Ozzie's Corner

Ozzie: This is total bullshit! No fucking way! I'm right here, and he was over there, and then the stuff happened!

Ump: Mr. Guillen --

Ozzie: I'm not finished! This kid is a good ballplayer. He's young but he throws strikes and I like that. But this shit is ridiculous! Are you going to sit there in your big fucking umpire jacket and tell me I'm wrong?

Ump: I'm not even wearing a jacket. You don't seem to understand --

Ozzie: No, YOU don't fucking understand! The Indians have been bending us over and having their way with us! You took the fucking calls from us! We were winning, and then I put in Dotel and you give us that shitty call but now we lose the ballgame and it's fucking bullshit!

Ump: Actually, you won.

Ozzie: And another thing! I -- wait, what?

Ump: You won. The bullpen pitched three scoreless innings and Bobby Jenks got the save. You won 2-1.

Ozzie: We did? Well then...

Ozzie: I want everyone to know it was because of my superior managerial skills.