John St Clair Sucks My Asshole

Jesus, give the guy a pocket protector and call it a day.

I just want to say that St. Clair is supposedly a legend as being one of the best linemen from Virginia's history. I also suspect that there are also only two linemen ever to come from Virginia, and one of them got killed immediately after graduation. How on earth we can afford to start this guy for a whole season, I don't know.

I meant to write about St. Clair's ineptitude after Sunday night's game, but I just never got around to it. He was absolutely atrocious Sunday night, making turnstiles look like they do their jobs more effectively. He was beaten off the line on every play, and generally just looked like he was sorry for getting in the way of the opposition.

The logical assumption, then, is that if Orton had a better lineman in his place, he would have thrown for 300+ and 3 TDs.

Yes, that seems about right...

A Word With John St. Clair

My belt exploded

They dumped Muhsin Muhammad and Darwin Walker?

Aw shucks...I really liked those guys. I really have to wonder about what direction this team is going -- Walker was only due $5.0 million next year, and he was a good friend. And while Moose wasn't at his best last year, he was a team leader for all of us. This is a sad day for us Bears --

-- what?

They cut Fred Miller, too!?

Oh hell yes! I'm finally starting! They got rid of that tub of shit in the way! Yes! Yes! Yes! You hear that, Freddie-boy? I finally got the nod, you waste of sperm! You remember that TD I had last year? That was just a taste of things to come! I am ver-sa-tile, and the team knows it. We all know why your play dropped off this year -- it's because of ME. Ex-Lax in your milk, thumbtacks under your seat, and holding your sister hostage were all me, baby. You were so frazzled out there you made Archuleta look useful. Adios! So long! Farewell!

Oh man, I cannot WAIT for this year. This is going to be so fucking sweet -- it's going to be like "The Year of the Dragon," except they're going to be talking about ME. "The Year of the St. Clair?" Nah, that sounds gay. What do you think we --

"John St. Clair is next on the depth chart at right tackle, but the Bears will look to upgrade in free agency and the draft."

Oh, fuck you guys.