America's Bulls

Hop on, plenty of room.

After a long hiatus from the Dong (and nervously obsessing over the Bulls the past month), I was inspired to get back to work thanks to an awesome text message and a great line from a friend at work.

First, the text message, from my friend Raanan who I haven't spoken to in over a year. He's from Cleveland.

From Raanan: 10:18am

"Please do not let that asshole make the Finals"

That was pretty awesome.

Then at work this morning, my buddy Scooter rolls in to recap the game and he says:

"This is no longer the Chicago Bulls, it's the America Bulls. Nobody in their right mind wants that egomaniac to win a title. This is the best and last chance to stop him, maybe for a long time."

Then I read Bill Simmons' article about Phil Jackson and reminisced about the Jordan days. How Jackson was able to control Jordan's intensity and obsession with winning and keep it from consuming his teammates (otherwise, he would have absolutely destroyed guys like Will Purdue, BJ Armstrong, Toni Kukoc etc, who could never live up to his expectations). Jordan was like a nuclear reaction- you could harness the energy to do incredible things, but it was dangerous.

Which leads us to tonights ECF game 1.

The Bulls have the best defense left in the playoffs, the league MVP and enough weapons to beat anyone. We've seen star-studded teams flail in the playoffs a million times. We all know it takes a full team and a cohesive strategy to win titles. We should have nothing to worry about in this series, except for the fact that LeBron James, possibly the greatest player since MJ, is on the other team. After plowing through the Celtics, he seems unstoppable (not to mention Wade/Bosh are probably the best 2/3 options in the NBA).

But...

LeBron isn't Jordan.

LeBron has never shown that level of intensity on or off the court and hasn't been able to flip the "kill mode" switch needed to win championships. Maybe it's because he's too friendly, or maybe it's because he cares more about having a good time than winning. I don't think LeBron can carry them when it's needed (maybe Wade can) but a champion needs a true leader. At this point, I'm not convinced LeBron can be that guy.

Bulls in 6.

-KEG

Around the horn

News team, assemble!!

1) Charles Barkley is out of his mind (and totally awesome).

If you haven't seen this clip calling his producer a pussy on live TV yet, you're missing an all-time great highlight.



Is it just me or is Chuck on an awesome-spree since serving time for posession? I love the total disbelief of Kenny and Reggie. "Um, Chuck, I don't think you can do that." 

2) Derrick Rose is (confirmed as) an idiot.

Is anyone really surprised by the news that he cheated on his SAT? I mean, seriously, come on. In an era of cheating at epic proportions, this is like faking sick to stay home from school when you're 9 years old. Nothing to see here, move along.

3) Twitter update: The dong is fully engorged with 1,400 followers. That's a lot of people loving the dong.  And for those people who we follow and don't follow us back, prepare to be dong slapped.

-KEG

Bulls Win!!!

2 of the best PG's in the league

What a fucking game!

Obvious headline, Rose drops 36 and 11, ties Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's record for playoff points by a rookie and the Bulls beat the Celtics in OT.

Tyrus Thomas hits some BIG shots (tying basket and winning basket) while playing great defense all game. Noah was outstanding (17 boards), and our D held Pierce and Allen to 27 total points.

Unfortunately, it is (how to put it gently) nearly fucking impossible that all (any?) of these things occur again in combination during this series.

Tyrus Thomas hitting a game winning 25 footer? I assure you, there were more people than just me yelling NO! NO! NO! at the screen when he took that shot. Ray Allen going 1-12? Once every 100 games (if that).  Paul Pierce missing the game winning FT? He's 83% from the charity stripe this season (Jordan's career FT percentage was 83.5%). And I don't care how awesome he is, there is no way Rose has another game like this during the series. Oh and let's remember, we still needed a missed FT and overtime to win the game. Let's be prepared to come down to earth in game 2.

Nevertheless - doesn't mean we can't enjoy a big time road win over the defending NBA champs! 

If we can protect the house at the UC, we could make good on Ty's quote to be "the most dangerous team in the league right now." I'm a career pessimist, but if we win two in Boston, I'm going to be pretty fucking stoked.

Go Bulls!!!!

