Bears are bringing Sexy Back

The Sex Cannon hath returneth.

I don't care what anyone else thinks, this is the best move the Bears could have made this entire offseason. Everyone knows I've got wood for Rex, but there is actually some logic behind this gay crush (and not just "he let me pitch once").

We just cut Moose, we're going to draft/sign some O-line help and our D has another good year (at least) in em. What makes more sense? Bringing back Griese? Starting Orton? Signing a rookie? A free agent? I'd rather take my chances with someone who knows the offense, has the talent and is young enough to hold the job for a few years if he can prove himself. Oh yeah, I almost forgot that he also happened to take us to the Superbowl not too long ago.

The best part is that he's only costing us $2M, leaving room to use Orton as the 2 string and STILL potentially sign McNabb (although he is looking increasingly unavailable- which may have spurred this move in the first place...).

This also justifies bringing Berrian back (who is 10X more valuable with The Cannon under center). Rex also has experience with Mark Bradley while being playing with the second team who has the size and hands to replace Moose as a great possession and short yardage receiver.

Grossman's contract is also incentive laden, so if he sucks, we pay almost nothing and can go another direction next year. It also removes the safety net he played with the last few seasons and forces him to produce under pressure, which is essential to his success anyway.

This is a great move by Bears management, and in 3 years we can all look back and joke about how close Rex was to getting cut. I can barely fathom the number of throwgasms we have yet to experience!

Rex wants to stay

But I looked so good in blue and orange...

With rumors already flying (Bears looking to move up in the draft for a QB) and free agency at the end of the monet, Rex Grossman has reasserted his desire to stay with the Bears:

"I love the organization, they drafted me. A lot of bad things have happened to me since I’ve been here with injuries and things, but the 2006 season was a special one. We almost completed the ultimate goal. I want to finish that. I want to finish what I started and I want to be a Bear for the rest of my life. But if that’s not the case, ultimately I have to do what’s best for me.”

Jerry Angelo and Lovie have already said they want Rex back, although not necessarily as the starter.

The whole situation is more sad than anything else. The kid has been through all kinds of shit in his 5 years with the Bears. He never complains, even after he gets benched for old man Greise and Boozy McDrunkenstein.

The Dong writers disagree and we want to know what you guys think- bring back Rextasy or not? (Comment board is open!)

Drafting Offense is for Pussies

Last seen working at a car repair shop

The Bears have a pretty bad track record of drafting offensive skill players early in the draft. My memory is scarred with the names Curtis Enis, Rashaan Salaam, Cade McNown and David Terrell. On the other hand, the Bears have an exceptionally good track record of drafting good defensive players both early and late in a given draft.

If we look at the top few picks from the last few drafts, it’s pretty obvious where our GM and scout team excel:

2006
2 42 Danieal Manning
2 57 Devin Hester

2005
1 4 Cedric Benson
2 39 Mark Bradley
4 106 Kyle Orton

2004
1 14 Tommie Harris
2 47 Tank Johnson
3 78 Bernard Berrian
4 110 Nathan Vasher

2003
1 14 Michael Haynes
1 22 Rex Grossman
2 35 Charles Tillman
3 68 Lance Briggs

2002
1 29 Marc Colombo

2001
1 8 David Terrell
2 38 Anthony Thomas

2000
1 9 Brian Urlacher
2 39 Mike Brown

With the exception of Michael Haynes, every defensive player picked in the first few rounds has been an absolute stud. (Hester was drafted as a DB by the way…) I mean, this is REALLY impressive.

Our best RB since Walter Payton was signed as a free agent (Thomas Jones) as was our most consistent WR (Muhammad). The best trade we’ve made in the last 10 years was sending our top WR at the time Marty Booker to the Fins for Ogunleye (which has panned out pretty well).

The obvious take-away here is that the Bears should draft only defensive players and trade or sign position players. Given that getting a QB on the open market is pretty tough, I understand the occasional QB pick although the odds for the Bears (and most teams for that matter) are pretty bad.

I say we take the beast on Michigan. (See http://luolsdong.blogspot.com/2007/12/going-long.html for my thoughts on this gigantic monster.)

And yes, this whole post is just an excuse to post another picture of this behemoth:

Tommy hungry. Tommy want wingy.

This Year is Going to be Painful

"Hold me."

