Do you know who you're talking to?

Didn't know Justin Beiber and JC share clothing...

I wasn't going to comment on this whole wedding breakup story (because it's asinine) but get a load of this:

So how was his relationship with former fiancee Kristin? “Kristin would call Jay a loser and a p**sy, and she’d scream it at him so everyone could hear. They would have fights about Jay being too conceited. They would also argue over how mean he was to people. She would make a point of saying hello to people in the hall, just to piss him off,” our insider laughingly tells us.

In January, they got into a big blow-out argument after Jay injured his knees during the NFL playoffs. He was diagnosed with a MCL sprain. “Kristin called Jay out, saying she thought he was faking the injury and told him he was worthless.”

If I'm the superstar franchise QB of the historic Chicago Bears, do I really need to listen to this verbal diarrhea from a 3rd rate reality TV castoff? I'm not saying JC has the right to be an asshole to everyone but he certainly doesn't need to come home from a long day at work, mostly comprised of 300 pound men trying to tear his limbs off for 3 hours, and get called "a worthless conceited pussy" by anyone, let alone some unaccomplished attention whore.

No doubt JC is a crappy boyfriend (human being?). I mean, look at this face:

He just found out he got a $50M contract.

Yawn.

He may be all the adjectives listed above but being exceptionally rich and famous generally allows you to create your own reality - including one without a nagging, ball-busting wife. (Yes, life is ultimately unfair. Sorry.)

Hey, at least we signed Roy Williams!

-KEG

Um...

Yes Jay, that's where your brain supposedly resides.

I was all set to completely exonerate Jay Cutler in my post today.

Somewhere in the third quarter, I thought: "shit, he's not getting any help and some fluky plays are making his stats looks a lot worse than they are." Hester fell down on a deep route that got picked off, Desmond Clark clearly got bumped on what should have been a PI penalty for another INT and Hester ran into the ref on an underneath crossing route that got picked off... That makes 3 fluky INT's, not really Cutler's fault and totally drive-killing.

So in the 4th quarter, I was pretty sure redemption would be spelled J-A-Y, driving quickly and efficiently downfield and in scoring position with enough time for 3-4 throws to the end zone.

Then...

BAM!

I don't give a shit how many good excuses there were for throwing 5 INT's. Most people will forgive one bad red zone INT (like his first one early in the game) but a GAME ENDING LAST MINUTE PICK, DOWN BY 4 TO END THE GAME AND CAP OFF A 5 INT DAY? Winners don't do that. That shit isn't supposed to happen to franchise QB's. This is very troublesome.

Hence, I will not exonerate Jay Cutler. I am legitimately concerned about his ability to lead our team and win football games. No doubt he has the talent to be a top QB but the intangibles are missing. His constant sulking and general lack of emotion (or any sense of gravitas) make me want to punch him in the fucking face.

Get pissed once in a while. Show some fire. Get pumped up. Even Peyton gets amped up once in a while. We should all pray that he doesn't end up like Jeff George, the most talented shitty QB of all time... just writing that sentence makes me want to kill myself.

Go Bears?

-KEG

Just Fucking Kill Me

Strong-armed mopey bitch

Revenge, served cold by CedB

Well, shit.

It turns out our offensive line can't pass block. This wasn't obvious in the past few seasons when we ran the ball 30x/game and threw nothing but short passes and screens. In trying to protect Cutler for more than 2-3 seconds this season, it's become painfully obvious.

Hence, we need to establish the run early. Even at less than 4 yards/carry, it's important to get Forte warmed up and keep the line fresh. It takes a lot more energy to pass protect than to run block and our line is old as shit (and mostly crippled). This also sets up a plausible play-action pass (which thus far, has been as unrealistic as TPC lasting more than than 2 pumps).

I hate pointing fingers as football is really a team game and everyone is responsible but a lot of shit stems from our bad O-line. Forte looks like crap and isn't getting opportunities, Cutler is getting beat up and facing lots of double coverage and our defense spends a lot of time on the field. And without Urlacher/Harris, that's not a good situation.

Some quick notes:

1) Hester will make a great second WR for the Bears once we get a big physical target for Cutler.

2) What happened to Nathan Vasher? Remember when he was good?

3) Carson Palmer is a really good QB when healthy.

4) Cedric Benson looks like the real deal. I want to be happy for the guy, but when you try to rub it in going for 200 yards in the 4th quarter, you're dead to me.

5) I'm happy we have Gaines Adams but we have no high picks next year in a REALLY deep draft.

A question: Are we rooting for Favre in GB next weekend? I think my head is going to explode.

-KEG

Hey Seattle, Tell Me How My Ass Tastes

Those Junior Mints never stood a chance

What's that? Another touchdown to Devin Hester? Another game where Cutler engineered a comeback through a deadly offensive drive built around plays more than 5 yards apiece? Take THAT, Kyle Orton. I love the Neckbeard as much as the next man, but there's no way that he could have engineered a drive like that.