-KEG

New-look Bulls protect this house

The Bulls looked great last night, beating up on one of the best teams in the league (the Magic are 41-15) en route to a 120-102 victory at the United Center.

More importantly, I just found this awesome youtube clip that plays EVERY Bulls basket from last night in just over 5 minutes:



Some notes:

1) Joe Noah and Tyrus Thomas are getting pretty good. Noah is better running through the offense and is pure hustle on both ends of the court. Thomas still needs to take advantage of his athleticism on offense, but his defense is markedly improved this season.

2) Derrick Rose can shoot. I've hear a lot of shit about his jump shot coming out of college and even in his first few months in the NBA. If there is one thing he' learning from from Ben Gordon, it's how to shoot the lights out. Since he's so quick, defenders are giving him a lot of room off screens particularly in the long-2 range (~20 footer) and if he can hit that consistently like he did last night, guarding him is going to be a fucking nightmare.

3) I still love Kirk Hinrich. He plays with heart and he's a hustler. A lot of guys in his situation would have packed up and asked for a trade/release/etc, especially after losing the starting job to a highly paid rookie. Instead, he's rejuvenated. I love it.

4) The new guys look good. With Thomas and Miller you know what you're going to get (which is NOT a bad thing). Salmons looks surprisingly well-rounded and now I understand why we dealt Thabo (who I was starting to develop a man crush on...). Miller/Noah at center is one of those weird cases where the whole is worth more than the parts - they make a really good combo: seasoned veteran with an old-school game and fiery hustler who's completely unpredictable. I like watching both of them and I've yet to see someone defend both of them well (that includes you Dwight Howard).

We've won 3 of our last 4 and 8 of our last 12. We're starting to heat up at just the right time and the timing of the trade couldn't have been better. Sure, we'll still 19 games out of first but there are 25 games left to play and we're projected to take the 8 seed in the East in most simulations. (whatever that's worth). Most of my simulations involve breasts and a contortionist, so.... hrmm.  Nevermind.

-KEG

Derrick Rose: ho hum, I'm pretty good at basketball...

Even at half speed, I will defeat you.

Derrick Rose cake-walked through the All-Star weekend skills challenge, making Devin Harris, Tony Parker and Mo Williams look slow as he jogged through the motions and took home the trophy in 33.3 seconds (besting Harris by a full 3+ seconds). He also finished it off with a nasty reverse dunk that would have earned high marks in the (relatively weak) dunk contest.

In other news, Derrick Rose is the most nonchalant, disinterested and aloof human being I've ever seen. Saying he's "shy" may just be a nice way of saying the dude really doesn't give a shit.

In other other news, A-Rod was busted for taking an illegal plutonium-enhanced tanning supplement:

What a fucking douche.

-KEG

OJ Mayo or Derrick Rose?

OJ Mayo dominating my SportsCenter viewing experience...

There are really only 5 legitimate candidates for 2009 Rookie of the Year honors: Rose, Mayo, Beasley, Westbrook and Oden (apologies to Love, Gorden and Lopez).

According to the live gambling odds (nothing in life is more accurate), the odds now stand at:

Derrick Rose1.65  @  

O.J. Mayo2.20  @  

Michael Beasley10.00  @  

Russell Westbrook10.00  @  

Greg Oden13.00  @  

Brook Lopez13.00  @  

Eric Gordon25.00  @  

Marc Gasol60.00  @  
Gepetto finding a real job 5000 @ 

As of today, it looks like Rose and Mayo are clearly leading the pack and deserve a closer head-to-head comparison.

Mayo:

O.J. Mayo Memphis Grizzlies Position:  G Height:  6-4 Weight:  210 College: USC Player file | Team stats 2008-09 Statistics PPG 19.4 RPG 4.3 APG 2.8 SPG 1.1 BPG 0.1 FG% 0.445 FT% 0.872 3P% 0.385 MPG 37.9

Rose:

Derrick Rose Chicago Bulls Position:  G Height:  6-3 Weight:  190 College: Memphis Player file | Team stats 2008-09 Statistics PPG 16.8 RPG 3.6 APG 6.4 SPG 0.8 BPG 0.2 FG% 0.468 FT% 0.785 3P% 0.263 MPG 36.9

Mayo edges Rose in almost every statistical category (although I'm confused how the little guy has more blocks). In terms of contribution to the team, it's tough to quantify who has been more important to their respective squad - Memphis is dead last and 20 games out in the Southwest conference while the Bulls are comparably shitty: 4th in the Central and 18 games back. 

