Sox Notes: 6/30/08

Coincidentally, this is also the number of times Wood is expected on the DL this year.

Believe it or not, I'm not writing this to rub in the sweep. Let's face it - the third game of a highly televised series, with a sweep on the line? Why would I want to write about the fact that Brian Anderson, Jim Thome, and Carlos Quentin all went deep off of the highly touted Cubs? Why would I mention that Buerhle held them to just one run, and that the bullpen locked them down? Why would I even toss in that Alexei Ramirez is fucking incredible, and that the Cubs need to go back to AAA to learn baserunning?

No, here at the Dong, we're better than that.

Instead, I'd like to talk about some of the"finer" behavioral points I witnessed at US Cellular last night. See, when you get a bunch of drunk people, and then make them wear different colors, you'll eventually get some sort of violence. I happened to get a good look at a serious beat-down that happened near the Walgreens sign at left-center. No clear winner, but security took their sweet time getting there...



...because they were busy breaking up this doozy near the right-field foul pole. Want to know why they took so long to bail this douchebag out? That's right: there was ANOTHER fight going on!

Brian Nolan of Woodridge was charged with theft related to Saturday's fight in the upper deck at U.S. Cellular Field, police said. Nolan allegedly picked up some money that fell out of a woman's purse and refused to give it back. That led to several fans punching Nolan.

I mean, really? Really? Come on. You and I both know that the elotes at the cell are delicious and overpriced ($4 a pop!), but you don't pretend that the money is yours. What kind of passive-ass criminal are you, anyways? Kick her ass and TAKE her money, you pussy. Nobody questions someone with initiative.

The moral of the story: Don't fuck with the guy in the Thome jersey.