What, you're wondering where we've been all this time? Look - I know we've been lax. I know that our coverage is like a small drop of Preparation H on the raging hemorrhoids that is Chicago sports. We do what we can, when we can. For longtime readers, you know that things such as work, prison, and gay pride parades can come between us and the Dong. It happens - let's just get on with our lives.

Here's a few things about the game you may not have noticed:

The Bears have three receivers not named Olsen or Forte:
For the first time that I can remember, the Bears have three legitimate receiving threats not playing the TE position. Sure, Olsen and Clark can still catch, but they're not the main show anymore. Between Hester, Bennett, and Knox, the Bears have three fast receivers with enough fundamentals to make opposing teams worry. Cutler's ability to get them the ball makes opposing teams pull off defenders to make sure the Bears don't get open. This should open the running game, but...

Forte is giving me bad memories of Benson:
The Cedric Benson "twinkletoes" when waiting for a hole are back. You know the ones I'm talking about - receive the ball on a handoff, and dance in place for 1-2 seconds on your toes before charging the hole. I don't know if Forte is hurt (I doubt it) or just facing some sort of tentativeness, but he needs to hit the hole harder and faster than he is right now. With Cutler keeping defenses honest, there's no reason he shouldn't be shredding defenses right now.

The Bears defense is only going downhill from here:
Seriously now - I love the Bears as much as the next guy, but this defensive unit is going to give me heart-attacks. They're still the "takeaways" unit that everyone has come to expect, but when Julius Jones is able to decimate you the way he did Sunday (missed tackles and all), there's a serious problem. Throw in Hillenmeyer's injury (we're now on our third linebacker in three weeks?) and things will only get worse.

The Seahawks can't intimidate looking like that:
Seriously? I thought that the Mighty Ducks had done a football spinoff or some shit. Use the Flying V!

That could have gone better

/looks for Earl Bennett

For 25% of last night's game, Jay Cutler looked like the answer. For the other three quarters, he looked like a harder-throwing version of Rex Grossman. After watching the Bears snatch defeat from the jaws of victory last night, I'm sure many of you are already wringing your hands about the Bears' season.

Don't.

Even though Cutler made some piss-poor decisions (most of which involve completely ignoring Greg Olsen on plays where he was wide open to try and force the ball to Bennett), it's not like he single-handedly cost us the game. In fact, his 3rd quarter performance was what kept us IN the game if anything. Cutler looked sharp going 6/7 in the quarter netting us a TD and FG positioning while eating the clock.

When things worked, they worked remarkably well. The Bears D, for example, got throught a tough Packers line to keep pressure on Rodgers (even after injuries to Urlacher and crew), and managed to snuff out Greg Jennings and Donald Driver for the majority of the game...save for the one play that mattered (yes, I know). Earl Bennett looked like he could really step up as the possession guy on this team, and Hester looked like he really HAS made strides as a receiver. Hell, even Knox contributed big on throws Orton never would have made.

Aside from the mysterious punt-fake-run and Jennings' TD, the real glaring issues were:

Lack of commitment to the run, let alone Forte:
If we don't run the ball, expect to see more nights like last night. Forte was used only when Cutler's arm got tired, or to set up a better FG kick on 3rd down. In the passing game, he was nonexistant. This is a guy who is capable of catching over 50 balls a year - give him the rock.

Bennett is not the only receiver on the team:
As much as my fantasy team approves, there are more receiving options on the field than Bennett. Cutler played "Bizarro Orton" last night, refusing to throw the ball UNDER 10 yards. As a result, Forte and Olsen were largely ignored. If the Pack got wise to Bennett (he was thrown to in quadruple coverage at one point), you have to figure the Steelers will make us pay.

At least he's not Jake Delhomme:
You know what? For a 1st-start against a tough defense, I'm not running from my TV set screaming. Yet.

It's Not a Toomer

If there's any team that needs help at wideout, it's the Bears. Amani Toomer is a lot of things: he's the New York Giants' all-time leader in receptions, he's consistent, and for some reason, the Bears are interested in acquiring him.

And they're about to make a horrible mistake.

Even though Toomer seems to fit on paper, there are dozens of reasons that he just doesn't belong on this team. Here are five:

#1. He's at the end of his career.

Toomer isn't the same guy who caught 60+ passes every season from 1999 to 2005. It's been 12 years in the league for Toomer, and he's spent all 12 with the Giants. You can't teach an old dog new tricks, and if you're going to bring in Toomer and expect him to be the WR1 the Bears need, you are all sorts of wrong.

Even in New York where the receivers were plagued with injuries (David Tyree) and stupidity (Plaxico Burress), Toomer was slowly but surely phased out of the offense. A measly 48 receptions highlights this, along with a disappointing average of 2.9 Yards After the Catch.