Both play for talented teams with other scoring threats and can take as many shots as they want.  Both are effective scorers (although Mayo has a more well-rounded game at the moment) and both are good defenders (edge to Mayo here as well).

The key difference is upside potential.

I've heard the argument that Mayo can become a D-Wade type player - versitile, slashing guard with a good outside game. The stats suppoort this. Personally, I think of him more like a mini- Lamar Odom type of player, only smaller and without the great court vision / passing ability. Mayo is limited by his own offense: it's tough to find the open man when you're busy creating your own shots and he just doesn't have the vision to make the other players around him better. (At least not yet...)

Rose on the other hand makes everyone around him better. He can score, he can dish and one day, he'll be able to shoot too.  On pure talent, Rose is a freak - he's got the speed and quickness to make CP3 look like the TPC circa 5th grade:

Trade you my apple for another 35 Starcrunch's?? Please?

Once Rose rounds out his game a bit and gets better on the defensive side of the ball, there is literally no limit to how good he can become. The most common comparison is Chris Paul or Jason Kidd (and often D-Wade here too) but while all of these guys are better players now, none of them have Rose's pure ability to create shots and beat defender off the dribble. With the proper coaching and hard work, we will evenutally be comparing great players to him.

PPG always plays the biggest factor in ROY voting and I think Mayo may end the year averaging 20-25 (which is insane).  It would be hard to make the argument that Rose is a more valuable player to the Bulls right now than Mayo is to Memphis. So if held today...

Mayo would get my vote for 2009 ROY.

Nevertheless, I'd rather build a franchise around Rose and think he'll be the better player in the long run. If the Bulls make a move (GET AMARE YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKERS) we could see Rose's stats skyrocket and perhaps turn a corner in maturity. This discussion also needs to be revisted in a few months, when we've got more data.

Vote in the comments?

-KEG

Every Rose Has It's Thorn

Pop quiz - it's late, and you're hungry. Getting out of bed takes effort, and you bust your ass for the fans all week anyways, so none of that. Gotta stay in shape, though, so any bedtime snack needs to be healthy.

Do you:

A: Get drunk and go boating

B: Carve an apple and yourself in the process

C: Attempt to get up, walk two yards and collapse on the floor.

If you answered anything but B, you're obviously trying too hard to be Cedric Benson. The lone source of optimism for the Bulls, Derrick Rose, is 10 stitches richer after an apple-related incident.

Quote Rose:
"It was a silly incident," Rose said. "I was cutting up some food and I laid on a knife getting lazy in bed. I went to go get a bottle of water, came back, forgot the knife was there, then sat down and sliced my arm."

So Rose lays down in bed and snuggles up to a machete. Fucking brilliant.

Go Bulls?

Drink Plenty of Malk

So, we lose Hinrich, and now we (likely) lose Rose while he recovers from being a badass and playing hurt for FORTY-FIVE MINUTES. This is bad.

Get ready to see a lot of Thabo, because our listed depth chart is starting to just look funny. Take a look at this chart pulled after Hinrich's injury:

Backup PG: Thabo Sefolosha
Backup SG: Thabo Sefolosha
Backup SF: Thabo Sefolosha (Nocioni is still reeling from imaginary bullets)
Backup: PF: Thabo Sefolosha (Joakim Noah is an idiot)
Backup C: Aaron Gray (Irreplaceable)

And the sad part is, I only made up two of those. If anyone else important goes down, we may want to look into signing Jack Haley. I hear he makes everyone else around him play better...or is it that everyone else around him DID play better and simply made him look useful?

Look, I don't care about the logistics behind it as long as we win. Mavericks, coming to town.

Derrick Rose is good, the Bulls are OK.

Highlights from 11/8 Cavs game. Check out the move at the :58 mark... (you can get it in high quality on youtube).

The Bulls lose 113-108 to the Hawks last night and for the second game in a row, Derrick Rose looks really really good in a Bulls loss.

