Bulls Quickie

This clutch in 2008?

There are less than 20 minutes remaining until the NBA trade deadline, and our future is in the hands of J-Pax, strange visitor from another planet. The Bulls have apparently been in talks with the Raptors concerning Joe Smith (I assume we got offered absolute crap for him), and according to Fornelli, we're trying to get Larry Hughes from the Cavs for Duhon and Wallace. I can see the Cavs doing it, as they get a big man and a legit PG...more on that here.

20 minutes to go, J-Pax. Show us why you were good with the buzzer-beaters.

Getter Done Jon

(In Russia this is how the menfolk stay warm)

Yesterdays headlines revealed that preliminary talks between the Jazz and Bulls might send Ben Wallace to the Jazz for Andrei Kirilenko.

Why wouldn't we do this?!

Ben Wallace is an aging center who comes nowhere near earning the money we pay him. Kirilenko is a solid defensive player who can actually SCORE down low. His upside is huge, and although he has been injured, he has also been at odds with Jerry Sloan for a while and is itching to get out of Mormon town.

Just think of our starting lineup:
Tyrus Thomas C- The man needs to get minutes so we can decide whether we will keep him or not
Andrei Kirilenko PF
Luol Deng SF
Thabo-SG
Kirk-PG

With Ben Gordon, Noc, Joakim Noah (and of course, Aaron Gray) off the bench we can actually put together a decent winning streak.

We need to mix things up -- the trading deadline is the 21st. For Godsake, Paxson, stop watching your game winning three-pointer vs. Phoenix and get something done! We are miraculously still in contention for the playoffs, and with a new acquisition, we might be able to make a second half run.

Sorry big Ben, I love the fro but you gotta go.

(He's going to fit right in the Salt Lake City scene)

Free Shipping

Reese's for breakfast? Way cool!

See, there's a problem when you spend a boatload of money on a player like Ben Wallace, only to find out that you have a younger, more effective center on the team in Joakim Noah. With a major contract difference, Noah can provide everything Wallace can (including horrible hair), except maybe the ability to bitch.

So, why are we sitting on this waste of space? It's only a matter of time before he loses more time to Noah and eventually spends more of the game riding pine. The Bulls are going to be re-tooling and getting older players out of the way. Not only that, but Wallace is already in the midst of a decline. If we sit on this, Wallace is only going to get worse.

So what do we do?

We help out an old friend:

"And then MJ was all like, 'but coach, I don't think I have what it takes to win this game,' and I was all motivational and stuff."

For the first time in a while, Jackson is at the helm of a legitimately competitive team. No longer just the Kobe show, the Lakers have been riding high on the success of man-child Andrew Bynum who -- oh shit! He's hurt? And he plays center? Hm...

With Bynum out for about two months, it's in their best interests to get a center to stay competitive. There's gotta be some sort of trade the Bulls can pull off here -- get it done, Pax!

Get Inside Jon's Head

Did the Bulls really just score 126 points in a basketball game? That can't be my shitty team. The only explanation is...yes! I must have hit some sort of magical time warp -- when I was microwaving that burrito I set the microwave to :88. Yeah, that must be it -- a time warp.

So...126 points eh? Jud Buechler, you are the man! The United Center is going to be all over you tonight, because you are the PIZZA MAN. Wait a second...why am I wearing this lame outfit? I should be celebrating with my boys! I can finally relive the glory days and forget about my shitty team in the future -- the least I could do is look the part.


There we go! Oh man, this thing smells like detergent! No one is going to believe that I played in this!

[pisses on uniform]

Ah...that's more like it. The shorts are a bit snug, but everyone will just think I have huge junk. This is the best day ever.

Hey, they're showing the game highlights...

...what the?

That's my current team that scored 126? We actually played well and outscored the Miami Heat! The team came together, and worked as a single winning unit! I didn't hit a time warp...

...I just pissed on my old uniform for nothing?

Oh, Boylan's ass is so fired.