Linsanity

So, I don't know if anyone gives a shit, but I happened to snag an interview with the guy who has this insane-o Jeremy Lin card. Long story short, he's been on CBS, the radio, and is planning on making a kajillion dollars tonight by listing it on eBay.

Without further ado, I give you Yair Rozmaryn:

So what's all this about you having "The Best Jeremy Lin Card Ever"?

That's right. The National Treasures Prime Auto Patch serial numbered to 25. I have the #17 out of 25, Lin's Knicks Jersey #.

Do you think Lin can keep this up?

He's a spectacular player and you can't help but wonder how he wasn't highly touted. I believe he has the ability to be an all-star for years to come and not just because of the voters internationally!

Can you pick a comparable player to all the current "Linsanity"?

Tebow is the only one who comes to mind on a national stage, but Lin is going international. I don't think there's any comparison at this moment.

You can't be serious. Pele? Jordan? Really?

Clearly Pele/Tiger are world class once in a generation athletes. Whether Lin will ever become that, who knows. However, I think the comparisons of what they're capable of doing from a marketing standpoint around the world is fair. David Beckham would probably be the most reasonable comparison.

Come on. You know Jordan rules over all. Maybe try and keep this to PGs in the NBA?

Ha, you suck at fantasy football Gepetto!

...Says the guy who hasn't made the playoffs in years. So what are your plans for the card?

Putting it on eBay tonight with the help of my friend Matt. Will be either a 1 week or 10 day auction.

How much are you looking for, and when does it go on sale?

I'm hoping for upwards of $50,000 but we'll see. Ill let the general public determine that.

Well holy shit. How do I get in on that action?

eBay! Bid bid bid!

I hear you also pulled a child out of a burning building last year. Can you provide a little more information on that?

Yes, it was terrifying, but you when you see an opportunity to do the right thing, who wouldn't do the same? Did I mention I did it with a broken leg carrying a litter of baby kittens?

My god. A hero to millions...good luck tonight!

For those of you following this Linsanity, the card goes up for bid at 3:40 PM EST on the air with Fox Business.

The Griffey Ultimatum

YEAH! Strikeout with a man on 3rd with 1 out! Whoo! Show me some love.

I warned you. I warned all of you. As much as Hawk is still performing the oral roto-rooter on Griffey, this guy is not getting the job done. He strikes out when we need him most (most notably a three-strikeout performance against Detroit last week), and grounds into a double-play where possible. He is the exact opposite of the RISP production we thought we were getting.

Strangely, I'm not going to complain about the hitting (yet). Griffey is probably putting a lot of pressure on himself at the plate, and that can result in some junk AB's. He's not fast enough to turn a groundout into anything else. He will turn it around at the plate (he has to), but that's not one of my major gripes:

First, why are we starting him in center? Like, ever?

Griffey is the worst possible combination in Center Field. He has the speed of Mo Vaughn and the durability of Fred Taylor. Last I checked, that is a recipe for disaster. He can't catch up to routine fly balls (I saw a particularly easy one get cut-off after the hop at the end of the Boston series that Anderson or Wise could have caught standing up...or sleeping), he doesn't have the abilities he had when younger, and eventually, all this "running" will put him on the DL. Griffey has essentially become Carl Everett...without the ability to hit. That kills his value more than the bible killed Carl's belief in dinosaurs.

Second, have you noticed his disturbing "stiffness" trend? Griffey gets better treatment that Guillen's mother. Hot out and I made you bat 7th? Take the day off, I'll put Swisher in center. Smile too hard for a photo-op? Don't you worry, I'll get you into the trainer's room ASAP - rest for now, and I'll put Anderson in center. Spill your apple juice? Don't worry, mommy will get it.

This is baseball!

Last I checked, you play baseball to PLAY. If you want to make a shitload of money by doing nothing, take the Albert Belle route and retire when your new contract kicks in. Maybe get a restraining order on your ex to seal the deal, I don't care. I understand that part of this might be Guillen saying "you suck at the plate, thank goodness there's an excuse to put someone else in today" (which roughly sounds like "!@$#&ing kid needs to #$%@& his #$*&."), but you can only do that so much while continuing to sit Konerko (who, might I add, has shown a little bit of life as of late).

I get the feeling that Griffey is going to be more detrimental than helpful over the longrun. He'll want his playing time (batting between 3rd and 6th, of course), he'll push useful defenders to the bench (no one's going to bench Thome for Griffey as DH on a regular basis), and he's going to get hurt. It's just a matter of time.

As for me, I'm going to wait and see how long it takes before the Griffey effect spreads...

GIVE ME THE DAY OFF, OR I FUCK UP BROADWAY'S MECHANICS! I'LL DO IT!

The White Sox Roster That Could Have Been

I would have used the '08 logo if it existed, so get off my back

The Sox have never been a team that drafts particularly well (cough, Joe Borchard, cough), but a quick trip to the White Sox message board points out the draft picks that could have been:

In 1993 we took Scott Chirstman ( pick 17) when we could have had Torri Hunter (20) or Jason Varitek (21).

In 1996, we took Bobby Seay (12) over Jake Westbrook (21) and Gil Meche (22). So on and so forth...

1997: Jason Dellaero (15)... Lance Berkman (16)
1998: Kip Wells (16)... Brad Lidge (17)... CC Sabathia (20)
1999: Jason Stumm (15)... Alex Rios (19)
2000: Joe Borchard (12)... Chase Utley (15)
2001: Kris Honel (16)... Aaron Heilman (18)... Jeremy Bonderman (26)
2002: Royce Ring (18)... James Loney (19)... Jeff Francoeur (23)... Joe Blanton (24)... Matt Cain (25)
2003: Brian Anderson (15)... Chad Cordero (20)... Chad Billingsley (24)... Carlos Quentin (26)

So, to cut a long list short, here is a starting White Sox roster for 2008 that is actually possible, let alone ridiculous:

C: AJ
DH: Lance Berkman
1B: Konerko
2B:Chase Utley
SS: Cabrera
3B: Fields
LF: Rios
CF: Hunter
RF: Dye

SP: Sabathia
SP: Buerhle

SP: Vazquez
SP: Joe Blanton
SP: Gil Meche
RP: Dotel
RP: Linebrink
RP: Macdougal
RP: Thornton
RP: Cordero
CL: Jenks

Dear lord, can you imagine that rotation? How about a lineup with no holes? The only pick I side with was the selection of Kip Wells over Lidge and Sabathia because, hey, no one knew Wells would get hurt. And before he did, he was great. Also, as much as a workhorse as Sabathia is, he's a little overweight and likely due for an injury.

Still, if I could go back in time, I'd take this lineup in a heartbeat.

Wishful thinking is such a waste of time.