Grudge Match of the Damned

Only one is legally dead, but I'm convinced there's something up with Geraci.

Last Week's Results: After hacking down thousands of Bozo, Svengoolie runs out of steam and is ultimately outnumbered. Bozo wins in a landslide.

That said, let us welcome THE CHICAGO GRUDGE MATCH OF THE DAMNED!

Challenger: Peter Francis Geraci

Bio: An attorney for over 30 years and a graduate of DePaul, Geraci brings his dry talks about bankruptcy to the Chicagoland public on a daily basis.

Interesting Fact: Was accused of overcharging clients in 1998, but the case was thrown out due to it being based on only one instance.

Strengths: Speaking slowly, discussing bankruptcy on audio tape. Circling above dying travelers waiting for his chance to swoop in and devour the carcass.

Weaknesses: Anything moving faster than 3 MPH, sly humor. CD's and any other audio technology newer than tape.

Wow: Actually sued other bankruptcy firms for using the phrase "info tapes" as he claimed his firm owned the trademark for the phrase. Wow.

Defending Champ: Casimir Pulaski

Bio: Born to Poland in 1747, a condemned-to-death (attempted regicide) Pulaski went out of his way to serve the US troops in the Revolutionary War. He created the first US Cavalry, and died in 1779 from a wound sustained in battle.

Interesting Fact: The wound required to finish this badass was a cannon shot to the groin. That's right -- they had to shoot a fucking cannon into his balls to finally take him down. What a beast.

Strengths: Killing people, horse riding, lying to (and betraying) Russia. Sausage.

Weaknesses: Cannonballs to the groin, finishing the job when it comes to regicide. Submarines with screen doors, locking self in motorcycle. Soap.

Wow: Casimir Pulaski day exists as a compromise for the Polish people of Chicago that didn't want to celebrate Martin Luther King Day. Wow.

Vote for your winner in the comments!