Climbing The Shit Ladder

There...I can almost see 1-6...

It's not easy having the worst record in Fantasy Football. I know, because I'm there right now.

Now, I know what you're all thinking: "But wait! You're the best FF player ever! You make the playoffs every year! Is this real life!?"

Sadly dear friends, this is indeed real life. All hope has not been lost, though. Let's look at how I started the year, and where I'm at now:

Before
QB: Favre (C+)
RB1: Ronnie Brown (B-)
RB2: Ryan Grant Tim Hightower (D+)
WR1: Randy Moss (B+)
WR2: Malcolm Floyd (A-)
WR3: Miles Austin (A)
TE: Jermaine Gresham (C+)

After
QB: Drew Brees (A+)
RB1: Joseph Addai (B+)
RB2: DeAngelo Williams (B+)
WR1: Johnny Knox (B)
WR2: Hines Ward (B)
WR3: Jabbar Gaffney (B-)
TE: Dallas Clark Chris Cooley (A)

That is a vast improvement!

How did I do it? For starters, I begged and groveled and dry humped just about every manager in the league. Then I cajoled. Then I made a bad trade (Favre and Austin for Vick and Gaffney...the week right before Vick got hurt). Down, but not out, am I right?

Actually, I'm not going to break down what happened exactly (it's messy), but here are some things to keep in mind:

#1. One man's trash is another man's treasure. Team A might have dropped his 5th runningback to pick up a different player to cover a bye week, but he might be a good RB! Hell, he might even be useful to you! Good examples of "could be useful" players: CJ Spiller, Cadillac Williams, Mike Tolbert, Danny Amendola, Louis Murphy, John Carlson, Mike Williams.

#2. Never be afraid to deal for players solely to trade them. Just because another manager hasn't able to effectively shop a player doesn't mean you can't. Trade for that player who has been on the block for a whole month, and find a new way to make him attractive to a buyer. Some people put air fresheners in used cars, sometimes value is value.

#3. Anticipate. I was trying to deal Dallas Clark for three days before this "he is out for multiple weeks" news came. Read the signs - no injury report, missed time, and they signed another TE. When all of this comes during a bye week, you're in trouble.

#4. Don't send kids pictures of your dick. I suppose this is a life lesson more than anything else.