The Reality of Getting Cutler

Well, he KINDA looks like Orton...

If you live in Chicago long enough, you learn that the only sports team in town to bag the big-name free agents (or make moves for big names) is the Cubs. The Sox haven't gotten a big name since Albert Belle, the Bulls haven't since Rodman (Jalen Rose does NOT count), and the Bears haven't offered a contract to any FA under 30 in my lifetime. As such, I am incredibly pessimistic about the Bears taking the slightest stab at Cutler.

Even so, the possibility would be great news. As Keggers pointed out yesterday, getting Cutler essentially equals us getting a free draft pick every year he's on the team (instead of wasting one on the Cade McNowns of the future), and opens the running game for Forte to go batshit crazy. So the real question is, REALISTICALLY, what would need to go down?

The Broncos are in need of a better defense, and any offensive weapons we can give to make Cutler's departure easier. Seeing as we don't have shit in the way of offense (Desmond Clark?), we're probably throwing in a high draft pick with the defensive player.

We have the following to work with:

Briggs: We love our linebackers, and Briggs is no exception. The Yin to Urlacher's Yang, he is what makes our defense tolerable on a regular basis. Seeing as the Broncos have Webster and nothing else, Briggs is a very attractive option.

Harris/Tillman: As much as Tillman is a pussy who gets hurt once a game in order to "bounce back," he can't keep up with the big boys. He gets burned by every WR1 in the league, and I won't miss him when he goes. Seeing as the Broncos have Champ Bailey and...um...Champ Bailey to deal with, Tillman would make their secondary almost respectable.

Corey Graham, Trumaine McBride, Nathan Vasher: These guys are "sort of the future." Frankly, I don't know what their role is on the team if Tillman or Harris go, but I would rather not trade "the youth" if it can be avoided. Also, these guys actualy have potential (instead of additional potential to suck), so they may actually have worth in a deal if packaged with a 1st or 2nd rounder.

Sports Need More Breasts

I got into Guinness because they're filled with mice

I'm probably going to get into trouble for this one, but after reading about the would-be-boxer who was banned for having breast implants, I'm starting to think that the universe is missing the point. Breasts make sports BETTER.

Case in point: Jenn Sterger

What's the biggest draw in sports right now? It sure as hell isn't the steroids. I think that Erin Andrews has a bigger fan base than A-Rod right now, and I'm pretty sure that it's not because of her ability to string two sentences together. Lisa Dergan, Jenn Sterger, and even Heidi Watney - all hired because they've got a nice rack. The same applies to Al Roker, John Madden, and every other lardass in the NFL booth. Breasts sell.

The draw doesn't stop on the sidelines, though - what about our attractive athletes? From Sharapova to Doug's unhealthy obsession with Gina Carano, there's more need for this than ever. Why do you think that women's volleyball players and divers, despite being immensely talented, get not noteriety? One word: aerodynamics.

Wait, she FIGHTS!? WHAT!?

Does anyone think that giving any one of those people breast implants will create a problem? In a non-contact sport like basketball or golf, I would be writing hate mail to the commish's office...but boxing is somewhat understandable. These women get punched a lot, and yeah, those things COULD explode and kill her.

...or she could just be "that really hot boxer with implants" who never has to actually succeed in her craft. Someone who just looks good despite having no actual talent...kinda like Anna Kournikova. Where's the harm in that?

It took me 20 minutes, and I still couldn't find a picture of her actually playing tennis.

If demanding more breasts in our sports and programming is too much, then this is a country I don't want a part of. Hell, the TPC watched the whole superbowl just to get to the porno. Up until this year, there was a Lingerie Bowl to watch large breasted women in minimal clothing "play rough." With the exception of the whole "we won't play at a nudist colony" thing (long story), it could have been the beginning of a much more promising XFL.

Until then, we wait.

THE END IS NEAR! RUN!

Do you hear that noise? It's like a tiny little murmur coming from the midwest...what could it be?

