Wednesday, August 26, 2009

We Are Lazy Motherfuckers

David Ortiz? Fuuuuuck...

Look - we've been bad. It's true. Frankly, the wide world of Chicago sports has sort of been in a depressing lull since Cutler dominated last week. As much as I enjoy covering the Cubs losing (and to the Nationals, no less), it pains me even more to watch the Sox get swept by their red counterparts.

Hell, even Brian Anderson - who was 1-6 with the Red Sox - was sent down. It's just been a slow repeated punching yourself in the balls.

That said, here are a few things to look forward to in the coming weeks:

Footballfootballfootball: If you didn't just get a hard-on from that bolded text, you're illiterate. It's time for Forte, Cutler, Hester, Bennett, and Olsen to dominate the competition. We're going to really have a passing attack - holy shit.

Cubs go 10+ GB: Nothing will make me happier than knowing that the Cubs will be more than 10 games back in mere days. With Matt Holliday hitting .933 for the Cardinals, there's not much to do other than sit back and laugh. Looks like Mark DeRosa got on a championship NL team after all...

Peavy Time: Since I highly doubt that the Sox will be able to take the division with two and a half starters, Peavy will probably be brought up next week where he can be on a short pitch count and do nothing much of note (prediction: 5.2 IP, 2ER, 3K, 1BB), but it's still a good sign if he pitches without exploding into a fiery ball of flame and DL visits.

Colon Headline(s):
There's going to be at least one more. Probably not "Colon Released", though, because it would be too awesome.

September Callups: Time to see the farm. Both the Sox and Cubs are a little short of major super prospects, but it never hurts to see who can make an impact.

And if all else fails, at least we can rest easy knowing that Jerry Reinsdorf is no longer going to buy the Phoenix Coyotes. What a clusterfuck that would have been.


brad said...

wow you are a dumbass. if there is a lull, then you should have the time to know the white have not been swept by the red yet. one more game tonight. other than that, movie reviews are gay. kind of like being in love with luols' dong.

Gepetto said...

Keyword: Yet

It's against a guy we've never seen before which practically screams "6 inning shutout."

Maybe I'm jumping the gun, but I say (sadly) sweep

Gepetto said...

And amazingly, we don't lose. Who knew?

brad said...

and boom, detroit should struggle this weekend against the rays.