Best Post Of All Time

This was posted in my fantasy league this morning (from the guy I'm beating this week):

well as you may have noticed, my team is in a todd heap of trouble. early in the season i dealt with some hakeem nicks and bruises, and definitely made a bunch of bad tashard choices. without a doubt, my team was jason snelling up the joint. i mean, sometimes its tough to justine gage the wax and reggie wayne of the league, who will be good and who will get injured. it takes a lot of justin forsett to know in advance which players are gonna take a dennis northcutt and who will fall into the beanie wells. but after this weeks loss, im just jeremy shockey-ed and mike furey-ious. im liable to marshawn lynch all the non-lyndale and roddie whites out on this lonely heyward bey ive brought myself to.

i cant help but think about the better fantasy times, when i was sitting in the tim hightower of my matt cassell. i was eddie and robert royal-ty! anquan em-boldin-ed by my success, id go to bars where id jeremy macklin on chicks with huuuuge stevie breastons, and if they were lucky, take them delhomme. i had the world in the carson palmer of my hand.

so here i am samkon gado, beseaching, nay, stephen-howlings, to you from this lonely heyward bay (or is it a brian westbrook? i never remember). samkon gado, clear my steve slaton. cut me some joe flacco. champ bailey me out of this. i know i dont have the greatest team ever, but im chansi stuckey with them and just have to make do. look, i know you dont necessarily terrell owens it to me - heck, every since ive been a vince young lad in my josh cribbs ive practically worshipped the leonard pope.

all i know though is if my team doesnt wake up and smell the glen coffee soon, i may joseph addai a very slow, painful fantasy addeath.

ps. please kill braylon edwards and jets D tonight