Is it 2004 again?

I opened the newspaper this week (to look at the pictures, obviously - this whole "reading" thing is beyond me), and what do I see? The Cubs acquire Greg Maddux, and the whole world is urging Sosa to admit to steroid use in the wake of a Mark McGwire announcement.

This is a paper from 2010.

First of all, let's get our facts straight. Here's what matters:

#1. Sosa did roids. And corked bats. And vampirism. If there's a way to illegally gain a competitive edge and be a fucker at the same time, he's got it.

#2. McGwire did roids.
#3. The universe now assumes that any effective baseball hitter is doing steroids.
#4. Wil Cordero beats his wife.

That said, who really cares anymore? Baseball's image is at a weird state right now - you've got the rose-tinted glasses nostalgia thing going on, and you also have the "let's get on with our lives" phenomenon.

Look at it this way - comparatively speaking, did anyone - anyone at all - give a shit when McGwire confessed? No! We knew about the andro, we knew that Canseco gave him a flaxseed oil enema, and we knew that the whole era was BS. Coming out and admitting it way after the fact doesn't really change the public opinion of anyone or anything (oh, and LaRussa - you're so full of shit. In order for McGwire to get the job, you made him confess. Slick).

Thats said, who doesn't look back at those times with fond memories? Those last couple of years in the 90's changed BASEBALL. I'm not talking about the whole "Barry Bonds" part of things, but the McGwire/Sosa race was one of the most exciting things to happen to baseball in a long time, and we loved it. For those of us that were just getting interested in the game because of it, we can view it as a fun sideshow, like the "smallest person alive" at Coney Island: you feel terrible once you get up there to see this tiny woman sitting on a chair, but you still remember it and talk about it all the time.

Are we at a point where we say "Oh, McGwire was the best and he should go into the HoF"? I doubt it. I propose something entirely more radical:

The Hall of the Game

Think about it - how many people have evolved the game over the years and have introduced public interest to what is arguably one of the most boring sports to watch for a newcomer? Pete Rose got people to care. Sosa and McGwire got people to care. Bonds got people to care. Jim Abbot? Hell yes. These people, like it or not, had a huge impact on the way we play the game. Are these players our "Hall of Fame" of greatness? Of course not. But they should be remembered and memorialized none the less.

I nominate the following players for 1st-Ballot HoG induction:

Joe Jackson
Pete Rose
Mark McGwire
Jose Canseco
Barry Bonds
Sammy Sosa
John Rocker
George Steinbrenner
Mark Fydrich
Babe Ruth
Ty Cobb
Jackie Robinson
...etc

Say what you want, but THESE are people that shape the game. Nad Hanlon and Bid McPhee? Who the fuck are those guys? These players have long been out of the game, but looking at that list, I'll bet you can identify each of those names and remember how they affected the game for YOU. We need to embrace our past, and move forward WITH it instead of trying to bury it.

We Suck

I just don't know if I can take it anymore! It's been so long since I've seen a White Sox team this...this...BAD. Frankly, we're downright terrible. We have two starters, three hitters, and a lot of spare parts. Rather than suffer through watching them play (because if you've been trying, you know it's downright depressing), maybe some good can come of this after all.

For example, a trade deadline firesale. That would be AMAZING. Let's face it - this year was supposed to (and needed to be) a rebuilding year. As much as Kenny wants to say "we're always in 'win now' mode," you can't just magically have players continue to be good as they age...unless you shell out the big bucks. Since we're not going to do that, we have to start cleaning house - something I've been begging for since early last year.

Just off the top of my head, Thome, Dye, and Contreras all strike me as people who should not be on this team next season. If we can get someone to eat some of their salaries while we're at it, that would be fantastic. Dye should bring in a legit return (think Homer Bailey or a "just waiting to make the AAA->MLB jump type player), and Thome should be good for a couple AA prospects.

Likewise, if we do clean house at the deadline, we can start giving the younger players a chance to develop. Currently, we're already moving in the right direction showcasing Fields, Getz, Anderson (when not in the doghouse), and Ramirez. The next step is to get Fields nice and comfy in a 1B/DH role because he sure as hell can't handle a glove, and start bringing in some extra youth for the infield. If Viciedo is ready next season, that would be a great start. Jordan Danks, Tyler Flowers, Brandon Allen, and John Shelby are also names that should be receiving an extended look.

As for the pitching, we have guys that have been waiting long enough - Richard just claimed the 5th starter job (and he will succeed - just watch), Adam Russell is close, and Poreda is just a few brain cells away from being MLB ready. Hell, even Jon Link and Kelvin Jimenez could be worth a look.

