Showing posts with label farewell neckbeard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label farewell neckbeard. Show all posts

Monday, October 12, 2009

Neckbeard's Revenge


Those socks are really gay.

I'm happy for Kyle Orton.

He's a likable dude. Forced to sit behind the erratic Sex Cannon after going 10-5 as a rookie and getting traded out of Chicago despite being a steady and consistent, low-risk quarterback, all he ever did was... everything that was ever asked of him.

He even embraced his awesome Neckbeard moniker and definitely set the record for most ridiculous off-field picture gallery..

He never complained, even after he outplayed Grossman for several games and still had to ride pine. Even when he got the "game manager" title, played hurt and got booed. He didn't complain when he got traded to a shitty team up in the mountains with a rookie head coach.

Here's to you Neckbeard. Bravo. Keep up the good work.

Oh and enjoy the rocky mountain brew:


Friday, April 3, 2009

DIABEETUS!


Diabeetus!

I am in complete shock. Not only did the Bears acquire the best damned diabetic QB in football, but they singlehandedly changed the future outlook for the next few seasons in less than a few hours. Here's the skinny:

MOVE #1

Acquired: QB Jake Cutler, 5th round pick

Lost: QB Kyle Orton, two 1st round picks and a 3rd round pick

Grade: A-

First of all, without Cutler, we for SURE spend one of those 1st round picks on a QB who won't pan out - maybe both picks. Considering our luck with 1st round picks in general, getting rid of them doesn't hurt too much. I'll miss Orton and his neckbeard more than you'll ever know, but the idea of utilizing Hester downfield with accurate throwing is just too good for me to pass up.

If Cutler manages to merge into our offense seamlessly and improve the team the way we all hope he does, no one is going to miss Orton or the draft picks. He can throw with accuracy, has great pocket presence, and is young enough to be our leader for seasons to come.

In that same vein, if Cutler somehow has a shitty year, it might (FINALLY) put some pressure on our seemingly invincible offensive coordinator. I would gladly take an off-year from our offense to ensure Ron Turner's departure.

The one potential downside is that other than having Diabeetus, Cutler has been proven to be a whiny bitch. Coming to a new town with that rep can go down one of two roads - you can either be like the Dennis Rodman's and AJ Pierzynski's of the world (beloved by Chicago and vice versa), or you can be the Cedric Benson's and David Wells' (whiny bitches hated by all). Hopefully Cutler works out as the former.

MOVE #2

Acquired: LT Orlando Pace

Lost: Money, John St. Clair

Grade: B-

Pace has been around for an eternity - he's still got talent, but he's so injury prone it's not even funny. I remember in NFL 2K2 I would always get him for my squad only to discover that he had mysteriously broken his hand or something EVERY SEASON. It's so sad that it's actually true.

Pace is a big upgrade over St Clair in terms of potential awesomeness, but in reality, he's not going to perform much better in the longrun. He just doesn't have the gas in the tank. Even so, three years locked up with Pace is better than I could have hoped for going into the season without a LT on the line.

NEXT MOVE:

Acquired: WR Torry Holt