Where has the Dong been?

So as some of you may have noticed, the Bears played and won last week. And yet this event has not even been acknowledged by the Dong. Why would our ace sportswriters pass this up, especially after bitching for so long about not having anything to write about? Why the lack of updates? Where the hell is everybody around here?

Here's a hint:

These Articles Write Themselves

May I never have to photoshop man-ass again

These are the opening lines straight from Phil Roger's column -- no editing necessary:

"It was a cold January night, and the Cubs' starting shortstop had something to do.

"I'm going to hit some balls," Ryan Theriot said.

Not so long ago, had these words been uttered by a Cubs regular, he would have been talking about balls with dimples, not seams."

Wow.

I mean, I always knew Rogers was a Sox fan, but this is taking your loyalty to extremes.

I'm not going to harp on Rogers too much because I know he's doing what any good Sox fan would do, but really: wow.