Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Mini News - Hot off the press!


#1. Bartolo's Colon and Jose Contreras (combined age of 236) seem to be functioning at normal capacity - this is a good thing. Are we going to see both of them pitch 200+ innings? I don't think so, but a COMBINED 200+ innings isn't an impossibility...

#2. Likewise, Cabrera seems to be going to Oakland. 2nd round pick and sandwich pick, here we come!

#3. Housh on the Seahawks? Seriously? Man, the Eagles are going to be pissed...

#4. Micah Hoffpauir is a goddamned machine. If Spring Training meant anything in the regular season, this guy would be leading every ballot. Instead, he's totally going to be on utility duty this season. Sorry, buddy.

#5. Jay Cutler is not coming to the Bears. Where the hell did that possibility even come from? This story is so ridiculous that I'm not even going to explain WHY it's not going to happen - just trust me on this one. Now, Jake Plummer...

#6. Deng has no stress fracture. Please, continue sucking and playing at half strength. I almost WANT you to miss the time so that Salmons will get more minutes.

#7. Johnny Red Kerr and Stormin Normin - still dead.

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