Didn't know Justin Beiber and JC share clothing...
I wasn't going to comment on this whole wedding breakup story (because it's asinine) but get a load of this:
So how was his relationship with former fiancee Kristin? “Kristin would call Jay a loser and a p**sy, and she’d scream it at him so everyone could hear. They would have fights about Jay being too conceited. They would also argue over how mean he was to people. She would make a point of saying hello to people in the hall, just to piss him off,” our insider laughingly tells us.
In January, they got into a big blow-out argument after Jay injured his knees during the NFL playoffs. He was diagnosed with a MCL sprain. “Kristin called Jay out, saying she thought he was faking the injury and told him he was worthless.”
If I'm the superstar franchise QB of the historic Chicago Bears, do I really need to listen to this verbal diarrhea from a 3rd rate reality TV castoff? I'm not saying JC has the right to be an asshole to everyone but he certainly doesn't need to come home from a long day at work, mostly comprised of 300 pound men trying to tear his limbs off for 3 hours, and get called "a worthless conceited pussy" by anyone, let alone some unaccomplished attention whore.
No doubt JC is a crappy boyfriend (human being?). I mean, look at this face:
He just found out he got a $50M contract.
Yawn.
He may be all the adjectives listed above but being exceptionally rich and famous generally allows you to create your own reality - including one without a nagging, ball-busting wife. (Yes, life is ultimately unfair. Sorry.)
Weakens offensive bench versatility (does it really?)
Lose Type A FA in Jackson
Didn't get more for them
All in all, this is a great deal. The Sox bullpen is now truly filthy (Sale-Thornton-Frasor-Santos-Crain...holy shit), and Omar Vizquel was a better platoon partner than Teahen anyways. The move also allows the Sox to keep Lillibridge on the roster (also better than Teahen) while taking a free roll of the dice on Stewart.
The biggest "risk" here is that we lose offensive pop at 3B - it's between Vizquel and Morel now, and honestly, Teahen wasn't doing much there anyways. I would rather have the rock-solid defense. No one remembers, but the 2005 White Sox didn't exactly have a power offense either. 2 runs is enough to win a game if the pitching is there.
The real question is what does Kenny do with Quentin? He's on a hot streak right now, and this is probably the highest his value is going to get. The Phillies have also been drooling over him. The Sox have a 2012 option on him too, so it's not just a quickie rental for an interested team. Lillibridge can fill in while Viciedo heals, and then it's time for the Tank to get some at-bats. Not sure what we would get, but I suspect it would also be a cash-freeing move.
Let's take a minute to realize what's going on here:
#1. The Cubs are terrible, the NL Central is a joke, and the PIRATES are in first place. Ergo, there will be no more Cubs discussion this year. Expect Fukudome to be traded along with Marlon Byrd and whatever else can get jettisoned.
#2. The AL Central is a crapshoot. Despite a hot start, the Indians have given way to the Tigers (1.5 game lead), who are only 4 games ahead of the Sox and 6 games ahead of the Twins. This is really anybody's game except for the Royals, who haven't been a factor in 20 years.
#3. The Sox have yet to get above .500.
So really, we have a lot of work to do before we can start talking about how the Sox are still "in it."
The major problems we have had are that money is being invested in abysmal performances. Dunn, Rios, and Teahen were all supposed to be worth their paychecks. Dunn was projected to hit over 40 HRs, Rios to have a .270 BA, and Teahen to bring some lumber. How's that working out for us? Oh yeah - it's pretty bad.
The other thing is that we're pretty stacked with these bad performances. It's one thing when you've got bad players making big money, it's another when they're blocking good youth from playing. Currently, everyone is stroking themselves numb about Viciedo and De Aza and we frankly have no room to bring them up. We have Brent Morel splitting time with Teahen, and Lillibridge fighting Quentin for playing time.
And we can't trade anyone.
Oh yes, we have holes to fill. We need a better CF. We need a better catcher (I like AJ, but come on). We need a better RF, and we can put whatever's left at DH. But let's face it, Dunn and Rios cannot be moved. Even if you bench them for the rest of the season, you need to trade pieces to make room for them.
The only possible pieces I can see the Sox moving are Quentin and Edwin Jackson. Jackson became expendable when Humber came to life (at a fraction of the cost), and Quentin seems to have peaked. I mean, yeah, the guy can carry you when he's hot, but when was the last time that happened? Quentin should be filling the role of DH or LF on a team, not RF.
Let's do a hypothetical here. Let's say that the Braves make a move for Quentin, and the Sox get some prospects. Viciedo gets the call up, plays RF. Is that actually better than Quentin starting there?
(Hank Willis Thomas, Something to Stand on: The Third Leg, 2007, Courtesy the artist and Jack Shainman Gallery, New York)
My buddy Horse sent me this picture from the Warhol museum in Pittsburgh - apparently, they have an exhibit open now on masculinity and sports and this is one of the pieces of art on display.
Um, are you kidding me? Number one, this shit isn't art (or you can call us "artists" for making up our logo 2 years earlier) and number two, this fucking Hank Thomas guy is straight up stealing our shit.
/quick google search on Hank Willis Thomas
Can we get sue for a billion in royalties? I bet that museum makes at least like, $100, and we would settle for somewhere in the $5-10 range (exponentially increasing our current revenue from this website). I'd also make a deal to settle for no cash but our "piece" gets a spot in the exhibit... it's only fair.
After an incredible past 2 months, the best NBA season in the past decade is now officially over and a compelling NHL playoff run just ended with the Bruins winning the cup for the first time in 39 years.