There's a reason that he's been receiving little to no interest as a Free Agent. Oh, and did I mention that he's going to be 35 at the start of the season?

#2. He doesn't fill our need.

The Bears obviously wanted Torry Holt (they even went through the trouble of signing Orlando Pace to lure him in), but Holt went to the Jaguars. Instead of looking for another player with the qualities of Holt, the Bears went to look for a player that's even older.

Torry Holt is not only a veteran presence, but he runs sharp routes with excellent hands. Holt may not have the speed anymore, but he can do the rest. Toomer is definately a veteran presence, but he just doesn't get the rest done. If you want an older player to sit there and be old, give a contract to Cade McNown or even Curtis Enis - I hear they're both available.

#3. He blocks our youth.

One of the most exciting things about the Bears this season was the fact that our offense has a youthful core. Cutler, Hester, Forte and Olsen are all poised to be a young and exciting group that plays off each other for years to come. Throwing in Toomer looks more like a rent-a-player than grooming the rest of the talent.

Players like Earl Bennett and Brandon Rideau both have a great chance to make an impact on this team; signing Toomer will almost surely result in a two-year deal that blocks both of them. Haven't we been down this path before with Mushin Muhammad?

#4. We can do so much better.

Plaxico Burress, Marvin Harrison, and Brandon Lloyd are all on the market, and all have been infinitely more effective that Toomer in recent years. Brandon Lloyd made some amazing catches for the Bears (under Kyle Orton, no less), Harrison showed that he still has some juice left, and Plaxico has proven that even though he's an idiot, he can account for an entire team's offense.

Also, there's this "Anquan Boldin" fellow who I hear is not only the best receiver in all of football, but he's very eager to get out of Arizona. If this isn't a match made in heaven, I don't know what is.

#5. Eli Manning is better than Kyle Orton.

This is really the most damning reason of all: Eli Manning has been everything the Giants could have wanted over the past few seasons. Competent, good pocket presence, and a relatively accurate passer. To contrast, the Bears had the living nightmare of Rex Grossman and Kyle Orton splitting time last season.

The difference between Rashied Davis and Amani Toomer in 2008? 13 receptions and 100+ yards - the equivalent of two weeks that Davis missed (week 15 and week 16). You don't bring in a name-player to become the worst receiver on the team.

Cutler has the potential to make the Bears a legitimate contender. He's one of the top five QBs in the league, and he improves the skills of everyone around him (Brandon Marshall is not going to be a happy camper next season).

Let's hope he's improving someone else's performance.

DIABEETUS!

Diabeetus!

I am in complete shock. Not only did the Bears acquire the best damned diabetic QB in football, but they singlehandedly changed the future outlook for the next few seasons in less than a few hours. Here's the skinny:

MOVE #1

Acquired: QB Jake Cutler, 5th round pick

Lost: QB Kyle Orton, two 1st round picks and a 3rd round pick

Grade: A-

First of all, without Cutler, we for SURE spend one of those 1st round picks on a QB who won't pan out - maybe both picks. Considering our luck with 1st round picks in general, getting rid of them doesn't hurt too much. I'll miss Orton and his neckbeard more than you'll ever know, but the idea of utilizing Hester downfield with accurate throwing is just too good for me to pass up.

If Cutler manages to merge into our offense seamlessly and improve the team the way we all hope he does, no one is going to miss Orton or the draft picks. He can throw with accuracy, has great pocket presence, and is young enough to be our leader for seasons to come.

In that same vein, if Cutler somehow has a shitty year, it might (FINALLY) put some pressure on our seemingly invincible offensive coordinator. I would gladly take an off-year from our offense to ensure Ron Turner's departure.

The one potential downside is that other than having Diabeetus, Cutler has been proven to be a whiny bitch. Coming to a new town with that rep can go down one of two roads - you can either be like the Dennis Rodman's and AJ Pierzynski's of the world (beloved by Chicago and vice versa), or you can be the Cedric Benson's and David Wells' (whiny bitches hated by all). Hopefully Cutler works out as the former.

MOVE #2

Acquired: LT Orlando Pace

Lost: Money, John St. Clair

Grade: B-

Pace has been around for an eternity - he's still got talent, but he's so injury prone it's not even funny. I remember in NFL 2K2 I would always get him for my squad only to discover that he had mysteriously broken his hand or something EVERY SEASON. It's so sad that it's actually true.

Pace is a big upgrade over St Clair in terms of potential awesomeness, but in reality, he's not going to perform much better in the longrun. He just doesn't have the gas in the tank. Even so, three years locked up with Pace is better than I could have hoped for going into the season without a LT on the line.

