Two Men Mad About Money

Oh, you want a tip now, too!?

Well, that didn't last long. Despite the warm and fuzzy feelings of the 2009 Blackhawks, we have still found a way to get ourselves into the news long after the ice has melted.

...this is probably not the best way.

The pair allegedly punched the cab driver and grabbed money they had handed him after he told them he didn't have twenty cents in coins to give them their change, the report said.

Their fare was $13.80 and they handed the driver $15, according to a report.

The cab driver told police he was punched in the face and head, grabbed by the throat and had his glasses broken during the incident.

While we await a final verdict on Cap'n Kane, we can take a more comical look at J.P. Ricciardi, GM of the Toronto Blue Jays. The Sox put in a waiver claim on Alex Rios, the $11-kajillion outfielder who has underperformed (and still has $60-million left on his contract) in the hopes of maneuvering a larger deal. Instead, Ricciardi said "enjoy!" and let the Sox claim him without any compensation.

This can either go into "Mega Win" or "Oh Dear Lord Why." If Rios somehow resembles the player he used to be (speed, average, and great defense), he's going to be roaming our CF in 2012 in what looks like a discount compared to other players. If he doesn't rebound, we're looking at a $60-mil paperweight.

As a result, the Sox are now on the hook for ALL of Rios' contract, which goes another six years. So what does this move actually mean for us? It means a few things:

#1. Williams expects Rios to rebound. Coming to US Cellular generally helps hitters, so I would expect a little bounceback from those stats...getting up another .30 in the average seems unlikely though. Still - he has great speed, rarely gets hurt, and if he can get on the bases, he can be very VERY useful.

#2. We now have a Thome/Dye backup plan. Should either one of them be, er, "relocated" next season, we have a replacement at either position.

#3. Where the hell is he going to play? Heaven forbid that DeWayne Waste of Sperm Wise gets sent down or even (gasp) released to make room for Rios on the roster. After all, EVERY major league team needs three reserve outfielders. In all seriousness, Podsednik, Quentin and Dye have the three positions sewn up. If Rios plays in this current offense, it wouldn't be more than to spell Dye or Quentin (although who knows - he can play CF). This limits Wise to late inning defensive replacement (if he's still even on the team), and Kotsay to Konerko's replacement.

Yikes.

And no, we're not going to talk about it

Sigh...

HAWKS WIN!!!

If you didn't watch the Hawks game last night, you're a jerk. Plain and simple.

Patrick Kane hit a hat trick, Dustin Byfuglien deliberately punched a guy in the face, and the Hawks pulled out a gutsy effort to finish off the Canucks: 7-5.

First of all, who the hell scores 7 goals on Roberto Luongo? That's just unheard of. Some weird puck bounces definitely played out in our favor (watch Kane's second goal), but scoring 7 against Luongo - let alone 7 in a HOCKEY PLAYOFF GAME - is already insane. Way to take advantage of the Power Play.

Speaking of play, talk about high octane! I don't think I've ever seen a game with that much action, insanity, or generally efficient play. Sure, we had our fair share of guys splattered against the boards (and vice versa), but it was generally clean play with minimal stoppages...except for goals anyways.

Speaking of that Byfuglien punch, skip to the 1:15 mark to see what that looked like. Well, it was actually more of a "guy skates into my fist" sort of thing, but it was still pretty funny. Other notables include a routine shove that resulted in a Hawks player getting caught in the door hinge, and some plays that are not yet on YouTube showing guys getting up-ended.

Great game, bring on the Ducks/Red Wings.

Going Down in Flames

Just a few more goals to go

Round 2, baby!

Not a whole lot to report on the game - the Hawks took a quick lead in the 1st period after quick goals by Kane and Adam Burish (who?), and mostly played defensively for the rest of the game. Sure, we tacked on two more goals (hey look! Brian Campbell did something!), but you know you're not going balls out for shots on goal when you only take 16 shots in the entire game. Interestingly, the Hawks (finally) took advantage of the power play to get two goals - amazing how effective that is! LET'S TRY THAT MORE OFTEN, PLEASE!

