Cedric Benson vs Texas police: Round 3

Durr, I am a total fucking idiot.

In arguably the most predictable story of all time, Cedric Benson was arrested for assault after punching some guy (I'm going to skip the "allegedly" crap) in the face at a bar in Austin, TX.

Given that this is his 3rd arrest for a physical altercation during an offseason in the past 3 years AND that there are multiple witnesses from the incident AND that it took place at 1:30am at a crowded bar AND that he's reached a 9.5 on the mongoloid scale... I think the following quotes are even more amazing (from ESPN):

Bartender Bryan White told police that once outside, Benson complained to people passing by that "all these white boys are ganging up on me and kicking me out."

One of Benson's attorneys, Sam Bassett, said his client "looks forward to telling his side of the story at the appropriate time."

"Though he does not entirely agree with the version of facts recited in the court filings," Bassett said, "he does not wish to make his comments public at this time."

/Still laughing.

Yeah, I can't wait to hear his side of the story. He doesn't ENTIRELY agree with the facts... so I assume he's completely blame free here. We're so quick to judge...

Anyway, after feeling like I got kicked in the balls last season this is a nice bit of validation for the Bears organization. I still don't understand why we drafted this cretin in the first place but at least I don't feel as bad about cutting his ass.

Nevertheless, when he manages to stay out of prison and on the field, the dude can play:

P.S. I still fully blame him for driving Thomas Jones out of town, which makes him my least favorite Bear of all time and set us back a lot of money and a draft pick (on Forte). It might have been easier to just keep the MOST PRODUCTIVE RB OVER THE LAST 5 SEASONS and call it a day. I'm mad just typing this. Fuck you Benson, you entitled, arrogant sack of shit.

-KEG

Just Fucking Kill Me

Strong-armed mopey bitch

Revenge, served cold by CedB

Well, shit.

It turns out our offensive line can't pass block. This wasn't obvious in the past few seasons when we ran the ball 30x/game and threw nothing but short passes and screens. In trying to protect Cutler for more than 2-3 seconds this season, it's become painfully obvious.

Hence, we need to establish the run early. Even at less than 4 yards/carry, it's important to get Forte warmed up and keep the line fresh. It takes a lot more energy to pass protect than to run block and our line is old as shit (and mostly crippled). This also sets up a plausible play-action pass (which thus far, has been as unrealistic as TPC lasting more than than 2 pumps).

I hate pointing fingers as football is really a team game and everyone is responsible but a lot of shit stems from our bad O-line. Forte looks like crap and isn't getting opportunities, Cutler is getting beat up and facing lots of double coverage and our defense spends a lot of time on the field. And without Urlacher/Harris, that's not a good situation.

Some quick notes:

1) Hester will make a great second WR for the Bears once we get a big physical target for Cutler.

2) What happened to Nathan Vasher? Remember when he was good?

3) Carson Palmer is a really good QB when healthy.

4) Cedric Benson looks like the real deal. I want to be happy for the guy, but when you try to rub it in going for 200 yards in the 4th quarter, you're dead to me.

5) I'm happy we have Gaines Adams but we have no high picks next year in a REALLY deep draft.

A question: Are we rooting for Favre in GB next weekend? I think my head is going to explode.

-KEG

Bears get Buenning

Some kid once made fun of my hair, so I ate him.

In a move that does little for us in the longrun, the Bears acquired Dan Buenning from the Bucs (as part of that "oh yeah, we owe you" deal with Greise going back to Tampa). That's all well and good...except that he wasn't good enough to win the starting job with the Bucs last year, and that we're still totally fucked on our offensive line. Metcalf at Tackle? Please!

I especially love this "excitement filled" line from the Sun-Times article:

"Now the Bears have eight healthy offensive linemen to work with as first-round pick Chris Williams rehabs his back injury."

Oh boy! EIGHT healthy linemen! We're in great shape now, right? Well, last I checked, you need to have FIVE of those guys starting, so three backups available to a team of underachieving turds in a row does NOT get my hopes up.

I hear Cedric Benson is available...

Urlacher is a master (bator! bator!) negotiator

You don't deserve to be the face of a franchise

The Bears best defensive player of all-time just re-upped today, signing a multi-bazillion dollar contract for the rest of his conscious existence (through 2012).

On the one hand, this is awesome. Urlacher is the shit, plays hurt, dominates every year and is clearly the face of the franchise. Until recently, he also wasn't a whiny bitch but I'm pretty sure that phase is over (you'd be whiny too if Lance "AA" LamBriggsini was making more cash than you).

On the other hand (when it's not engaged in other behaviour), Urlacher is coming off NECK SURGERY this offseason and COULDN'T FUCKING WALK a few months ago. He's also just past his prime and will be a depreciating asset for the rest of his contract.

Let's hope he bounces back with a vengance and earns his paycheck for the next few years. I also don't know what I'd do if he ever played for another team... probably kill myself, like all the Packers fans when Favre signs with someone else in a month.

Sidenote: Lance Briggs is a fucking genius. Seriously. He was seen at 3 clubs that night, got completely drunk, drove his half-million dollar car into a pole in the middle of the highway and just ran the hell out of there on foot. So... they can't bust him for being drunk (he didn't even admit to driving the car until the next day and was never breathalized) and he got off with "leaving the scene of an accident and improper lane usage". No jail time, no DUI, no team discipline and no drinking accusation. Take notes Cedric... oh wait, too late dipshit.