The Difference

This is a photo of Candice and Richard Lombardo of Palos Heights. Long story short, the duo went to the Sox final regaular season game (163) and bought scalped tickets...only to find out that they were fake. Down $150, the two of them shivered out in the parking lot as they listened to the roar of the crowd.

Eventually, the church-going parking attendants (that first part is important) went over one at a time and gave her $20 each out of pity amounting to (at least) $60 in goodwill. Hooray.

First of all, thank you SOMEONE for going against the grain of the public perception that all Sox fans are redneck retarded assholes. We're not. Some are actually "good people."

Second, just because I can't resist - what are the odds of something like this happening at Wrigley? First of all, she doesn't lose $150 on two tickets to game 163. She probably loses somewhere close to $300, and the tickets most likely were printed on crackers. Second, "Wrigley Field Parking Attendants?" I don't think so. I'll bet she breaks down and cries out on Waveland, and Ronnie Woo Woo brings attention to her ("Woo! Sad! Woo!") but pockets all of the cash that his shennanigans bring in.

Little did they all know that her son would grow up and change his name to Henry Rowengartner...

Cubs Continue to Acquire Players for New AAAA Ballclub

I think this just about says it all

In part of a $300 million offseason overhaul (which is being paid for by the morons who agreed to the $300 box seat tickets PER GAME this season), the Cubs figure to be more than just the default winners of the pathetic NL Central. They've upgraded at every position available...but wait, the Cubs aren't done yet! The Cubs apparently have an interest in Coco Crisp of the Boston Red Sox -- you know, the guy who lost his job to Jacoby Ellsbury?

"In the offseason, Crisp said, he heard trade rumors involving Minnesota, Texas and the Cubs."

So...where are they going to play him? Last I checked, the Cubs have a much cheaper version of Coco Crisp in Felix Pie (until they trade him to the Orioles, anyway), and Crisp didn't exactly play well last season in one of the AL's fattest lineups. Then again, as the Cubs offseason motto goes: "Even if you don't have a spot on your team for a major-league player, that doesn't mean you shouldn't acquire them."

That's right: the Cubs are putting together an entirely separate AAAA team and making you pay for it.

Look at their rotation: Zambrano, Lilly, Marquis, Hill, Lieber, Dempster (don't forget, he's being moved into the rotation this year), Marshall, and Angel Guzman. For those of you that lost count, that's EIGHT starting pitchers that are supposed to be vying for five spots. Hell, even the Cubs.com depth chart has seven starting pitchers listed!

The outfield (with the addition of Crisp) would put Pie on the bench along with the perpetually benched Matt Murton -- two guys that can (and should) be playing. Infield? The eventual addition of Brian Roberts pushes Mark DeRosa to the bench (unless he can play shortstop, which pushes Theriot to the bench) along with Cedeno, Fontenot and Ward.

Oh, and the bullpen? Please. Kerry Wood, Howry, Eyre, Marmol and Weurtz were the expected, but how many bullpen guys do you need? The Cubs also have: Ascaino, Pignatiello, Hart, Lahey, Gallagher, and Shingo Takatsu. I don't know about you, but I sure don't bring 11 relievers with me when the season starts.

For those of you keeping score at home:

C: Blanco (OK, the only REAL bench player here)
1B: Ward
2B: DeRosa
SS: Cedeno
3B: Fontenot
LF: Murton
CF: Pie
RF: The Ghost of Jacque Jones / Sam Fuld

SP: Marquis
SP: Marshall
SP: Guzman
SP: Myers (Acquired from Mets for Pagan)
SP: ?
RP: Gallagher
RP: Pignatiello
RP: Ascaino
RP: Hart
RP: Lahey
CL: Takatsu

If the Cubs get Crisp and Roberts, then they're only about four players away from finishing their master plan.

I wonder what they'll call their new AAAA squad...

64 Channels and Nothing On

Well the Cubs tv schedule has been released, and I now have the privilege of knowing just how many games I will get to watch in the comfort of my Brooklyn apartment. Would you like to know? I bet you would. Are you ready? Make sure you're paying attention.

Number of games in an MLB Season: 162

Number of games Aaron will get to see sitting on his couch: 5

No, seriously, how many games will Aaron get to see this year? 5

Come on, quit fucking around. I know he lives in another state, but it's the Cubs. They're a big market club and they're entering their 100th year without winning a championship. They're in the top 10 road attendance teams in all of sports every year. So now honestly. Tell me how many games: 5

This is one place where I feel that, although it will never happen, there should be a strike in baseball. With the amount of games there are in a baseball season, it is crazy that the structure of the league doesn't allow for viewers to view their teams outside of the market. It does get worse though. Let's say I did purchase the MLB package, which I've done before. That still doesn't allow me to watch 162 Cubs games. On FOX games, for example, unless I'm in Chicago I can't see the game. Even my purchase of $300+ worth of baseball watching doesn't allow me to watch certain games. Every other sport seems to have figured this out, but not baseball. No, they want to keep their steroids and their no salary cap and their enormous pickup trucks. Meanwhile out of town fans such as myself have to wait around for the 5 (five) times a year I get to watch my team play on television.

Actually, I guess it's 8 times if you count the 3 post season games we will lose.