Giveaway!

The only nightmare you could have in this bed, is that it's yours...

Do you sleep?

Of course you do.

When was the last time you went shopping for new bed sets?

I bet it's been a while.

That's why we at the Dong would like to offer you a chance to win a fat gift certificate to CSN Stores (the fine company that supplies the aforementioned bedding products). Then you can go online and buy yourself that tonka truck bunkbed you've been eying since you got married...

All you have to do, is send us an email outlining which Chicago players wife or girlfriend you would like to take a nap with and why.

Some inspiration from Kristin Cavallari, Jay Cutler's current fling:

You may remember her from Laguna Beach or The Hills. If you do, then shame on you, that's some terrible television.

-KEG

Sports Need More Breasts

I got into Guinness because they're filled with mice

I'm probably going to get into trouble for this one, but after reading about the would-be-boxer who was banned for having breast implants, I'm starting to think that the universe is missing the point. Breasts make sports BETTER.

Case in point: Jenn Sterger

What's the biggest draw in sports right now? It sure as hell isn't the steroids. I think that Erin Andrews has a bigger fan base than A-Rod right now, and I'm pretty sure that it's not because of her ability to string two sentences together. Lisa Dergan, Jenn Sterger, and even Heidi Watney - all hired because they've got a nice rack. The same applies to Al Roker, John Madden, and every other lardass in the NFL booth. Breasts sell.

The draw doesn't stop on the sidelines, though - what about our attractive athletes? From Sharapova to Doug's unhealthy obsession with Gina Carano, there's more need for this than ever. Why do you think that women's volleyball players and divers, despite being immensely talented, get not noteriety? One word: aerodynamics.

Wait, she FIGHTS!? WHAT!?

Does anyone think that giving any one of those people breast implants will create a problem? In a non-contact sport like basketball or golf, I would be writing hate mail to the commish's office...but boxing is somewhat understandable. These women get punched a lot, and yeah, those things COULD explode and kill her.

...or she could just be "that really hot boxer with implants" who never has to actually succeed in her craft. Someone who just looks good despite having no actual talent...kinda like Anna Kournikova. Where's the harm in that?

It took me 20 minutes, and I still couldn't find a picture of her actually playing tennis.

If demanding more breasts in our sports and programming is too much, then this is a country I don't want a part of. Hell, the TPC watched the whole superbowl just to get to the porno. Up until this year, there was a Lingerie Bowl to watch large breasted women in minimal clothing "play rough." With the exception of the whole "we won't play at a nudist colony" thing (long story), it could have been the beginning of a much more promising XFL.

Until then, we wait.

Can we?

The Hawks come to town to play the Bulls tonight, and I can't say I'm looking forward to it. Not because we're going to lose (per se...) but because it's going to be a really REALLY boring game to watch.

The Bulls really like to play two kinds of teams - teams that are one-dimensionally offensive, or teams that are just plain bad. These kinds of teams bring out the best in the Bulls, and make them watchable. The Hawks are neither of these, as they have what could be considered the most staunch defense in the NBA (and are all about "fundamentals"). Their average opponent score is somewhere around 85 (they held New Orleans to an embarrassing 79 points!).

Worse, their offense isn't quite "there" as Mike Bibby can only do so much, and their big new force in Josh Smith will probably miss the game with a high ankle sprain. Joe Johnson will do his best to fill in, but you really can't expect them to break 85 tonight.

As for us, we all know Hinrich is out for a few months which means Rose will be seeing a LOT of playing time from here on forward. Here's hoping that we get it down tonight, and win in some sort of exciting fashion (I hope).

Also, here's a pic of a Hawks cheerleader because it's Tuesday...or something like that. Any excuse, right?

Hooray for boobies!

If you click on the picture, it will get bigger (unlike the TPC's manhood).

Thanks to our friends at With Leather, we were made aware of a contest over at Puckthathit.com to rank the hottest ice girls across the NHL. As of right now, the Ice Girls from Chicago are in 1st place with 21% of all votes.

This reminds me of the LovaBulls post from a while back... yeaaaargh. -shudders-



YUMMY!!

Warm up!

Brotherly love in the trough at Wrigley

Whenever I think about complaining about the NY cold, I remember how frigid the temperatures get in Chicago. I mean, it is absolutely freeze your nipples off cold in the winter. Cars don't start, shoveling becomes a daily routine and all of the homeless people put on Cubs jerseys so they go with the team to Arizona for spring training. Usually, a few of these guys end up making the team too.

As I look forward to baseball season (is it even worth looking forward to?) I realize that a) the fucking Giants are in the superbowl and I can't even look forward to one more game of football. Hell, this might be the worst superbowl ever. Can't really root for either team. I just hope there are a lot of camera pans to Giselle. And Archie. Mmmmmm...Archie. And b) The Bulls suck a fat dick. They're not getting better and we've got a lot of contracts to negotiate (read: everyone is leaving).

So, with nothing going on for a few months and in the sake of team spirit, I present some hotties to warm you up during the cold and bleak offseason. Enjoy:

As much as I hate the Cubs, you gotta love their fans:

Note the incongruous Sox fans at 1:49 and 3:03.