Decisions Decisions

This came out looking like some sort of retarded flag.

With football season just around the bend, it's time to face facts: we're not going to be getting anyone other than Orton or Grossman to lead these troops downfield. Favre is going to stay in Green Bay or go to Minnesota - we're not really in the running for this one.

So, between our two "leaders," which one do we want to win the job? Let's have a look at the candidates:

Rex Grossman:

Pro: Rex knows this offense. He worked it to a T in 2006, and made himself the first relevant Bears QB since Jim Miller was a tolerable bye-week option in Fantasy Football. He has the best arm of either QB, and when he steps into his throws, can be relatively accurate as well. Rex likes to use the TE's on the team, which is (sadly) one of our better recieving options, and can occasionally engineer a drive by himself. Rex is also in the midst of a contract year, so it wouldn't be surprising to see a burst of intelligence and poise. He's got a lot going in his favor this year, too. Vote Rex in '08.

Con: Rex knows this offense...and by "knows the offense," I mean "had sex with it." If there's anyone who can fuck a season (or anything, for that matter), it's Rex. Wounded ducks, the retarded ostrich, and of course, "Fuck it - I'm throwing it downfield." If you ever want to see an offense self-destruct as quickly as it can, put Rex at the helm. The Sex Cannon ignores targets on the short route, totally misses the deep routes, and he won't have Berrian to catch up to his turds this year. Oh, and did I mention that he's injury prone?

Kyle Orton:

Pro: Everyone who reads this blog knows my throughts on Orton. He's younger, faster, and neckbeard-ier than Grossman will ever be. He's not afraid to do exactly what Ron Turner wants, and as a result, he may be the shining hope that will finally get Turner's ass fired. Orton has solid pocket presence, has some ability to scramble, and has shown significant improvement every year. He's not going to be a 300+ yard 2 TD+ player. Hell, you'll be lucky for 150 yards and a TD, but his conservative style helps keep the ball moving instead of turning it over every 3rd down. Did I mention he has a career record of 12-6 (including the 2-1 he went last year)? Vote Kyle in 08.

Con: Jesus Christ, people! It's KYLE ORTON! If getting drunk were a sport, I'd make Orton my first-rounder (after Robert Downey Jr. and Courtney Love), but as an actual QB? Let's be serious for a minute. I don't think the guy has ever topped 250 yards in a game, I don't think he's ever thrown 2 TDs in a game (intentionally), and he routinely maintains a QB rating of about 60. He's even less accurate than Grossman on the deep routes, and doesn't have the arm strength to back it up. At least Grossman has upside.


So, who've you got?

Bears are bringing Sexy Back

The Sex Cannon hath returneth.

I don't care what anyone else thinks, this is the best move the Bears could have made this entire offseason. Everyone knows I've got wood for Rex, but there is actually some logic behind this gay crush (and not just "he let me pitch once").

We just cut Moose, we're going to draft/sign some O-line help and our D has another good year (at least) in em. What makes more sense? Bringing back Griese? Starting Orton? Signing a rookie? A free agent? I'd rather take my chances with someone who knows the offense, has the talent and is young enough to hold the job for a few years if he can prove himself. Oh yeah, I almost forgot that he also happened to take us to the Superbowl not too long ago.

The best part is that he's only costing us $2M, leaving room to use Orton as the 2 string and STILL potentially sign McNabb (although he is looking increasingly unavailable- which may have spurred this move in the first place...).

This also justifies bringing Berrian back (who is 10X more valuable with The Cannon under center). Rex also has experience with Mark Bradley while being playing with the second team who has the size and hands to replace Moose as a great possession and short yardage receiver.

Grossman's contract is also incentive laden, so if he sucks, we pay almost nothing and can go another direction next year. It also removes the safety net he played with the last few seasons and forces him to produce under pressure, which is essential to his success anyway.

This is a great move by Bears management, and in 3 years we can all look back and joke about how close Rex was to getting cut. I can barely fathom the number of throwgasms we have yet to experience!