Monday, September 28, 2009
Hey Seattle, Tell Me How My Ass Tastes
What's that? Another touchdown to Devin Hester? Another game where Cutler engineered a comeback through a deadly offensive drive built around plays more than 5 yards apiece? Take THAT, Kyle Orton. I love the Neckbeard as much as the next man, but there's no way that he could have engineered a drive like that.
What, you're wondering where we've been all this time? Look - I know we've been lax. I know that our coverage is like a small drop of Preparation H on the raging hemorrhoids that is Chicago sports. We do what we can, when we can. For longtime readers, you know that things such as work, prison, and gay pride parades can come between us and the Dong. It happens - let's just get on with our lives.
Here's a few things about the game you may not have noticed:
The Bears have three receivers not named Olsen or Forte:
For the first time that I can remember, the Bears have three legitimate receiving threats not playing the TE position. Sure, Olsen and Clark can still catch, but they're not the main show anymore. Between Hester, Bennett, and Knox, the Bears have three fast receivers with enough fundamentals to make opposing teams worry. Cutler's ability to get them the ball makes opposing teams pull off defenders to make sure the Bears don't get open. This should open the running game, but...
Forte is giving me bad memories of Benson:
The Cedric Benson "twinkletoes" when waiting for a hole are back. You know the ones I'm talking about - receive the ball on a handoff, and dance in place for 1-2 seconds on your toes before charging the hole. I don't know if Forte is hurt (I doubt it) or just facing some sort of tentativeness, but he needs to hit the hole harder and faster than he is right now. With Cutler keeping defenses honest, there's no reason he shouldn't be shredding defenses right now.
The Bears defense is only going downhill from here:
Seriously now - I love the Bears as much as the next guy, but this defensive unit is going to give me heart-attacks. They're still the "takeaways" unit that everyone has come to expect, but when Julius Jones is able to decimate you the way he did Sunday (missed tackles and all), there's a serious problem. Throw in Hillenmeyer's injury (we're now on our third linebacker in three weeks?) and things will only get worse.
The Seahawks can't intimidate looking like that:
Seriously? I thought that the Mighty Ducks had done a football spinoff or some shit. Use the Flying V!