I'm not sayting we're "rife with talent." I AM saying that if we're going to waste a season, at least waste part of it on the future instead of riding the broken down horses to the end of the race. Turn the underachievers into glue and go make yourself a nice popsicle stick house or something.

Yeah, I'm not sure where that analogy was going...

Pathetic

Yesterday was all kinds of failure

Blackhawks Lose: Luongo is a fucking monster. He sets up IN the net, and then goes backwards. Long story short, you're just not going to get the puck in normally. To contrast, Khabibulin looked good, but not good enough. Blackhawks lose 3-1, Keggers loses his 5:1 on Toews, and the Blackhawks go into Game 4 losing 2-1 in the series. Shit.

Cubs Lose: Marshall gives it the old "grade school try" in a game where picking up the pace after the first inning means nothing. If the Giants manage to score three runs against you with Lincecum on the mound, the game should probably be over. Samardzija was just the nail in the coffin, people (and how dumb are you guys going to feel about dumping Vizcaino for this guy when you realize Neal Cotts is the worst pitcher ever?). In other news, Fukudome has one hit in his last 15 at bats (his last good game was April 28th with 3 walks and a base hit) - notice that this slump coincides with Keggers picking him up in our fantasy league. Traitor.

Sox Lose Miserably: First of all, this game was 4-1 at the end of the third inning, and it looked like the Sox offense could do no wrong. Then Gavin Floyd, apparently trying to make up for the fact that Javier Vasquez is no longer on the team, decided to cough up the lead with 6 ER. If I'm Ozzie, when I see Floyd get into trouble with a 7-4 lead, I call the bullpen. Instead, Oz let Floyd finish the inning (getting two more earned runs). Matt Thornton (who hasn't looked quite right this season if you ask me) then gave up the tying run in the 7th, and then an amazing thing happened - NO ONE COULD FUCKING HIT.

I would complain about Ozzie not taking out the less effective hitters for pinch hitters, but the depth is so thin right now you're looking at putting in Danks as a pinch hitter. For the remaining innings (through extras), Sox relievers were especially erratic (all walked at least 1 batter, the majority walked two). Worst of all, you know that Ozzie wants to go to bed when he puts in Lance "I throw meatballs" Broadway to handle the 11th. I would rather have ANY member of the bullpen go out there. Yes, I know Richard just threw, but what about that fat guy? Bobby...something? When was the last time we've heard from him?

All in all, a VERY frustrating day.

Dotel Loves The Hugs

"Michelle, I meant to tell you this earlier, but...you're a total bitch."

Octavio Dotel - foreign, loves cigars, cockfighting and...our president?

Sure looks that way, as Dotel asked president Obama for a hug while they were in Baltimore, and got his wish:

"I saw the opportunity to ask for a hug," Dotel said after the team returned to its Baltimore hotel. "He said, 'Of course.' that was really nice of him. He knows a lot about us. He noticed that we've been playing well lately. He's a big fan. I can tell he really enjoyed (the visit)."

Look, I don't know about you, but even as a White Sox fan, I would be thinking serious security breach if someone lets Octavio Dotel come at you with his arms wide open. He may be the Dominican version of the Dos Equis guy, but that doesn't make him any less insane.

"I don't always smoke cigars, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis."

Still - pretty badass that the leader of this country is a Sox fan. Yes, I know, we should be over it by now, but it's still so fucking cool.

In other news...

Sox Win. The universe listened to me - Anderson was back at the bottom of the lineup, Thome was given the day off again and Fields was moved to DH while Betemit played third. The result? A White Sox winner, ladies and gents. A far more mysterious move was that after Anderson went 0-2 with a walk, Ozzie put in Jerry Owens...who did nothing. How much do you have to hate Brian Anderson to put in Jerry Owens? It's like sending your mentally retarded kid to take the LSATs - you know it's not going to work, but you think if you just try and force it a bit maybe you'll get lucky.

Other points of interest - yes, Lillebridge is fast, but he cannot hit a fucking baseball. Pinch runner. Send Owens to go work at a Pac Sun or whatever failed baseballers do and call up Nix. Nix can play the infield and he CAN HIT. Owens can do neither of these things. Lillebridge can then become the "supersub" (he can play CF, sure, what the hell) and pinch runner. Gavin Floyd pitched like shit, and got extremely lucky that his 10 hits only amounted to three runs. The bullpen promptly went into lockdown mode, and the Sox took 6-3 winner.

