America's Bulls

Hop on, plenty of room.

After a long hiatus from the Dong (and nervously obsessing over the Bulls the past month), I was inspired to get back to work thanks to an awesome text message and a great line from a friend at work.

First, the text message, from my friend Raanan who I haven't spoken to in over a year. He's from Cleveland.

From Raanan: 10:18am

"Please do not let that asshole make the Finals"

That was pretty awesome.

Then at work this morning, my buddy Scooter rolls in to recap the game and he says:

"This is no longer the Chicago Bulls, it's the America Bulls. Nobody in their right mind wants that egomaniac to win a title. This is the best and last chance to stop him, maybe for a long time."

Then I read Bill Simmons' article about Phil Jackson and reminisced about the Jordan days. How Jackson was able to control Jordan's intensity and obsession with winning and keep it from consuming his teammates (otherwise, he would have absolutely destroyed guys like Will Purdue, BJ Armstrong, Toni Kukoc etc, who could never live up to his expectations). Jordan was like a nuclear reaction- you could harness the energy to do incredible things, but it was dangerous.

Which leads us to tonights ECF game 1.

The Bulls have the best defense left in the playoffs, the league MVP and enough weapons to beat anyone. We've seen star-studded teams flail in the playoffs a million times. We all know it takes a full team and a cohesive strategy to win titles. We should have nothing to worry about in this series, except for the fact that LeBron James, possibly the greatest player since MJ, is on the other team. After plowing through the Celtics, he seems unstoppable (not to mention Wade/Bosh are probably the best 2/3 options in the NBA).

But...

LeBron isn't Jordan.

LeBron has never shown that level of intensity on or off the court and hasn't been able to flip the "kill mode" switch needed to win championships. Maybe it's because he's too friendly, or maybe it's because he cares more about having a good time than winning. I don't think LeBron can carry them when it's needed (maybe Wade can) but a champion needs a true leader. At this point, I'm not convinced LeBron can be that guy.

Bulls in 6.

-KEG

NBA Free Agency: Like a Pedophile in a Kindergarten Class

Fags

As everyone knows (thanks to an insane amount of media coverage), this is the biggest free agent bonanza the NBA has ever seen. The big names include LeBron, Wade, Bosh, Amare, Boozer, Dirk, Pierce and Joe Johnson. Amare just signed with the Knicks (not a bad deal, if he brings others) and Johnson is going to stay with the Hawks for a max deal which is apparently fair market value. But if you're a Hawks fan, you want to find market value, and strangle it to death.

Since everyone else is doing it, here are some arbitrary grades and predictions!

Grades:

Knicks: F

Sure, they got Amare but it's clearly a last-gasp effort to get a blue chip FA before the big 3 spurn the big apple. Amare is a really good player. How he'll play without Nash on a weak team (and on a bum knee with one half of an eyeball) remains to be determined. Unless they ALSO get another really good player, this is a failure of an offseason, considering the tanked last year and traded everything just for the opportunity to get a top 3 guy.

Hawks: F

Seriously. 6 years, 120M for a borderline all-star. Did I mention you'll be paying him until he's 35? Stupendous!

Predictions:
Bosh: I think he'll flirt with the idea of creating a super-team in Miami but will eventually end up in Chicago. It makes too much sense: we've needed a low post guy forever, he can play the 4 with Noah at 5 and he'll get his max deal in a major market city. With NY signing Amare, barring a sign and trade to Cleveland (which I don't know how the Cavs would pull off) or a deal to Miami, I see him on the Bulls.

Team: Bulls

Confidence: Would bet my AC (it's 100 degrees out today)

Wade: This one is tricky. He's throwing everyone for a loop by flirting with Chicago after calling out the organization for being disloyal to former players. Is he distracting us while recruiting the other guys? Is he really considering Chicago? His family does live here and he is in the middle of a divorce... so, it's not crazy. Don't see him in NY but I think he likes Miami too much to leave without going into a sure-fire winning situation. So, either he stays and Miami gets Bosh too (fuck) or he goes to Chicago with Bosh (sure-fucking-fire).

Team: Miami

Confidence: Would bet my adopted son, Julio (he's retarded).

LeBron: the crown jewel of this FA class and the least predictable of them all. He's given no indication of where he'll go and has met with all the major prospects: Bulls, Nets, Clips, Heat, Cavs and Knicks. He makes any of those teams an immediate contender. The Cavs will not agree to a sign and trade, so for a guy who's money-conscious, he'd need to make up the cash difference in a major market (which all of these teams have). Honestly, I have no clue what he values, what kind of guy he is or how much he values loyalty versus living in the set of The Book of Eli. There are really only 4 options:

1) He joins a super team with the other guys in Miami.

2) He and Bosh/Wade join the Bulls

3) He and Wade join the Nets/Clips

4) He re-signs in Cleveland and they get Bosh

I think sadly, that 4 is the most probable although that increases the likelihood that the Bulls get Wade, which is nice. I don't see him joining a super team (it dilutes his Kingship) and I don't see him going to Miami (not a good team even with Wade). So he's either going to Chicago (yay) or staying in Cleveland (boo) and if he stays in Cleveland, he might take Bosh with him (boo!!). He's probably going to stay in Cleveland but I hope he moves, just cause it's more exciting.

Team: Clippers (just to be contrarian)

Confidence: Wouldn't bet my sack hair on it

Nobody knows anything and we're all waiting for Thursday anyway, so here's a clip:

KEG