Every sports fan knows about the annual sports gap (the 2-3 month period between the NBA playoffs / NHL playoffs and the start of the NFL season and MLB playoffs). Normally, this period is broken up by the NBA draft in June and occasionally the summer Olympics will pitch in to keep people from going insane.
This year is the bleakest sports void in recent history:
1) The 2011 NBA draft sucks monkey balls. This is the worst draft I can remember since 2000 (top 5 picks: Kenyon Martin, Stromile Swift, Darius Miles, Marcus Fizer, Mike Miller). Nobody gives a shit. Oh, and a bunch of small-market teams that might not exist in a year have all the top picks.
2) No Olympics or USA basketball.
3) The NFL dispute will force the 2012 season to be cancelled or at best shortened.
4) The NBA is facing a lockout in 2012.
That leaves us with the possibility of NO FUCKING SPORTS until the World Series and then baseball AGAIN next spring.
As a fan, I'm pretty tired of being shit on all the time. I don't want to spend $75 to go to a game for shitty seats with no view, get overcharged for parking, concessions and merchandise all while having to sit next to a bunch of animals and spend hours in transit. The NBA/NFL is a product- you have to make it worthwhile for people to spend the money.
With alternatives becoming more and more appealing (HDTV, 3D TV, etc) these owners are facing fierce competition to fill their ridiculously large/overpriced new stadiums and match their projected revenue (which, like the assumptions that caused the housing crisis and market collapse, owners assumed that fans would keep spending more and more money forever, sheep being sheep, regardless of anything. And like the housing crises, the general public / fans are the ones who are going to get screwed).
The NBA is in a tough spot - recent negotiations gave the players too much leverage and now even good owners who field a competitive product still lose money (see the Spurs). This will require a significant overhaul and possibly contraction/re-location. Not pretty and will not be resolved quickly.
The NFL issue is all about greed. Owners and players are making money hand over fist and their going to fight about each penny until everyone loses out. There is no right side here (although the players deserve better protection and long term health care, since they give up like 30 years of their life to play in the NFL), I'm pretty sure everyone can go fuck themselves.
So, here we are. Welcome to the desert of the real. Feel free to send in suggestions on how to fill the void. Right now, I'm leaning towards extreme fly fishing and ESPN Classic.
Alternatively, I might just kill myself. Or Jerry Jones.
When you play in poker tournaments, you generally are looking for the weak link. The guy that sweats, the guy you can read, and the one who clearly doesn't have it in him to stay awake for the long haul and really just needs to go home before he falls asleep on the table. There's all kinds of faces, and frankly, with only baseball left to watch, I gotta do something to keep my brain awake.
In the world of poker, your Chicago White Sox rotation lines up something like this:
The Old Man: Mark Buerhle
There's always some guy who's a legit veteran. You think his eyesight is going. You think he doesn't have what it takes anymore. For all you know, he's got Alzheimer's and he forgot where he is. Even so, you respect the hell out of him based on reputation alone, and you never take your eyes off him. He's a snake in the grass, waiting to strike at a moment of weakness.
The Bluffer: Edwin Jackson
You've got a guy who doesn't even know what his cards are, but he feels he's gotta be in there. Gotta play the hand, gotta get in there, and come on strong. In baseball, the guy can throw crazy breaking pitches and laser beam fastballs, but without the precision and control, it's just as risky.
The Random: Phil Humber
There's always a guy at the final table who has a huge chip lead, but you just don't know how the hell he got there. Most likely going to get taken for a ride by a wily vet, this guy just might surprise you. When you play poker online you're even more likely to find this guy just hoarding cash and jerking off at the same time.
1) Chris Bosh is a stud. Most consistent player throughout the playoffs, played big when it mattered and was clutch on both ends of the floor. Bill Simmons can eat his words. Also, this makes me at least want to like him:
2) Dirk is now in the discussion for #2 PF of all time. He just leapfrogged Barkley, is neck and neck with Malone (slight edge for winning a ring as the best player on his own team) and isn't too far behind Duncan (needs a repeat). I would have barely put him in the top 7 or 8 before the season.
3) LeBron is exactly who we thought he was. He's been the golden child since he was 13 years old with nothing but adulation and adoration his entire career (life?). He's always been able to do whatever he wants, however and whenever he wants - everyone else is just lucky to live in his world. He coasts, he whines, he quits and he's petty. He is a man-child (albeit an exceptionally talented one), and we the fans/media created him. We should not be surprised to see his essentially absent performance in games 5 and 6 reflect his own untouchable, infallible concept of himself (if he's not losing the games personally, then he's not a loser).
I don't care that he's missing some of the key traits you tend to see in a real champion (killer instinct), it's his lack of self-awareness that drives me crazy. The guy has no conception of how absurd his persona has become.
Sidenote: I predict a huge wave of LeBron fans as part of a counter-culture movement next season ("I love that guy! He's all like fuck you, I'll play where I want and how I want, you can all kiss my ass. He's so anti establishment!"). Right now, he's basically the nWo-version of Hulk Hogan and he's selling the hell out of it (and we're eating it up)...
We're here to tell you what WE think. Not what you think, not what Jay Mariotti thinks, and certainly not what ESPN thinks. We swear, we use caps lock, and we generally use pictures that would inspire discussion in prisons.
If you're one of those people that works in an office where your boss is constantly looking over your shoulder, maybe a gigantic representation of Luol Deng's third leg is just what the doctor ordered.
You have been warned.
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