Sunday, October 4, 2009

Damn You Fantasy Football

Hurry! San Francisco D is just...too...powerful...!

Fucking San Francisco. I had this thing in the bag. My amazingly overachieving fantasy team, previously the UNDEFEATED overachieving fantasy team, seems to have met a limit to its powers. As the Haitian, my role is not to outperform everyone else in the league - no, my goal is to suck the life out of the team I am playing for that one week, and beat them with a mediocre performance. For the first three weeks, it worked.

This week, I play against The BearHorse Jew, a mighty opponent. Expected to trounce me at all positions, I concentrated my energies to the dangerous areas - Tony Romo, Clinton Portis, Fred Jackson - and slowly began to drain the power from them. As the day wore on, the majority of his players were well below their anticipated output.

And then there was San Francisco D.

As I can only negate individual position players, I was unprepared for the THREE TOUCHDOWNS that San Francisco would have, essentially putting the fantasy win out of reach. Sure, it's possible that Aaron Rodgers and Donald Lee will somehow combine for 45 points, but realistically speaking, I doubt it. Fucking San Fran.


Anonymous said...

i agree, i went up against the monster that is san francisco defense. I'm up by 17 points with my opponent playing mason crosby, greg jennings, and bernard berrian. will i win?

Gepetto said...

Well, even though I know the outcome of the game, I would have said "No, you're fucked."

I think it was closer than I anticipated, but yeah, you still lose.