Tuesday, March 31, 2009


And thou shalt get me a nice piece of ass

I cannot believe the spread of good news coming from the Sox in less than 24 hours. Just read this!

#1. Jeff Marquez sent to AAA Charlotte. YES! Even though Marquez had "won" a spot on the roster, Oz realized that he FUCKING SUCKS, and he's like a douchier version of Nick Massett. We get it - Kenny likes to take a chance on pitchers with "sink" in their pitches. Instead, we wind up with people who get decimated by the long ball and mysteriously get long relief jobs on our squad. Nice job realizing this was a bad fit before it got messy.

#2. Mike MacDougal on the roster. Brilliant! Well, OK, history tells us that MacDougal is a supreme choke artist. Then again, if he's preventing Marquez from being on this roster, I'm A-OK with it. Also, MacDougal wasn't ALWAYS the worst pitcher ever. On KC he was actually pretty damned good. If he can keep up his efforts from last season (and even this spring), MacDougal will be a great addition to our 'pen.

#3. Jerry Owens has been DFA'd. Not really something that was a mystery to anyone, but Wise locks up the leadoff spot and CF role while Anderson handles reserves duty...until Oz realizes that Wise has only speed and can't hit leadoff for shit. Expect a hot-hitting Getz to take that spot (or maybe even, GASP, BRIAN ANDERSON).

#4. Keggers entirely missed our fantasy baseball draft. Talk shit all you want, Keggers, but your autodraft team is in a whole lot of trouble. Frankly, if I'm able to pick Zambrano as my FIFTH STARTER (behind names like Santana, Billingsley, Felix Hernandez and Roy Oswalt), your number one really needs to impress more than Javier Vasquez. Seriously - you're fucked. I'll kill you for real.

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