Friday, July 9, 2010

Cleveland Steamer: a chat with F.A.G




Here is my chat with Fisting Andrew Golatta this morning. It was too good not to share. Not surprisingly, he hasn't been following the LeBron saga, so this is a fresh take:

FAG: whats up, fag nipples?

me: this lebron shit is crazy man

FAG: ???

me: you watch any of this hullabaloo last night?

FAG: how long have you known me? didn't watch it. fill me in
FAG: OK, so i just read it on CNN. what's the big deal?

me: he just took a massive dump on cleveland, on live tv
me: it was funny

FAG: it's not like he's the first to do that. cleveland sucks

me: yeah but this was unprecedented

FAG: to me, it sounds like he agreed to be more of a team player and for less money, in exchange for actually winning something
FAG: can't really fault that

me: he didn't tell cleveland until the announcement.
me: he scheduled himself an hour on ESPN to shit on their face

FAG: hahahaha

me: normally, people just sign and it gets reported
me: he made a national spectacle of telling cleveland to go assfuck themselves


FAG: wait...he got his own hour on ESPN?
FAG: and used it to talk shit?
FAG: this guy is my hero!!!

me: it was insane. He held his own conference, on live tv, to tell his hometown to fuck off. Unprecedented.

FAG: so basically, he made a career move that was self-sacrificing and team-oriented but made that decision in the most asshole way possible

FAG: i love this guy!
FAG: Dude...fuck cleveland. Ohio in general is the anus of America


-KEG