Thursday, July 29, 2010
Friends, brothers, countrymen - we are on the brink of war. Don't pretend like you haven't noticed it. This is a full-out SIEGE of the Dong. Every day we endure countless of attacks, lives and links hurled at us with the future of only an immediate death. They do not die with honor, nor do they waver from their suicide mission.
I am, of course, referring to the Chinese.
Yes, that's right, for every post we have on the dong, it is followed up by one of these "gems":
YOU'RE A FUCKING AUTOMATION! You don't watch sports! You don't even know what the hell a ZJ is (for the record, if you have to ask, you can't afford it). Well, I for one am tired of this shit. We need to hit them where it hurts, and hit them hard. We will make them remember the day that they crossed the Dong.
As of Thursday, from 1:00 PM to 1:02 PM, residents of China will not have access to the StarCraft II servers.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "two minutes?" Well, let me assure you - two minutes in "StarCraft" time is equivalent to 30 years of normal human life. It's kind of like a "dog years" sort of thing. Don't believe me? Look at this and then tell me I'm fucking around.
Oh you bastards will rue the day you crossed us. When the news comes out of the mass suicides across China, just remember it was because you couldn't leave a normal comment about Keggers wanting to sexually violate Thomas Jones.