gains, and also allows surprises to get on the field.