I can't actually say that I'm excited to see the White Sox compete with a straight face. I tried practicing it in the mirror this morning, pronouncing each syllable with specific intent, and I still couldn't get the words out of my mouth. Our team has more holes than Jesus, and we don't seem to be making any moves to get better in the short term OR the long term.

First of all, we don't have a premier outfield. Actually, we don't really have an outfield at all. We have Jermaine Dye, the geriatric wonder, who can probably hit .290 with 30 HR and provide some offensive pop -- but it's all downhill from there. As it stands, we're starting either Jerry Owens or Anderson (the correct choice) in CF, and then either Owens or Quentin in LF. Keep in mind, we took great pains to get rid of the consistently hurt speedster in LF to bring in TWO consistently hurt speedsters! Owens has had enough injuries to the point where he and Rex Grossman could basically be hospital roommates. Just the same, Quentin is coming off of surgery on his throwing arm, and is still probably a year away from the majors anyways.

Our bullpen is still the same amazing group of failures, plus Scott Linebrink, who is coming off of an amazing collapse in the NL Central. If you can't get it done in the NL's crapper, what makes you think the AL's toughest division will be any easier? We get to watch MacDougal (throw a strike you pussy!), Logan (I can only pitch 1/3 an inning!), Wasserman (I was the only good pitcher in the 2nd half!), Massett (why am I doing long relief when I should be starting), Dewon Day (the worst pitcher in White Sox history -- yes, worse than Tood Ritchie), and of course:

Bobby Jenks.

Even after the pain of our pitching and outfield, we still have an infield with two logjams (SS and 3B, respectively), and two aging sluggers in Thome and Konerko.

Now, does this mean I'm not going to watch? No! I'm going to cheer my ass off, because it's the Chicago way. There isn't a snowballs chance in my asshole that the Sox will win the division or wildcard this year, but at least we have some young players to watch (Quentin, Ramirez, Richar, Fields, Owens, Sweeney, Anderson) that might actually pan out in the future.

But until then, I'm REALLY not looking forward to the looming break between football and baseball. It gives me too much time to think about the regular season.

Bears in 08

News from Rotowire: Roscoe Parrish (PR/WR) just signed a contract extension with the Bills. $1.1 million signing bonus, bonuses of $3.25 million in 2008, $1.5 million in '09, a $1 million base salary in 2009, and base salaries of $1.25 million in 2010 and 2011, plus $500,000 roster bonuses each year.

This means Hester is going to want (and deserve) some serious cash this offseason or he'll probably hold out, since he's still got 2 years on his rookie contract, only making ~500K/season.

In addition, our unrestricted FA list looks like this:

Rex Grossman
Bryan Johnson
Bernard Berrian
Rashied Davis
John Gilmore
Ruben Brown
Brendon Ayanbadejo
Darrell McClover
Charles Tillman
Brandon McGowan

Seems like '08 is going to be tricky from the outset.

I assume we will resign Tillman, Ayanbadejo and McGowan. I don't really care about Berrian or Davis and Ruben Brown is getting pretty old. I think we are probably going to lose Briggs, unless we pay him too...

On the bright side, we've got substantial talent coming off the IR list, including top draft picks from the last two years:

Mike Okwo (LB)
Dan Bazuin (DE)
Dusty Dvoracek (NT)

(And vets Mike Brown and Ruben Brown who we missed most of the season).

It's too early to look into other FA's around the league but I'm sure we can find an affordable WR. We will have massive talent coming into the defense with the young guys who missed a lot of the 06 or 07 season PLUS our 08 draft picks. There are some great offensive lineman who we could sign, including Alan Faneca and Kyle Turley. The issue is a QB... there are no good FA's (except Romo, who will be a brokeback Cowboy) and the draft is weak after Brohm.

Are we going to roll the dice on a QB or should we draft more D? I always say the draft is for defense and free agency is for skill players but with most of the league starting shitty QB's (check Bill Simmons article from ESPN) we might have to pull another McNown/Grossman and hope for the best with Brohm or Colt.

Personally, I say stick with Grossman.

In fact, I challenge anyone to argue with the following reasoning: There is nobody better, with more upside at a cheaper cost.

If our defense is going to get better and our offense will (at best) stay the same, why roll the dice on a 3-5 year commitment that might (will definitely) suck ass during the last hurrah for Urlacher, Brown etc? Save our money, pay Hester, Briggs and Tillman, integrate the huge influx of young talent on the defense and sign a fast cheap WR to go along with Olsen and Moose.

Vote for Rex in 08.