Cubs succumb to reality. 10-0? Really? That's pretty fucking pathetic if you ask me. Ryan Dumpster coughed up 5 ER to the DIAMONDBACKS - you know, the team where the 3-10 hitters aren't over a .280 avg? You just put those guys on the map.

I especially like the "relief" pitching. If you can call it that.

"Oh no, Carlos Marmol will save us because we hated that Kevin Gregg guy! He'll shut down the bad Diamondbacks!"

Oh yeah, he'll shut em down - by making them tired from batting around the order. Four walks, 4 ER and only one out? Great showing, Carlos.

"Oh, Kevin Gregg is the closer now! He's the best! We like him more! Put in Gregg!"

Really? Two outs for Gregg, but he coughs up another run. That gives all the "pivotal relief" players (Marmol, Gregg, Patton Samardz...whatever) astoundingly bad ERAs above 6.

This is the year, for sure.

And NOW we can start

I suppose you could say we have a bias here towards the White Sox. Well, I don't care what you think, because we're SO equal coverage. The fact that there was no baseball post until the Sox home opener? Unrelated. The fact that I'm acknowledging the Cubs only because they lost today? OK, maybe.

Sox - 1-0 - 1.000 win percentage - best team in the AL - etc etc.

A very clutch homer by Thome seals this one up. Great effort from the bullpen, Chris Getz, and Josh Fields (who had a bunt single AND a great defensive stop). On the flip side, DeWayne Wise has shown no reason why he should be in the leadoff spot, and Buerhle didn't have much in the way of control (3 BB and 2 HBP in 5 IP). Still, it's better than the opening day line of the last two years where the starter went 1.2 IP with 6 ER...etc etc.

Oh, and hitting that homer off of ex-Cubs lunatic Kyle Farnsworth? I'll take it.


Cubs - 1-1 - Not as good.

Cubs lose a heartbreaker in extras to the lowly Astros. Hilariously, today seems to be a showcase of Cubs chokers. First Farnsworth coughs it up in the Sox game, and then LATROY HAWKINS gives up the tying run! Oh, and then there's the CURRENT Cubs chokers like Cotts (who has been consistently awful for the last two years...why does he keep making the roster?) and new acquisition Kevin Gregg.

Frankly, I'm confused by the Box Score that Yahoo! is currently showing. According to the box, Cotts pitched exactly one inning (the 9th) and gave up a run. Then, in the 10th, Gregg gave up a walk and a hit (no runs) and the game ended. This makes no sense, especially since Cotts got pegged with the loss. I have to assume that there were inherited runners for Gregg to botch.

How long until fans are clamoring for Marmol to close?

BASEBALL!!!

I can see it now...

So what if the Sox home opener has to get moved a day? BASEBALL IS OFFICIALLY HERE. I am so stoked to see what our local chokejobs can do. Here are a few things to keep your eye on this season:

SOX:

How long until Clayton Richard is starting? Contreras and Colon have the last two spots sewn up...for now. How long will it take for one of them to get hurt or lose the job to Richard? Only time will tell...

How long will Wise bat leadoff? I say 3 weeks, max. If Getz hits at the major league level, they'll try and move him up. Lord knows Wise can't maintain a decent OBP (career pinch runner? Yes, please).

Will Alexei repeat? A lot of signs point to "no" - especially the "I swing at everything and walking is for sissies" mentality that worked for him last season. I'm still hoping he can somehow hit .300 with single-digit walks.

Bullpen?! We have a lot of names - from Linebrink to Dotel to Carrasco to MacDougal - but nothing that screams "dependable." Our best bets are Thornton (good for one inning max) and Jenks, so here's hoping the 7th inning guys get it together.

CUBS:

More rotation question marks. Between Zambrano, Dempster, Lilly and Harden, you've got the potential for 80 wins...or 30 wins as the result of injuries and inconsistency. Zambrano is about 1,000 pitches overdue for a surgery, and Harden lives his life on the DL (plus he came from Oakland). On the flip side, Lilly is about two seasons overdue for his usual collapse. Here's hoping.

Can Fukudome rebound? Some experiment he turned out to be, huh? Reed Johnson hit better, Gathright fields better, and Bradley has taken over RF. If he's going to rebound, he's going to have to do it in spurts, because he's not going to get the chance to be an everyday OF. Even so, I think he's got serious potential to put up solid numbers (.280 AVG, 18 HR) given the chance. He could be (and should be) the leadoff hitter the Cubs have been looking for.