Atlanta is one of the last undefeated neams in the NBA and looks really motivated. Al Horford beat the crap out of Joakim all day long and Mike Bibby even looked pretty good. 

Sure the Bulls are hurt (Hinrich out 3 months, Hughes and Gooden out) but Tyrus needs to step it up and Noah needs to play better D (or gain 20 pounds).

BoGo and Deng are consistently solid (19 a piece) but the real star is Rose. He was 4 assists off a triple double and has already scored more than 25 points twice in the first 6 games. He looks very comfortable in the offense and is just the quickest motherfucker I've ever seen. He also finishes better than TPC's mom at a swingers party.

We should wait a few weeks before the trade packages start occupying most of the Bulls discussions but it looks like we have a top 15 team so far and as Rose gets even better we could be dangerous. The key is going to be Thomas - can he learn to be a consistant low-post scoring threat or is he going to be the LaVar Arrington of the NBA (super talented athletic freak that can't put it together)?

-KEG

Bulls looking good!

Derrick Rose is going to be nasty...

The Bulls are 3-4 this preseason, with a lot of big injuries (Hughes, Gordon, Thomas, Ruffin). Blah blah blah... everyone knows preseason scores are meaningless. The only important thing to keep track of is development of the young guys and for the Bulls, things are looking really good.

First of all, Derrick Rose looks fucking awesome. It's one thing for a rookie to make a few highlight-reel plays and score a few points but Rose is dropping a LOT of points (30 last game) and the whole team turns to him in the clutch - and he delivers. He's taken his college game to the next level, using ridiculous speed to blow by defenders and he's able to finish the most incredible shots... high glass, dunk, floaters... the guy is unstoppable.

Tyrus Thomas looked strong in the first few games before he rolled his ankle, Hinrich seems to be comfortable with his reduced role and BoGo is as streaky as ever. This team is going to have a lot of energy with Noah and Thomas and a crapload of talent on the court. If Thomas can learn a few offensive moves (instead of just logging 2-3 awesome dunks and a few ferocious blocks every game) we might be in business.

Oh, and I can't get enough of this photo:

He kinda looks like a cross between Kurt Rambis and an angry gorilla.

Ponder that.

-KEG

Let the Rose-Beasley debate begin...

Hulk smash!

The NBA Summer league (a bastion of false hope and meaningless stat inflation) started this week, highlighted by the Heat pounding the Bulls 94-70 behind Beasley's 28 points in 24 minutes.

I am a staunch supporter of DRose and I believe the Bulls made the right decision to go with a talented leader at PG over another immature PF (we have plenty of those, although this guy can definitely score in the low post). No knock on Beasley- he's going to be great- but given all the information headed into the draft, the Bulls made the right pick and have enough talent to trade for a good scoring PF (much easier than trying to trade for an outstanding PG).

It's way too early to start second guessing our pick. "Oh wow, Beasley scored a lot of points on Joakim Noah and Tyrus Thomas in a completely meaningless game!" Forgive me for not slitting my wrists just yet. If anyone needs reassurance about the stupidity of this argument, take a look at the top 3 scorers from last years summer league: Marcus Banks (42ppg), Louis Williams (25.2ppg) and Von Wafer (24.2ppg). Not only are those a lot of points for 3 guys I've never heard of, but none of these guys went on to average more than half those numbers during the 08 season.

Here, just watch this soothing video and stop freaking out:

-Keggs

First Pitch Awesomeness

Derrick Rose got his first taste of the Chicago sports media this weekend, throwing out the first pitch for the Sox / Cubs interleague game on Saturday.

First off, the dude threw a perfect strike, which is more that you can say for the majority of ceremonial first pitches. Hell, even TPC chucked a wounded duck for the Cubs a few years back and he threw 47 TD's for the division champ Roses back in 01.

The Champ himself:

Here are some other memorable first pitches in Chicago:

Hester the Molester (of opposing defenses)

The other El Prez throwing heat

Hottie Marissa Miller

MJ for the Sox

Romo- another lovable loser

Let us know if you have any other famous/hot celebrity throwers and we'll track down some photos.

Also, congrats to the Sox for sweeping the Cubs at the Cell, keeping the all-time deathmatch record tied at 33-33. More on that to come...

-Keggs