Um...shit.

And would you just look at the blocking for the running game?

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a serious problem. The Vikings are getting better every year, and filling the few remaining voids on their squad. Last season, the Vikes were kept from greatness due to a shitty QB situation (Gus + Starting = Bad Idea), and not much else. There was hope that their stock would drop in the offseason with the departure of free agents, and yet, here we are.

The last hope for the Vikings to have trouble this year is Matt Birk. If Birk re-signs with the Vikes, they have enough of a line for AP to do what he does best (dominate), and enough time for Rosenfels to give them a relevant passing game. Between Berrian's speed, Shiancoe's size (both below the belt and overall), and Rice's fucked up knees, he'll have more than enough options.

The Vikings defense is absolute murder against the run, and while their secondary isn't close in terms of skill, they still present a respectable force. Their Special Teams is also pretty good (as evidenced last year), AND they managed to re-sign almost all of their free agents (not Birk...yet).

This has gone on long enough - we need to put a stop to this.

If no one here is going to help, I propose Operation Antichrist. It's ingenious, really - simply let Peterson have the ball. Going from his extensive injury history, it's only a matter of carries before he hurts himself. Once he's down, Chester Taylor will be on a limited workload (guy can't quite handle 25 carries a game more than one game a month) and it will be time to strike. Just watch for the pass and blitz mercilessly as Rosenfels struggles to get the ball off.

Or something.

Please.

I Am In So Much Trouble

This post may very well get me not only barred from posting on this wonderful sports weblog, but it may also get me kicked out of any synagogue I try and join in the free world. I am praying to any colored Jesus that the Purple one go buck-fucking-wild against the dogshit Bears tonight. Are the Bears my favorite team? Abso-fucking-lutely. Does my head hurt with a pain rivaled only by menengitis when the Vikings do anything positive, especially against the Bears? You bet your snowy white ass. But I have a huge problem.

Tom Brady, Joseph Addai and the Indy defense decided that for Hannukah they were going to come over to my house and take turns shitting in my bed. While Keggers' squad scored more points in the early games than it had in all 13 weeks of football, my team sucked more dong than Jessica Simpson in the Dallas locker room while her Dad watched with that shit eating grin. As a result, I need Purple Jesus to log 50 points in order for me to move onto the finals. You heard me, with Tom Brady, Joseph Addai (against the FUCKING RAIDERS DEFENSE!!!!) and Indy's defense, I am down 50 points to a team that starts Aaron Stecker and Kevin Jones at running back.

So please, Jesus (Purple or Carpenter). Save me from the 3rd place game. I have dominated all season long, at least give me the pleasure of playing for the title. The Bears aren't going to win, anyway. Neckbeard and a geriatric offensive line are not going to take down that defense. If I have to punch neck in the face all night watching the Bears lose to my least favorite team in football, at least let me capitalize by winning in fantasy.

Plus I saw Keggers out on Saturday and he was drunker than Grossman is going to be watching this one from the sidelines. Man he is sexy. Grossman, not Keggers.

UPDATE: My 4th grade math skills tell me that I need 200 yards and 3 TDs to get the points I need to win. Not completely out of the question, but unlikely enough that I am crapping myself with anticipation right now.