Thursday, April 1, 2010

Yes, This Has Become A Sick Obsession


He even looks like a pitcher when batting!

Yes, I know we don't post, we're lazy, yadda yadda yadda. Fuck you.

Moving on, how about THIS STORY!? WOW!

"According to Bob Dutton of the Kansas City Star, Royals outfielder Brian Anderson told the club this afternoon that he wants to try pitching."

Wait, let me decipher that quote:

"According to some guy, BRIAN ANDERSON WILL CONTINUE TO ATTEMPT TO PLAY BASEBALL SOMEWHERE DESPITE BEING A PERENNIAL FAILURE"

This is, quite possibly, the best news ever. I mean, even the article says he had a low 90's fastball in college. If he can turn that into a 2-seam, or somehow pull a breaking ball out of his ass, he might even be useful! There's even the slight chance that he pulls a Sergio Santos somehow and becomes good. I'm seriously pooping my pants right now at the prospect of his succeeding as a pitcher.

He'd definitely rank in the top 50 batters that are pitchers. Only the top 50, though.