It's Miller Time

Home sweet home

I'm not a basketball guy. To be perfectly honest, I hate basketball for becoming a league of paid actors and whiners, and I haven't given a shit about the Bulls since Jordan. That said, I'm probably not the best guy to tell you what this latest Bulls trade means. If anything, my "brilliant insight" should at least provide the perspective of someone who doesn't know jack shit about the ramifications - hopefully it will tide you over until Keggers provides some meaningful analysis.

After my initial reaction of "Again?" in response to getting Brad Miller, I'm calling it a success. As is my understanding, this trade is amazing, fantastic, and wonderful. The Bulls have been in dire need of an effective inside presence for some time. Ben Wallace, injury-related stupidity not withstanding, was not the answer we were looking for. Miller gets boards and keeps the pressure up (something Joakim Noah and Aaron Gray struggled with). Getting Miller provides a presence up front that will hopefully set up more opportunities for Derrick Rose to dominate, and maybe even get Luol Deng into a bit of a groove (maybe).

Oh, and speaking of Deng - John Salmons also came along as part of the deal, and while he isn't likely to actually take Deng's starting job, he'll certainly put some pressure on Deng to perform. Likewise, Salmons can come off the bench to breathe a little more life into the offense - he was Sacramento's second-leading scorer, after all.

Hey Ref! Look! Phantom bullet! Call the foul!

In exchange, we part ways with Andres "Bullet To The Chest" Nocioni, and Drew Gooden. It's easy to write Gooden off as a win-win, because he's probably going to miss the rest of the season, and his contract was up anyways. As for Noch, he's likely going to be doing exactly what he did here - come off the bench, do a mediocre job, and be Argentinian. Oh, and occasionally take a phantom bullet to the chest. That's part of the routine. In reality, Noch for Salmons probably would have been an advantageous deal by itself. Getting Miller is just awesome.

The only complaint I have heard about this trade at all (aside from the complaints from our one Argentinian reader) are that we didn't get Amare Stoudamire after all. That's like complaining that you got Quentin instead of Fukudome when you were starting Rob Mackowiak. Not the guy you wanted, but it's a million times better than what you had, and it has the potential to turn out even BETTER than the deal you wanted.

Oh, and about Fukudome (I need to segue into a topic I don't hate) - he's going to rebound hardcore this year. Book it.

Ben Wallace Will Have To Terrorize LeBron James From Now On

What? You're trading me where?

According to ESPN, the Bulls have sent Big Ben, his fro, and his inability to rebound to Cleveland for Carlos Boozer wannabe Drew Gooden. Wally Sczhkasdjfhlnskjhagnerbiak was involved with the trade also, going to Cleveland.

Gooden is averaging 11 pts and 8 rebounds a game, which is not bad when LeBron is almost averaging a triple double every damn night. Based on numbers alone he looks like a vast improvement over Wallace who averaged a paltry 5 pts a game and not quite 9 boards on 2 less minutes than Gooden. Gooden averages 1 block less per game, but shoots almost 30% better from the charity stripe.

I don't know what this does to the lineup. I don't think Noah is ready to start at center (oh GOD PLEASE START....SO MUCH MATERIAL.....), but Gooden is a forward (at an inch taller than Wallace).

So I guess this is it, Ben. I didn't like having you around in the beginning, you underachieved from the get-go, and I'm glad that you're leaving. I hope you do not deliver the pox on LeBron's house like you did Chicago's.

Ed's Note: Bloomerang jumped the gun hardcore. Actual trade:

Bulls Give: Wallace, Joe Smith, Adrian Griffin
Bulls Get: Larry Hughes, Drew Gooden, Cedric Simmons and Shannon Brown

The Sonics were also involved in the trade, but no one cares about them since Shawn Kemp stopped dunking over people.

UPDATE: The Bulls also send Joe Smith (Joe, we hardly knew you) to Cleveland, while acquiring underachiever Larry Hughes and reserves Shannon Brown and Cedric Simmons. The Sonics, also involved in the trade, send away Wally World and Delonte West, while getting Adrian Griffin from the Bulls and Ira Newble from the Cavs. Newble, owner of one of the most disgusting contracts in the NBA, is the namesake of the brilliant Ira Newble All Stars.

Bulls Quickie

This clutch in 2008?

There are less than 20 minutes remaining until the NBA trade deadline, and our future is in the hands of J-Pax, strange visitor from another planet. The Bulls have apparently been in talks with the Raptors concerning Joe Smith (I assume we got offered absolute crap for him), and according to Fornelli, we're trying to get Larry Hughes from the Cavs for Duhon and Wallace. I can see the Cavs doing it, as they get a big man and a legit PG...more on that here.

20 minutes to go, J-Pax. Show us why you were good with the buzzer-beaters.