NEXT MOVE:

Acquired: WR Torry Holt

The Reality of Getting Cutler

Well, he KINDA looks like Orton...

If you live in Chicago long enough, you learn that the only sports team in town to bag the big-name free agents (or make moves for big names) is the Cubs. The Sox haven't gotten a big name since Albert Belle, the Bulls haven't since Rodman (Jalen Rose does NOT count), and the Bears haven't offered a contract to any FA under 30 in my lifetime. As such, I am incredibly pessimistic about the Bears taking the slightest stab at Cutler.

Even so, the possibility would be great news. As Keggers pointed out yesterday, getting Cutler essentially equals us getting a free draft pick every year he's on the team (instead of wasting one on the Cade McNowns of the future), and opens the running game for Forte to go batshit crazy. So the real question is, REALISTICALLY, what would need to go down?

The Broncos are in need of a better defense, and any offensive weapons we can give to make Cutler's departure easier. Seeing as we don't have shit in the way of offense (Desmond Clark?), we're probably throwing in a high draft pick with the defensive player.

We have the following to work with:

Briggs: We love our linebackers, and Briggs is no exception. The Yin to Urlacher's Yang, he is what makes our defense tolerable on a regular basis. Seeing as the Broncos have Webster and nothing else, Briggs is a very attractive option.

Harris/Tillman: As much as Tillman is a pussy who gets hurt once a game in order to "bounce back," he can't keep up with the big boys. He gets burned by every WR1 in the league, and I won't miss him when he goes. Seeing as the Broncos have Champ Bailey and...um...Champ Bailey to deal with, Tillman would make their secondary almost respectable.

Corey Graham, Trumaine McBride, Nathan Vasher: These guys are "sort of the future." Frankly, I don't know what their role is on the team if Tillman or Harris go, but I would rather not trade "the youth" if it can be avoided. Also, these guys actualy have potential (instead of additional potential to suck), so they may actually have worth in a deal if packaged with a 1st or 2nd rounder.

Cutler to the Bears?

I have diabetes!!

I actually agree with most of this article. The Bears should do whatever it takes to get JC under center. Someone get some sugar-free candies stuffed into Olin's bung!

The Broncos need defense. We have a lot of overpriced players in the secondary that can be replaced in the draft. Hell, we could even deal Hillenmeyer (a great fit in Denver) or Briggs and a few draft picks.

Everyone knows that dealing draft picks is a quick way to destroy a franchise. However, the only time this rule is moot is when a young high-ceiling QB is available. If Cutler were in the draft this year, he'd be the hands-down #1 pick. 

We've been searching for a franchise QB for ...   a billion years? Forever? Just pull the trigger. Make this happen.  Right now, our team is a slowly deteriorating beast. We dont have anyone to build around, our O-line and D-line are getting old/retiring and we have no receivers. Forte is nice but not indispensable. Hester is nice but not indispensable. Harris, Briggs and Tillman are all good but shouldn't be safe from the block.

If we trade for Cutler and sign a decent veteran WR (like Holt, Engram or MarHar) and draft into the defense, all of a sudden we're a young team (Olsen, Cutler, Hester, Forte) with an exciting future.

More importantly, we don't have to waste a top pick on a QB for another decade. It's such a ridiculous cost/benefit tradeoff here. If you don't take Cutler, we're going to take a few swings at the position (we're not very good at picking QB's) and even if we assume we're going to get it right 1 out of 3 times (not realistic, we've gone through McNown, Grossman, Orton, just to name the most recent draftees- and not counting FA's) we're still spending 10+ years drafting, evaluating, giving up, re-hauling and re-drafting. I've seen it 5 times already since I was a kid. Christ, just look at this list over the last 30 years: Erik Kramer is top 3 in our ENTIRE FRANCHISE HISTORY. The list is appaling. In order, from present:

Griese, Grossman, Orton, Hutchinson, Krenzel, Quinn, Stewart, Burris, Chandler, Miller, McNown, Matthews, Moreno, Stenstrom, Mirer, Krieg, Walsh, Kramer, Furrer, Willis, Harbaugh, Flutie, Tomczak ... JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

I honestly cannot think of a reasonable request from Denver that I wouldn't take if I'm Angelo.

Hester, Briggs and the #1?  OK.

Orton, Forte and Briggs? OK.

My left nut and future considerations on my right? OK.

Don't get me wrong- Cutler is a total homo. He's kind of whiny, super-sensitive and also has diabetes. You don't want your QB to have fucking diabetes. Nevertheless, you can build a winner around that arm... dude throws 70 yards from his knees. Imagine actually being able to hit Hester in-stride... Imagine the defense NOT having 9 guys in the box on Forte... Imagine still having a chance in a game when you're losing... Imagine not having to worry about the QB spot for at least 5 years...

Make this happen. I'll root for this dork like he's Joe Montana.

-KEG