Birthday Sharks

I actually missed our second birthday - can you believe it? The little Dong is all grown up at TWO YEARS OLD, which, in blog years, is somewhere around 70 years old. Strangely, blog years are the only measure of time that works backwards (Under 1 Year = 20 years old, Year 1 = 40 years old, Year 2 = 70, Year 3 = 120 years old, Year 4 = 80 years old, Year 5 = 50 years old, and so on until you get back to 20).

And this is us jumping the shark.

When we started this little outlet for racism, hatred of Ron Turner, and general homophobia, we were like a drunk version of Apollo - bringing fire to the world by lighting it ablaze. We took out our hatred for Chicago sports in multiple daily doses. We made friends within the blogosphere. We were featured regularly on pseudo-respectable outlets like Deadspin, With Leather, and so on.

Now look at us - the White Sox signed a guy named Putz and there hasn't even been a post about it yet. Old me has at least 3 posts on this, one of which is just a series of MS Paint doodles on old White Sox slogans ("Grinder Rule #34: It never hurts to have a Putz on the team"). It's no secret that we've been lax in posting, and that when we DO post, it's usually out of guilt and less about enthusiasm.

Somewhere around this time last year, we started to drop off. It wasn't anything personal, really. We still all love the Dong and what it represents - it's just a pretty big time commitment to keep up with those big names like Chicago Bull and My Brain Says Rage...wait, what? Those blogs are dead? Oh fuck yes - we outlasted you guys! FUCK AND YES. QUITTERS!

Long story short, we're not dead. We're not even on life support. But we do recognize that we've been more of a flaccid flesh pile than the throbbing hard entertainment you deserve (does that make me gay for pointing it out like that? Probably. Oops).

I mean, I missed the Dong birthday! Two years ago, I would have sold my third nut just to GET to the Dong's birthday that I was so pumped for it! It's not like I waited until July to realize my folly, but missing it by more than a day is punishable by death, let alone the two weeks it took me to realize the problem.

We're not going to post multiple times a day. Hell, we're not even going to post every day. But I will tell you this - you will not be getting the same garbage that you get everywhere else. We will not say "oh look at the cute youtube video" and call it a post. You will get the venom that we spew when we think about Chicago Sports. You will get discertations about the Bears offense, the Bulls, and of course, the White Sox. Hell, if there's even a reason to cover that Chicago National League team, we'll talk about that too.

For those of you that have stuck through the rough times, we salute you. Oh, and as a reward to those of you that HAVE stuck around, you probably know we like to do a little something for our birthday...(hint hint)