N.O. to T.O.

Shirtless man for Keggers

Terrell Owens is a free agent. Whoop-de-do. All I've been hearing today is "I hope the Bears get him" and "How good would the Bears be with TO?"

The Bears AREN'T going to get TO, and here's a few good reasons why:

#1. TO's hands are turning to brick. Sure, he's still got great skills, but he would need to be that "first down guy" for the Bears. He drops more passes every season, and he's not getting any better. Seeing as the Bears rarely get the chance to complete a 3rd down because of our highly-predictable offense, having a guy around who may drop the occasionally good Orton pass could be catastrophic.

#2. Orton can't get him the ball. Aside from the fact that TO demands at least 10 pass attempts in his direction per game, Orton just can't get him the ball. The Bears offense is built around the run, and when we DO pass, they're short <20 yard passes. We don't do the deep ball because Orton can't throw it accurately. These things would not make TO a happy camper.

#3. Devin Hester is the deep ball. TO can do all the front lawn sit-ups he wants, but Devin Hester is still the faster player - especially as TO gets older. Seeing as the deep ball would be going towards Hester, that leaves TO with the possession role - not something I'm confident in.

#4. He's still a dick. Let's face it - you don't cut TO because he can't play. You cut him because he's a dick. He is the Manny Ramirez of football. He wants a trade every season, rips on his teammates, and generally causes a media stir wherever he goes. Seeing as the Bears like to stay low-key, I can't see this as a good fit.

#5. Moneymoneymoneymoneymoney. TO wants money, and a fat guaranteed contract to try and opt out of. We don't have that kind of money, nor would we spend it on TO if we did. Let's face it - the Bears have never given out big contracts, and if we did, we probably wouldn't have let Berrian go to the Vikings.