Friday, April 3, 2009



I am in complete shock. Not only did the Bears acquire the best damned diabetic QB in football, but they singlehandedly changed the future outlook for the next few seasons in less than a few hours. Here's the skinny:


Acquired: QB Jake Cutler, 5th round pick

Lost: QB Kyle Orton, two 1st round picks and a 3rd round pick

Grade: A-

First of all, without Cutler, we for SURE spend one of those 1st round picks on a QB who won't pan out - maybe both picks. Considering our luck with 1st round picks in general, getting rid of them doesn't hurt too much. I'll miss Orton and his neckbeard more than you'll ever know, but the idea of utilizing Hester downfield with accurate throwing is just too good for me to pass up.

If Cutler manages to merge into our offense seamlessly and improve the team the way we all hope he does, no one is going to miss Orton or the draft picks. He can throw with accuracy, has great pocket presence, and is young enough to be our leader for seasons to come.

In that same vein, if Cutler somehow has a shitty year, it might (FINALLY) put some pressure on our seemingly invincible offensive coordinator. I would gladly take an off-year from our offense to ensure Ron Turner's departure.

The one potential downside is that other than having Diabeetus, Cutler has been proven to be a whiny bitch. Coming to a new town with that rep can go down one of two roads - you can either be like the Dennis Rodman's and AJ Pierzynski's of the world (beloved by Chicago and vice versa), or you can be the Cedric Benson's and David Wells' (whiny bitches hated by all). Hopefully Cutler works out as the former.


Acquired: LT Orlando Pace

Lost: Money, John St. Clair

Grade: B-

Pace has been around for an eternity - he's still got talent, but he's so injury prone it's not even funny. I remember in NFL 2K2 I would always get him for my squad only to discover that he had mysteriously broken his hand or something EVERY SEASON. It's so sad that it's actually true.

Pace is a big upgrade over St Clair in terms of potential awesomeness, but in reality, he's not going to perform much better in the longrun. He just doesn't have the gas in the tank. Even so, three years locked up with Pace is better than I could have hoped for going into the season without a LT on the line.


Acquired: WR Torry Holt


stalkingerinandrews said...


Acquired: WR Torry Holt

I like your thinking! Holt may be on the downside of his career, but he can't be a worse pickup than Moose. I figured that the Bears would go after a bona fide #1 next year, since they won't have to pay for the next 2 1st round fuck-ups. But signing Holt can't hurt at all.

Gepetto said...

Holt doesn't have the speed to burn defenders anymore, but he runs routes like he has a GPS on him at all times and he has great hands.

With Hester a legitimate deep threat (no more being underthrown!), the Bears could really use a possession guy like Holt to keep the middle of the field busy.

Keggers said...

I love that video, great call.