To contrast, Calrgary played like we had an empty net and the puck was made of shit. 44 shots on goal, and while the majority of them weren't particularly good (augh! Get the shit puck away!), Khabibulin let only one through and generally held his position as the "Bulin Wall." Likewise, Byfuglien put in a great all-around effort to help - great puck movement, good control, a couple assists, and even a late goal (OK, it was an empty netter, but still). And he's still pretty bi-fugly.

Looks like the Ducks are coming up next - they have a filthy defense led by Pronger and Neidermeyer, but we should be able to shut down Getlaf and the rest of their front line...especially if Khabilibulin can keep his A-Game up.

Come on Savard - lead us home.

Craziness

From the Hawks game a few nights ago against the Stars.

...did that really just happen?!

Things We Can Learn From The Blackhawks

Mmmm...scantily-clad women doing manual labor...

So, I went to the Blackhawks game last night against the Wild (we lost), and I couldn't help but see all the missed opportunities in baseball when the Blackhawks get it so right. I mean, this is a game where you've got to take two extended breaks to treat the ice with a Zamboni, creating a huge gap in gameplay, and yet I still didn't feel as though I was missing something - rather, I was absorbed in the experience. To contrast, people bitch about how boring baseball is all the time! Here's a few things other hometown teams can learn from the Hawks.

#1. More scantily-clad women. With the exception of the actual Cubs FANS, the closest thing to the Blackhawks Ice Girls are the girls who throw crap into the crowd between innings at Sox games. Not only are the women at US Cellular only mildly attractive, but they are fully clothed, and only appear for brief intervals over the course of the game. To contrast, the Ice Girls came out at least six times over the course of the game, wearing nothing more than the Christmas section of Lover's Lane.

This is probably our biggest area for improvement. First of all, it's Summer for baseball - those girls could stand to wear less if the Ice Girls can dress like that ON ICE. Second, how about making some of the more crappy maintenance sections worth my while? When the grounds crew comes out to rake the dirt, clean the mound, or spray water on the infield, send scantily-clad women instead of older men in uniform. Your patrons will thank you.

#2. The Million Dollar Thing. The current "Win a Million Bucks If The Hawks Score With Exactly 10:00 Remaining in the 2nd Period" is absolutely genius. Not only do we get to see this poor shmuck on the Jumbotron biting his nails (who everyone is now rooting for to win money), but we're all rooting for the Hawks to score at the 10:00 mark like crazy (for the record, they scored a goal with the clock at 9:57 in the game I was at. Holy shit). In baseball, the closest thing we have is "Win a free coffee if they score in inning X."

That's no fun! Not only do those crazy bastards at Dunkin' Donuts never check the results of the game (as far as they know, the Sox have scored in the 4th inning every time I go to a game), but nobody really gets excited for it and high-fives eachother, going "FUCK YEAH! FREE COFFEE!" Pick some random schlub out of the crowd and have HIM pick a pitch number for the opposing pitcher (e.g., "#22"). If that pitch gets knocked out of the park, he wins a shitload of cash. Not only is there crazy anticipation on the pitch from both hitter and pitcher, but there's anticipation from the fans who want to jump him after the game. Other possibilities include "Win Money if Home Team Hits an Inside The Park Homerun in Inning X", "Win Money if Mark Buerhle Throws over 95 MPH" or even "Win Money if Soriano Doesn't Bunny Hop Like a Retard in LF."

It's a win-win, people.

#3. Zambonis fucking rule. Let's face it - Zambonis kick ass. Not only do the Hawks charge people to ride on them (not even to drive, mind you!), but it's a car you drive on ice. That's pretty badass. People are mystified as it drives laps at 2 MPH between periods. Baseball can do even better. The Sox have that huge Chevy sponsorship, right? Instead of just rolling the truck out between innings, USE IT.

