Friday, October 10, 2008

Know Thy Enemy

"And now Trevor goes night-night...forever."

Some people think that the Falcons are a good team. A kind team, even. They try to repair their image after the whole Michael Vick fiasco, but don't be fooled! Any team that faces Chicago must have a dirty side, and we're here to expose it!

Pictured above is
Atlanta Falcons fullback Ovie Mughell. He had visited Trevor Hurst in MCGHealth's children's hospital. At time of this photo, Trevor was 9. In Ovie's left hand is a paper and pen - surely an autograph for a fan in need. In an awkward photo taken by a fan just moments before Trevor's untimely death, it seemed that Ovie was simply going out of his way to visit a fan in need.

Awww. How nice.

Except something was wrong. Ovie's smile was that of pure evil. Little did they know - the paper in Ovie's last hand had someone's John Hancock on it, but it was actually Trevor's. Little Trevor Hurst had been forced in duress to sign over all of his worldly belongings to the Atlanta Falcons - Ovie threatened to pull the plug to Trevor's life support.

Ovie took everything: Trevor's favorite teddy bear, his insulin, inhaler, and various medications would now be headed to Atlanta, where they would be broken down into their base chemical agents and then resold on the streets of Detroit to keep the Lions in the gutter. Ovie waited until everything was signed, and then realizing Trevor had seen too much, promptly pulled the plug on Trevor's life support. Trevor died slowly as Ovie walked out of the room.

As a result, Ovie was named the 2007 Atlanta Falcons Man of the Year.

Let's take these fuckers down a notch, shall we?



stalkingerinandrews said...

I also heard Michael Turner is an arsonist.

Fisting Andrew Golota said...

Uh...bit of a stretch there, don't you think?

stalkingerinandrews said...

Come on, you've heard the same thing, too. Everyone knows about Michael "The Burner" Turner.

Gepetto said...

And don't even get me started on Vick. That was a gimme.

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