Give us a salary cap! We're tired of being outbid by the fucking Yankees!

What? It's like there's a fly in the room or something...I swear I heard something.

Hey asshole, enough with this bullshit East Coast outbidding everyone! Baseball should be affordable by every team!

Say! That sounds like a complaint coming from 50% OF MLB. That seems like a fair statement to listen to, don't you think?

With mid to low-market teams like the Brewers and Royals fuming that every interesting free agent is going to take the money, it's time for another push for a salary cap. And hey, this time it might work.

Word on the street seems to be that this latest Yankees spree has pissed off all of the more reasonable payrolls, and why wouldn't it? Half a billion dollars gone in three weeks is pretty impressive. Here's the spooky part from the article:

New York’s luxury tax payment—$26,862,702—was just $141,000 shy of the Florida Marlins’ entire 2008 payroll, which came to $27,003,450.

Not all that surprising. The collective bargaining agreement ends in 2011 after the season, meaning that unless the economy is magically revitalized, we may be looking at a legitimate push for a salary cap.

About. Fucking. Time.

If there was ever a problem with baseball, this is it - drafting players in a high round means nothing when they take a long time to develop. By the time a player is ready for the bigs, the team that owns him has MAYBE 2-3 years to enjoy it before his contract is up. By then, regardless of what the team can spend, you'll bet that the Cubs, Yankees, Red Sox, Rangers or Angels will double whatever your team can offer the player.

Why should some teams be able to spend more than others? Small market teams like the Royals shouldn't have to be fucked year in and year out because someone else can afford to pay more.

AL and NL central, consider this your time to shine.

Playoff Update 2 of 2: Sox

Can we take a second to talk about how ridiculous this is? The Sox take three MUST-WIN games in a row to the house and secure a playoff spot against Tampa. We live and die by the home run, and when it works, it WORKS. Oh, and if anyone saw the "Blackout" on TV, how ridiculous was that crowd? Creepy as hell if you ask me.

The Sox play their first game today against the Rays, with SUPERCLUTCH Javy Vazquez going against James Shields. I'm thrilled that the Sox aren't playing the Red Sox or the Angels, but the Rays are no pushovers. They're actually a lot like Minnesota - a bunch of role players that come together to make a great TEAM, rather than individual dominators and some dead weight (I'm looking at you, Boston).

That said, these are the four immediate questions on my mind as a Sox fan:

#1. Can Javy turn it around? When Ozzie said you choke in big games, he wasn't kidding. The last two starts where we needed you the most, you cost us both games singlehandedly. Against a team like the Rays, a 7 ER defecit spells defeat and some costly bullpen fatigue. Also, Shields has been particularly filthy at home, with an ERA under 3 (and he got stronger as the season progressed). Javy needs to keep the ball down, or we've already lost.

#2. How tired are Buerhle, Danks, and Floyd? All of them pitched late into their games on three days' rest - probably not ideal when you have to give them short rest AGAIN. Not much to say here, other than that Buerhle has been our best starter in the second half and is a total beast. I have the utmost confidence in him, and Danks/Floyd can take the homestand. Hopefully, there are no ill effects from the playoff push.

#3. Why don't we have the right backups? I mean, I know WHY we don't have an infield - Getz got hurt, Crede is out, Ozuna got cut, and Fields is a butcher in the field (who will likely make the roster for this sole purpose), but we really should have SOMEONE to play utility infield. To contrast, the outfield has Owens, Wise, Griffey, Anderson, Dye, and Swisher if need be. Griffey turned in a great throw that Anderson followed with a spectacular catch, but there's no reason to have 5-6 outfielders on a playoff roster. Likewise, why hasn't Swisher played...at all? Wise is nice for speed, but he's hardly an everyday player. Hopefully Swish gets some time in LF to show he still has some pop in the bat.

