Yes, I hear you Bartolo... no, I cannot summon a cheeseburger
1) Greg Olsen will finish the season as one of the top 3 TE's in the NFL
He was poised for a breakout season anyway and now he gets one of the best QB's in the league to feed him the rock. He's a stud in the red zone and he's athletic enough to stretch the defense. He's going to have a monster year to the tune of 1000+ yards and 8+ TD's.
2) Jarron Gilbert and Earl Bennett will surprise the naysayers
I still don't understand how Gilbert fell to the Bears in the third round. I expect somewhere in the first quarter of the season, we'll see him start to get some time on the field (either because he's too good to keep out of the lineup or someone gets hurt). He's frighteningly talented and learning from some of the smartest defensive players this decade in Briggs and Urlacher.
Bennett is apparently crushing it in training camp. Obviously, the only thing you can predict based on training camp is what color jerseys your team will be wearing but nonetheless, WR's sometimes take a little longer to bloom and he's got a lot of history with Cutler. He was great in college, he has good speed and great hands. He will be a real surprise (kind of like Bernard Berrian was after his first disappointing season) and is a perfect compliment for Hester's speed. I think 75+ receptions is reasonable.
3) Jannero Pargo will prove to be a good investment for the Bulls
Pargo came cheap and can pick up 10-12 of the points/game we lost from BoGo. With Rose, Hinrich and Salmons rotating at the guard, Pargo provides a nice spark off the bench and pulls some of the pressure off Rose/Hinrich to create their own shot. Between him and Deng, we shouldn't notice much of a drop-off in scoring sans Gordon.
4) Gordon Beckham will win AL ROY
Kid is hitting .316 with 6 HR's and 38 RBI in 53 games. Insane. And this is after starting the season with a 2-28 slump. I had been worried about his defense initially but it looks like he's got a good glove to go with the golden bat. He's been tremendous with RISP and has a ton of extra base hits. I don't know what the biggest surprise is: Beckham making the majors look easy, Podsednik's resurgence (a real comeback player of the year possibility) or getting Peavy 30 days after he vetoed the same trade.
5) (Saving the best for last) The Bears will win the NFC North.
Fuck the Packers, that's why. Oh, and without old man Favre, the Vikings haven't magically gotten better at throwing the ball.
So there you go, everything in writing. I'm never wrong. Go ahead, take out a second mortgage and place a 8-1 bet on the Bears and Beckham. You'll thank me later.