Cedric Benson vs Texas police: Round 3

Durr, I am a total fucking idiot.

In arguably the most predictable story of all time, Cedric Benson was arrested for assault after punching some guy (I'm going to skip the "allegedly" crap) in the face at a bar in Austin, TX.

Given that this is his 3rd arrest for a physical altercation during an offseason in the past 3 years AND that there are multiple witnesses from the incident AND that it took place at 1:30am at a crowded bar AND that he's reached a 9.5 on the mongoloid scale... I think the following quotes are even more amazing (from ESPN):

Bartender Bryan White told police that once outside, Benson complained to people passing by that "all these white boys are ganging up on me and kicking me out."

One of Benson's attorneys, Sam Bassett, said his client "looks forward to telling his side of the story at the appropriate time."

"Though he does not entirely agree with the version of facts recited in the court filings," Bassett said, "he does not wish to make his comments public at this time."

/Still laughing.

Yeah, I can't wait to hear his side of the story. He doesn't ENTIRELY agree with the facts... so I assume he's completely blame free here. We're so quick to judge...

Anyway, after feeling like I got kicked in the balls last season this is a nice bit of validation for the Bears organization. I still don't understand why we drafted this cretin in the first place but at least I don't feel as bad about cutting his ass.

Nevertheless, when he manages to stay out of prison and on the field, the dude can play:

P.S. I still fully blame him for driving Thomas Jones out of town, which makes him my least favorite Bear of all time and set us back a lot of money and a draft pick (on Forte). It might have been easier to just keep the MOST PRODUCTIVE RB OVER THE LAST 5 SEASONS and call it a day. I'm mad just typing this. Fuck you Benson, you entitled, arrogant sack of shit.

-KEG

Thomas Jones and his Biceps Headed to the Chiefs

As you all know, I have a man-crush on Thomas Jones. I want to smother myself between his biceps. Sometimes during Jets games, I would fantasize about being at the bottom of a pile with him... .... um, nevermind. Anyway, TJ just signed a 2 year deal with the Chiefs, sending Jamaal Charles' fantasy stock plummeting while giving Thomas Lenihan a nervous breakdown.

UPDATE:

Barstool NY is a fan too:

My bromance with Thomas Jones

Illegal in 50 states...

For those of you who don't know, I have a total man-crush on Thomas Jones. I followed him when he was drafted out of VA (ever since he had a feature in the 2000 NFL draft preview in ESPN magazine) and became completely obsessed when the Bears signed him in 04.

I love his work ethic, I love his attitude and he's an awesome football player.

Weird thing about him is that he keeps getting BETTER every year... normally running backs peak in their 2nd year and play at a high level for a year or two and then you never hear from them again. Check out TJ's numbers:

Year	Team	Rush	Yds	Yds/G	Avg	TD
2000	Arizona	112	373	26.6	3.3	2
2001	Arizona	112	380	23.8	3.4	5
2002	Arizona	138	511	56.8	3.7	2
2003	Tampa Bay	137	627	39.2	4.6	3
2004	Chicago	240	948	67.7	4.0	7
2005	Chicago	314	1335	89.0	4.3	9
2006	Chicago	296	1210	75.6	4.1	6
2007	New York	310	1119	69.9	3.6	1
2008	New York	290	1312	82.0	4.5	13

I cannot emphasize how insane that is.  Dude had his best season when he turned 30 (when most backs typically break down) and has spent his entire career fighting off younger, more highly touted options (Pittman, Benson, now Washington).

He's a real leader, not afraid to call out anybody (including golden boy Brett Favre) and is always willing to lead by example - he clearly spends a lot of time in the gym.

I also just stumbled upon this ultra-gay music video from some chick named "Trina" and it looks like TJ makes a steamy cameo for you ladies out there:

I will always remember him best for his time with the Bears: trudging out yards against 9 in the box with Kyle Orton and Craig Krenzel under center. A real warrior.

P.S. Does this post make me gay?

-KEG