#4. Bullpen...? Not much to say here. If Linebrink and Dotel do what they did this past week, we're going to coast after the 7th. If they regress or get hurt, Matt Thornton will have his work cut out for him. At least Boone Logan looks to (finally) be headed back to the minors. Go work on that goatee, Boone.

SERIES OUTLOOK: SOX IN 5

Campaigning for Crede

Yo Joe!

I'm probably the only person in Chicago with this opinion, but here goes nothing:

If healthy at Spring Training, keep Joe Crede, and trade Josh Fields.

Before the hate mail comes, let me explain myself. First of all, who here has a problem with Crede? Yes, he has Boras for an agent and believes that he's entitled to more money. So what? Aren't all players doing that right now? And he has a bad back. Yes, I understand this. In fact, he finally had surgery this offseason to correct it (instead of his usual treatment of "trying harder"). He's not taking the Pods approach -- he's getting it fixed and then having sex with Lisa Dergan.

Here's what I can say for Joe: he is the most clutch ballplayer I have ever seen (take that, Jose Valentin). He brings his "A" game and provides that big hit when you need it most. Also, he's the best defensive 3B that the Sox have had in at least 20 years (minimum). Joe makes our defense twice as good just by being on the field. He can snare just about anything in a 14-foot radius. That's impressive. Hell, he even makes Juan Uribe look passable. We didn't turn all those double-plays in '05 by chance.

Fields has a lot of things going for him -- a cheap contract, youth, power, and...religious intent (to retire? Maybe). But Fields will never be the defensive monster Crede is. Fields a liability in the field (irony!), and we almost moved him to LF just to cut down on the errors. Being able to catch and throw the ball smoothly is half the battle.

In terms of batting, his numbers project to be similar to Crede's (with more power, perhaps -- Crede was only a 20-25 HR guy). Otherwise, Fields is no faster than Crede on the basepaths, and doesn't do anything else much better (except for strike out). Heck, he's not even that much younger than Joe (Joe is 29, Fields is 26!).

If you do some numbers crunching, you discover a horrible truth: Fields could easily be the second coming of Sammy Sosa. I'm not interested in seeing a Sox player hit 50 HR if he strikes out 250+ times. In 100 games last year, he struck out 125 times (in 373 ABs). Almost exactly 1/3 his total at-bats ended with a whiff. That's bad news. Joe didn't strike out 125 times in 2005 and 2006 COMBINED.

Am I trying to squash Fields? By no means! I'm rooting for him all the way. If the Sox hang on to him (and they probably will), I will cheer for him and watch him dominate bad pitching. I just think that Fields' value is going to change drastically this season, and you can't really know how until it happens. If he has a nice season owning 3B, then he becomes a great commodity -- it doesn't build too much on his current value, but it solidifies him on the team. However, if he can't find his swing, we have Brian Anderson/Joe Borchard all over again and have a problem worse than if Crede is just hurt. If he had proven himself at some level, he would still have value (like when Eric Chavez has a bad season and still gets a nice contract). Unfortunately for Josh, he's still just a rookie.

If Crede is healthy (with signs of remaining healthy), re-sign him to a long term deal. Incredibly risky, I know, but he would come WAY below what his value should be. Not only that, but in three years when players are making EVEN MORE, his contract will look cheap in comparison. Trade Fields to a team that needs youth at the position (maybe the Giants?) for a very good prospect crop. Then, spend 500k on a reserve infielder in case Crede has to miss time.

Most people think trading Crede is the best choice, but because his value is so low right now, we're not going to get more than a prospect for him (and not even a very good one at that). Why let some other team ride Crede for nothing when we have to start the question mark that is Josh Fields?

Re-sign Crede.

Best case scenario, you get a gold-glove clutch hitter on the cheap, and a future pitcher who could contribute in a few years when this pitching staff is dismantled. You lose the possibility of having a 3B who is as good as Crede. Worst case scenario, Crede can't rebound and Fields becomes the next Carlos Lee. You still get a top prospect for Fields, and you can always dump Crede later.

Do it, Kenny.