Depth? With DeRosa gone, an injury to Ramirez could be fatal. Likewise, Bradley is injury prone and the Cubs should take care in using him in a non-DH league (not every day play). Oh, and an injury to Soto takes a big bat out of the lineup as well. Given that information, depth could very well be their undoing.

Who closes? Marmol lost the job...sorta. You had better believe that there's going to be a controversy if Gregg shows the slightest signs of trouble. Throw in the fact that Marmol has been prepping for this role FOREVER, and things could get interesting in a month.

Baseball - It's Coming!

Oh, come on. Did you really think I would waste such a chance to make such an awesome gif?

JUMPIN' JESUS ON A POGO STICK!

Actually, nothing exciting happened. Is it baseball yet?

Got Melk?

Let's say that there's a talented Center Fielder who just lost his job to a younger up-and-coming. He's young (24), has already had success in the bigs (two very solid seasons in 06 and 07), and has shown that he has the capability to succeed in various roles on a team. Oh, and he's really looking for a chance to start - did I mention that?

Needless to say, Melky Cabrera is a lot of things that this club could use right now, and is, essentially, Brian Anderson with success at the Major League level. This doesn't mean I'm jumping off the Anderson-For-CF bandwagon (how could I?), but it does mean that I don't want to see this DeWayne Wise silliness go on any longer than it has to.

If Anderson can't get it done this year, we need to have a backup option in tow. Wise is the Timo Perez of the bunch - a guy to fill in and replace the real starter when he needs a rest. If Wise becomes the every day CF, we have a serious problem. Cabrera, on the other hand, could spell Anderson (if Anderson can figure out a way to carry over his success everywhere other than the regular season), or replace Anderson if the going gets rough.

Unlike Wise, who has put on a good face but ultimately just gotten hot a few times to stay on the roster, Cabrera is young enough to learn and put it together. He shouldn't be too hard to come by via trade (Wassermann?), and would likely provide the Sox with a reliable option in the future - especially if something happens to Quentin or Dye (an outfield with Anderson AND Wise is horrifying to say the least).

Bwahahaha

I believe that jacket belongs to Mr. Gilmore!

Cubs:

Well, Miltron Bradley is proving his usefulness and durability in the DH-free NL by getting hurt in his first at-bat. If you have to get lifted for a pinch runner on a walk, you know it's going to be a long season. Sure, it's a "tweaked quad" now, but Kerry Wood has a "stiff back" for the Tigers - do you really think it's just a couple days of rest?

As for the rest of the Cubs, Joey "I Jump Cars" Gathright had a huge 3/3 afternoon, Houffpair got another hit, and Aaron Miles got his first RBI of the spring. Marshall, Gaudin and Marmol each gave up a run as they shook off the rust, but none of them looked particularly dominating.

Sox:

First win! Whoo! The whole pitching staff pitched well -Floyd, Egbert, Carrasco, and Broadway gabe up one run total over 8 innings. DJ Carrasco was especially (and unusually) impressive. Brent Lillebridge had a nice outing both offensively and defensively, and a catcher named "Miller" went 3/3 - although I really shouldn't be discounting any catcher in ST right now seeing as we have no set backup behind AJ (signs point to Armstrong).

Oh, and most importantly, Brian Anderson had a hit and scored a run. I'm seriously not going to give up on him until he stops giving good media quotes.

Spring Training Recap

Sox:
The Sox still have no bonafide leadoff hitter. My crush from last season, Brian Anderson, has yet to live up to the attention I waste on him, and he doesn't have the hitting down to lead of. Still, I need to obsess over SOMEone at the beginning of the season as a legit prospect...Jerry Owens?

Really?

Well, Owens went 1/3 with a nice single and steal in the first. If he can stay healthy AND get on base, he might be a nice surprise this season...just like Joe Borchard was supposed to be a nice surprise every season. Ugh.

Aside from that, Fields, Pierzynski, Alexei Ramirez and Jayson Nix seem to be making a point so far with solid hitting and speed. The majority of our pitching also had a nice game, especially Ehren Wasserman with a nice 3K inning. On the flip side, Octavio Dotel got lit up (3 ER in 1 IP) to open the floodgates.

Cubs
When the going gets tough, the Cubs get the lumber. A tough outing for Jeff Smarmarmadzimajarm (2ER, 2IP, lots of extra bases) turned into an offensive blitz for the Cubs. Hoffpaiur drove in four and had a massive bomb to get the Cubs back in it, and they never relented. Theriot, Soriano and Soto put in strong showings as well. No one that's going to make the team really pitched today, so not much to report there.