Attach one of those dirt grates to the back and let someone cut loose on the infield. Not only would it be kickass to watch, but it also rakes the infield dirt. Alternatively, allow fans to race lawnmowers in the outfield. It keeps the grass short, keeps the fans entertained, and the possibility of a wipeout is just too good to pass up.

#4. Deliberately pick hot chicks for on-field events. If you have to do the stupid "hit the shot, win a prize" game (and let's be honest, you have to), at least pick contestants worth a damn. The Hawks have a brilliant formula - pick a kid, an average Joe, and a hot chick. Let all three go one after another and take MULTIPLE SHOTS. It gets everyone invested, from Moms (go little kid!) to guys (go hot chick!) to everyone else (go average Joe!).

The Sox have the dinky between innings "hit a homerun" for kids, and while that's all well and good, let some fans take BP. Combine it into an "Old Timer's Appreciation" thing (can you hit a Blackjack McDowell fastball now that he's in his 50s? What about a Mike Sirotka pitch after surgery #348?). It's fun for everyone - watch the guy strike out trying to impress his friends, watch the hot chick fall on her ass, and watch the kid get hit in the face with a fastball. It's genius.

#5. Stop Breaking Up Fights. Yes, even the NHL is trying to keep fighting to a minimum now, but on Bob Probert appreciation night (the only man to get close to having more penalty minutes than minutes on the ice) you want to see some blood. Hockey prides itself on the violence - even when your team is losing, there's still the chance of fucking up some other guy by bringing in your goon.

In baseball, you get a WARNING for TRYING to hit someone. Not for actually DOING IT, but for GETTING CLOSE. This is bullshit. Innocent until proven guilty, I say. No warnings unless someone DOES get hit, and even then, the guy who got hit is allowed to retaliate. Mano a mano, no help from other teammates. Just pitcher versus batter (batter is not allowed to bring the bat with). The loser of the fight get ejected. Make it count, people!

And that's just FIVE ways...

We Don't Suck!

"I too enjoy facial hair! Let us rejoice!"

And with that, the Blackhawks are officially a team worth caring about. Seven straight wins later, and the Hawks are looking like one of the best teams in the NHL. We've got Kane and Toews leading the charge, and the terrifying duo of the Khabibulin Wall and the Huet Hotel (OK - that's not nearly as intimidating).

Even so, I think it's safe enough to start giving the Hawks the attention they deserve. We haven't rattled off 7 in a row since 1981! We're on the road to taking the lead in the Central Divison in who knows how long. If this isn't the time to "Committ to the Indian", I don't know what is.

Thoughts?

Derrick Rose is good, the Bulls are OK.

Highlights from 11/8 Cavs game. Check out the move at the :58 mark... (you can get it in high quality on youtube).

The Bulls lose 113-108 to the Hawks last night and for the second game in a row, Derrick Rose looks really really good in a Bulls loss.

Atlanta is one of the last undefeated neams in the NBA and looks really motivated. Al Horford beat the crap out of Joakim all day long and Mike Bibby even looked pretty good. 

Sure the Bulls are hurt (Hinrich out 3 months, Hughes and Gooden out) but Tyrus needs to step it up and Noah needs to play better D (or gain 20 pounds).

BoGo and Deng are consistently solid (19 a piece) but the real star is Rose. He was 4 assists off a triple double and has already scored more than 25 points twice in the first 6 games. He looks very comfortable in the offense and is just the quickest motherfucker I've ever seen. He also finishes better than TPC's mom at a swingers party.

We should wait a few weeks before the trade packages start occupying most of the Bulls discussions but it looks like we have a top 15 team so far and as Rose gets even better we could be dangerous. The key is going to be Thomas - can he learn to be a consistant low-post scoring threat or is he going to be the LaVar Arrington of the NBA (super talented athletic freak that can't put it together)?

-KEG