Sunday, June 19, 2011

About that last post...

Losing a season of Derrick Rose in his prime would be like destroying a Mozart symphony before anyone had ever had a chance to hear it.

I could watch this all day:

Into the Void

It's finally here.

Hell on earth.

After an incredible past 2 months, the best NBA season in the past decade is now officially over and a compelling NHL playoff run just ended with the Bruins winning the cup for the first time in 39 years.

Every sports fan knows about the annual sports gap (the 2-3 month period between the NBA playoffs / NHL playoffs and the start of the NFL season and MLB playoffs). Normally, this period is broken up by the NBA draft in June and occasionally the summer Olympics will pitch in to keep people from going insane.

This year is the bleakest sports void in recent history:

1) The 2011 NBA draft sucks monkey balls. This is the worst draft I can remember since 2000 (top 5 picks: Kenyon Martin, Stromile Swift, Darius Miles, Marcus Fizer, Mike Miller). Nobody gives a shit. Oh, and a bunch of small-market teams that might not exist in a year have all the top picks.

2) No Olympics or USA basketball.

3) The NFL dispute will force the 2012 season to be cancelled or at best shortened.

4) The NBA is facing a lockout in 2012.

That leaves us with the possibility of NO FUCKING SPORTS until the World Series and then baseball AGAIN next spring.

As a fan, I'm pretty tired of being shit on all the time. I don't want to spend $75 to go to a game for shitty seats with no view, get overcharged for parking, concessions and merchandise all while having to sit next to a bunch of animals and spend hours in transit. The NBA/NFL is a product- you have to make it worthwhile for people to spend the money.

With alternatives becoming more and more appealing (HDTV, 3D TV, etc) these owners are facing fierce competition to fill their ridiculously large/overpriced new stadiums and match their projected revenue (which, like the assumptions that caused the housing crisis and market collapse, owners assumed that fans would keep spending more and more money forever, sheep being sheep, regardless of anything. And like the housing crises, the general public / fans are the ones who are going to get screwed).

The NBA is in a tough spot - recent negotiations gave the players too much leverage and now even good owners who field a competitive product still lose money (see the Spurs). This will require a significant overhaul and possibly contraction/re-location. Not pretty and will not be resolved quickly.

The NFL issue is all about greed. Owners and players are making money hand over fist and their going to fight about each penny until everyone loses out. There is no right side here (although the players deserve better protection and long term health care, since they give up like 30 years of their life to play in the NFL), I'm pretty sure everyone can go fuck themselves.

So, here we are. Welcome to the desert of the real. Feel free to send in suggestions on how to fill the void. Right now, I'm leaning towards extreme fly fishing and ESPN Classic.

Alternatively, I might just kill myself. Or Jerry Jones.


Sweet Kyuss cover.


Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Gambling Like the Pros

When you play in poker tournaments, you generally are looking for the weak link. The guy that sweats, the guy you can read, and the one who clearly doesn't have it in him to stay awake for the long haul and really just needs to go home before he falls asleep on the table. There's all kinds of faces, and frankly, with only baseball left to watch, I gotta do something to keep my brain awake.

In the world of poker, your Chicago White Sox rotation lines up something like this:

The Old Man: Mark Buerhle
There's always some guy who's a legit veteran. You think his eyesight is going. You think he doesn't have what it takes anymore. For all you know, he's got Alzheimer's and he forgot where he is. Even so, you respect the hell out of him based on reputation alone, and you never take your eyes off him. He's a snake in the grass, waiting to strike at a moment of weakness.

The Bluffer: Edwin Jackson
You've got a guy who doesn't even know what his cards are, but he feels he's gotta be in there. Gotta play the hand, gotta get in there, and come on strong. In baseball, the guy can throw crazy breaking pitches and laser beam fastballs, but without the precision and control, it's just as risky.

The Random: Phil Humber
There's always a guy at the final table who has a huge chip lead, but you just don't know how the hell he got there. Most likely going to get taken for a ride by a wily vet, this guy just might surprise you. When you play poker online you're even more likely to find this guy just hoarding cash and jerking off at the same time.

Monday, June 13, 2011

No Sympathy For The Devil

Still doesn't care...

3 new facts:

1) Chris Bosh is a stud. Most consistent player throughout the playoffs, played big when it mattered and was clutch on both ends of the floor. Bill Simmons can eat his words. Also, this makes me at least want to like him:

2) Dirk is now in the discussion for #2 PF of all time. He just leapfrogged Barkley, is neck and neck with Malone (slight edge for winning a ring as the best player on his own team) and isn't too far behind Duncan (needs a repeat). I would have barely put him in the top 7 or 8 before the season.

3) LeBron is exactly who we thought he was. He's been the golden child since he was 13 years old with nothing but adulation and adoration his entire career (life?). He's always been able to do whatever he wants, however and whenever he wants - everyone else is just lucky to live in his world. He coasts, he whines, he quits and he's petty. He is a man-child (albeit an exceptionally talented one), and we the fans/media created him. We should not be surprised to see his essentially absent performance in games 5 and 6 reflect his own untouchable, infallible concept of himself (if he's not losing the games personally, then he's not a loser).

I don't care that he's missing some of the key traits you tend to see in a real champion (killer instinct), it's his lack of self-awareness that drives me crazy. The guy has no conception of how absurd his persona has become.

Sidenote: I predict a huge wave of LeBron fans as part of a counter-culture movement next season ("I love that guy! He's all like fuck you, I'll play where I want and how I want, you can all kiss my ass. He's so anti establishment!"). Right now, he's basically the nWo-version of Hulk Hogan and he's selling the hell out of it (and we're eating it up)...