Is it time for baseball yet???

Oh.....So THAT'S what he said...

It is right around this time of year that I really start getting pumped for baseball. Sure the season usually ends with severe disappointment, then followed by depression and longing for the season past. But right now, the proverbial world is our proverbial oyster. For us Cubs fans, this is what we dream about: the chance to start each season anew. What better way to celebrate the dawning of a new season, than with unbridled, blood curdling furious rage and anger...in a foreign language.

Strike Three

Hey kid: Fuck You

I love baseball. I love the way we create heroes (Frank Thomas/Sammy Sosa, anyone?), the way we create rivalries that last (Cubs/Cards, Cubs/Sox, Sox/Twins...etc), and the way that the game is played.

...which is why baseball needs to have another strike.

The reason that we don't have a long lasting player we love like Thomas (the closest we get is Konerko, and he's likely on the way out) is because of the ridiculous inflation in Free Agency. Every year the contracts go higher and higher, and owners eventually get to a point where they just can't compete with the Yankees and Red Sox financially (especially with the Rangers doubling whatever the going rate is for any given FA).

Carlos Silva just signed a $48-million dollar 4-year-deal with the Mariners. Carlos Freakin' Silva! Are you kidding me!?

"This 'hurt' face got me $12 million a year"

Silva's only year with an ERA under 4.00 was the year he got hurt and missed half the season after a good start. In '06, he had a Todd Ritchie-esque 5.94 ERA and laughable WHIP of 1.5. The contract has nothing to do with him being any better than a cheaper player -- it's simply the going rate nowadays. Players actually look forward to being unemployed, because no matter how bad they are, they'll always get a raise.

As long as this trend continues without a strike, we're going to see a few things happen:

#1. Bend over, season ticket holders. Not only have seat-prices been climbing rapidly in the past few years (see: Cubs), but in order to compensate for those crazy player prices, we're looking at $9 hotdogs and $15 beers. $25 for bleacher seats on a value day? Not too far off.

#2. Contraction. Much like how the Expos had to go the wayside, the Devil Rays, Marlins, and Royals will likely be gone. This league setup is not entirely impossible:

AL: Yankees, Red Sox, Angels, White Sox, Rangers

NL: Cubs, Mets, Dodgers, Cardinals, Mariners (they'd be moved to the NL to even things out)

Aside from being an ESPN analysts' wet dream, this isolates the top-paying teams from the rest of the pack, and forces cheap contenders like Oakland and Minnesota out on their asses.

#3. Who's on first? With the value of an all-star player ever on the rise (cough, AROD, cough), how long do you get to keep that productive player? Most players nowadays look for a one-year deal to drive up their asking price (I'm looking at you, Joe Crede), and then sign a 2-3 year deal that allows them to get a bidding war in any even more lucrative bidding market. Some teams are only competitive now because of shrewd trading ability and impressive farm systems -- these teams and their methodologies would likely be kept out of contention in the future.

So to you, baseball, I say this:

Wicked pissah

Like many Sox fans, I'm still really pissed about the 1994 strike -- we had a good chance to win it all, and the season got cut short because of the strike. Wah. Get over it. We need to institute a salary cap once and for all -- don't kick the Royals out on their asses because they can't afford the salaries. Don't force the Orioles to rebuild every two years. In that same vein, don't allow the Cubs to spend $300 million in a single offseason, or allow the Yankees to buy the Devil Rays as a farm team.

History shows that MLB has a strike every 10 years, and we're due for another one.

Good News Continues for Cubs

When it rains it pours, and this week is the dead of winter for Cubs fans. The good news rolling in off the wires about new outfielder Fuck You Fuck Me Dome (couldn't resist) was the 2nd notable item of the week. What was the first, you ask? Well it is that the Brewers didn't watch any American League baseball last season, and signed up Eric Gag(ne) to a one year deal as a new bullpen'er. The article goes on to talk about how Scott Boras originally wanted a multi-year deal (biiiiiiiig shocker there), but that Gagne is happy with what he has. He should be after a season that prompted some young computer-literate friend to mock up the following image:



These kids today.


In any event, I think that between facing Gagne and new Brew Crew member Solomon Torres 25 times a year, as well as Dusty Baker an ADDITIONAL 25 times a year, the Cubs may have the division locked up by July. Just imagine what would happen if Dusty was actually managing a team with that kind of bullpen. Wow. I just became aroused thinking about that. Sports can do that to me sometimes.