Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Two Men Mad About Money

Oh, you want a tip now, too!?

Well, that didn't last long. Despite the warm and fuzzy feelings of the 2009 Blackhawks, we have still found a way to get ourselves into the news long after the ice has melted.

...this is probably not the best way.

The pair allegedly punched the cab driver and grabbed money they had handed him after he told them he didn't have twenty cents in coins to give them their change, the report said.

Their fare was $13.80 and they handed the driver $15, according to a report.

The cab driver told police he was punched in the face and head, grabbed by the throat and had his glasses broken during the incident.

While we await a final verdict on Cap'n Kane, we can take a more comical look at J.P. Ricciardi, GM of the Toronto Blue Jays. The Sox put in a waiver claim on Alex Rios, the $11-kajillion outfielder who has underperformed (and still has $60-million left on his contract) in the hopes of maneuvering a larger deal. Instead, Ricciardi said "enjoy!" and let the Sox claim him without any compensation.

This can either go into "Mega Win" or "Oh Dear Lord Why." If Rios somehow resembles the player he used to be (speed, average, and great defense), he's going to be roaming our CF in 2012 in what looks like a discount compared to other players. If he doesn't rebound, we're looking at a $60-mil paperweight.

As a result, the Sox are now on the hook for ALL of Rios' contract, which goes another six years. So what does this move actually mean for us? It means a few things:

#1. Williams expects Rios to rebound. Coming to US Cellular generally helps hitters, so I would expect a little bounceback from those stats...getting up another .30 in the average seems unlikely though. Still - he has great speed, rarely gets hurt, and if he can get on the bases, he can be very VERY useful.

#2. We now have a Thome/Dye backup plan. Should either one of them be, er, "relocated" next season, we have a replacement at either position.

#3. Where the hell is he going to play? Heaven forbid that DeWayne Waste of Sperm Wise gets sent down or even (gasp) released to make room for Rios on the roster. After all, EVERY major league team needs three reserve outfielders. In all seriousness, Podsednik, Quentin and Dye have the three positions sewn up. If Rios plays in this current offense, it wouldn't be more than to spell Dye or Quentin (although who knows - he can play CF). This limits Wise to late inning defensive replacement (if he's still even on the team), and Kotsay to Konerko's replacement.



stalkingerinandrews said...

DeWayne Waste of Sperm Wise

We can make this roll off the tongue easier by just saying "DeWaste of Sperm Wise."

Gepetto said...

I thought I already did? Damn, guess not.

I know I did it last time - and yes, it DOES roll off the tongue.

It's almost as good as "DeWorstChoiceEver Wise