What The Hell Happened To: Dragan Tarlac

Hair is SO overrated

While it probably wasn't easy growing up with the name Dragan Tarlac, that's still no excuse for the false hope he gave the Bulls. First of all, we drafted in him in 1995, but he played his first game for us in 2000 when he was done in Europe. Tarlac wasn't even a young or inexperienced player when he came to the Bulls. Dragan first got into professional basketball in 1990 (albeit not the NBA), so you'd think he'd have gotten some experience. Dragan shot above 57% for the first ten years in Greece before he came to the Bulls -- you'd think it would be safe to expect some sort of success, right?

Wrong -- Enter the Dragan.

In 2000, Tarlac "boasted" an amazing 39.4% shooting percentage, averaging 2.4 points a game (compared with 9.8 the year before in Greece). In fact, every major statistic went downhill except for shooting from the line, where he annihilated Ben Wallace's dream numbers by shooting 75.8% from the line. He went to the Olympics that year, too. Somehow. At the end of 2001, Tarlac was simply a bad memory in the mind of Bulls fans.

What the hell happened to Dragan Tarlac?

After the "wonderful" 2000 season, Dragan quietly went back to Europe...where he rebounded quite nicely, averaging 10 points a game. What the hell. Tarlac played for Real Madrid (not Soccer) from 2001 to 2004, finally retiring after playing for CSKA (Moscow) in 2004. With basketball behind him, Tarlac did what any other Ridica native would do.

Unload coal.

That's right -- in 2005, Tarlac teamed up with USAID, an organization that helps farm towns like Ridica. Here's a USAID news blurb from 2005 that says it all:

"They remember when he returned home for a visit...he and several fellow players that he’d brought along, rolled up their sleeves to unload coal for the local school."

What a hero, that Dragan Tarlac. He's been with USAID since 2005, and most recently was part of a story in Dekani where they collected money for Decani Monks.

Guess which oversized white guy is Dragan Tarlac

I Don't Want To Get Off On A Rant Here...

He can't hit a golf ball, but Jordan is a meast with a sniper rifle

If you had the displeasure of watching ESPN suck off Duke, North Carolina and Dick Vitale last night (Oh man. I totally just threw up. Uh oh, here comes some more....) you may have heard that North Carolina power forward/goofy white bitch Tyler Hansbrough passed Michael Jordan for 11th place on the all time UNC scoring list. That may be the only time you ever see Hansbrough's name and MJ in the same sentence. That is, of course, unless it turns out that Hansbrough likes betting or infidelity or child neglecting.

It is a shame though, as there hasn't been a less likeable college basketball star since...well...since UNC's own Sean May. 'Tons o' Fun' somehow managed to thwart the dream of a National Championship from the 2005 Illinois team which featured the likeable threesome of Deron Williams, Dee Brown and Luther Head. Man I miss those guys. You know who doesn't miss them? Bill Self. Fuck you, Bill Self. You took your skills for recruiting and ability to coach up to, but not win the big game to Kansas. Thus leaving us with a group of really talented kids and no one to lead them. Bruce Webber is the Bill Calahan of college basketball. Chump.

But anyway, fuck Tyler Hansbrough. He doesn't deserve to park Jordan's car at the country club. Which is funny, because after his stellar career at UNC is over, that may be as close to the NBA as he is going to get.

Jordan could not be reached for comment.