Bears are not 9-0

My, you have exceptionally strong, weight bearing hamstrings Mr. Forte!

If I had told you that the Bears would hold the Titans to 20 total rushing yards and that Rex would throw as many TD's as INT's, how would you predict the outcome? 10-0 Bears? 14-7 Bears?

I have no idea how we lost this game. 

Until yesterday, Kerry Collins looked about as accurate as Helen Keller playing darts.  Drunk. I've watched 3 other FULL Titans games this season and the guy couldn't hit a wide open Keith Traylor wearing a cape, not to mention he's not very nimble on his feet... usually a recipe for 10 sacks and a bunch of INT's for our opportunistic defense.

Not so, as we somehow managed to let the old man toss  for almost 300 yards and a pair of TD's, including one to ex-bear Justin Gage, who (justifiably) ripped on our city traffic issues right before the game.

Personally, I loved the gameplan: make the old man beat you through the air. With Tillman and Brown hurt, it just didn't work as well as it should have. Also, has anyone else noticed a significant drop in production from the formerly intimidating Tommie Harris? 

Last note, Rex looked good for what was asked of him but I'll tell you, Kyle Orton has made some serious strides this season. The contrast to Rex only highlighted how good Orton has become and how much we'll miss him down the stretch for a few weeks.

Decisions Decisions

This came out looking like some sort of retarded flag.

With football season just around the bend, it's time to face facts: we're not going to be getting anyone other than Orton or Grossman to lead these troops downfield. Favre is going to stay in Green Bay or go to Minnesota - we're not really in the running for this one.

So, between our two "leaders," which one do we want to win the job? Let's have a look at the candidates:

Rex Grossman:

Pro: Rex knows this offense. He worked it to a T in 2006, and made himself the first relevant Bears QB since Jim Miller was a tolerable bye-week option in Fantasy Football. He has the best arm of either QB, and when he steps into his throws, can be relatively accurate as well. Rex likes to use the TE's on the team, which is (sadly) one of our better recieving options, and can occasionally engineer a drive by himself. Rex is also in the midst of a contract year, so it wouldn't be surprising to see a burst of intelligence and poise. He's got a lot going in his favor this year, too. Vote Rex in '08.

Con: Rex knows this offense...and by "knows the offense," I mean "had sex with it." If there's anyone who can fuck a season (or anything, for that matter), it's Rex. Wounded ducks, the retarded ostrich, and of course, "Fuck it - I'm throwing it downfield." If you ever want to see an offense self-destruct as quickly as it can, put Rex at the helm. The Sex Cannon ignores targets on the short route, totally misses the deep routes, and he won't have Berrian to catch up to his turds this year. Oh, and did I mention that he's injury prone?

Kyle Orton:

Pro: Everyone who reads this blog knows my throughts on Orton. He's younger, faster, and neckbeard-ier than Grossman will ever be. He's not afraid to do exactly what Ron Turner wants, and as a result, he may be the shining hope that will finally get Turner's ass fired. Orton has solid pocket presence, has some ability to scramble, and has shown significant improvement every year. He's not going to be a 300+ yard 2 TD+ player. Hell, you'll be lucky for 150 yards and a TD, but his conservative style helps keep the ball moving instead of turning it over every 3rd down. Did I mention he has a career record of 12-6 (including the 2-1 he went last year)? Vote Kyle in 08.

Con: Jesus Christ, people! It's KYLE ORTON! If getting drunk were a sport, I'd make Orton my first-rounder (after Robert Downey Jr. and Courtney Love), but as an actual QB? Let's be serious for a minute. I don't think the guy has ever topped 250 yards in a game, I don't think he's ever thrown 2 TDs in a game (intentionally), and he routinely maintains a QB rating of about 60. He's even less accurate than Grossman on the deep routes, and doesn't have the arm strength to back it up. At least Grossman has upside.


So, who've you got?

Bears are bringing Sexy Back

The Sex Cannon hath returneth.

I don't care what anyone else thinks, this is the best move the Bears could have made this entire offseason. Everyone knows I've got wood for Rex, but there is actually some logic behind this gay crush (and not just "he let me pitch once").

We just cut Moose, we're going to draft/sign some O-line help and our D has another good year (at least) in em. What makes more sense? Bringing back Griese? Starting Orton? Signing a rookie? A free agent? I'd rather take my chances with someone who knows the offense, has the talent and is young enough to hold the job for a few years if he can prove himself. Oh yeah, I almost forgot that he also happened to take us to the Superbowl not too long ago.

The best part is that he's only costing us $2M, leaving room to use Orton as the 2 string and STILL potentially sign McNabb (although he is looking increasingly unavailable- which may have spurred this move in the first place...).

This also justifies bringing Berrian back (who is 10X more valuable with The Cannon under center). Rex also has experience with Mark Bradley while being playing with the second team who has the size and hands to replace Moose as a great possession and short yardage receiver.

Grossman's contract is also incentive laden, so if he sucks, we pay almost nothing and can go another direction next year. It also removes the safety net he played with the last few seasons and forces him to produce under pressure, which is essential to his success anyway.

This is a great move by Bears management, and in 3 years we can all look back and joke about how close Rex was to getting cut. I can barely fathom the number of throwgasms we have yet to experience!

Rex wants to stay

But I looked so good in blue and orange...

With rumors already flying (Bears looking to move up in the draft for a QB) and free agency at the end of the monet, Rex Grossman has reasserted his desire to stay with the Bears:

"I love the organization, they drafted me. A lot of bad things have happened to me since I’ve been here with injuries and things, but the 2006 season was a special one. We almost completed the ultimate goal. I want to finish that. I want to finish what I started and I want to be a Bear for the rest of my life. But if that’s not the case, ultimately I have to do what’s best for me.”

Jerry Angelo and Lovie have already said they want Rex back, although not necessarily as the starter.

The whole situation is more sad than anything else. The kid has been through all kinds of shit in his 5 years with the Bears. He never complains, even after he gets benched for old man Greise and Boozy McDrunkenstein.

The Dong writers disagree and we want to know what you guys think- bring back Rextasy or not? (Comment board is open!)