The Cubs To-Do List

In our efforts to remain a source of even and "fair" coverage (fuck you Cubs fuck you Cubs fuck you Cubs fuck you Cubs fuck you Cubs fuck you Cubs fuck you Cubs fuck you Cubs fuck you Cubs fuck you Cubs), we have to cover the Cubs as much as any other team.

Since baseball season is over, and the Cubbie blue faithful need something to do in October (as usual), here are a few thoughts for next season:

#1. If it ain't broke (yet), throw more money at it. Dempster, Wood, and the gang are going to need new contracts. Until the Cubs are actually sold, it's safe to assume that the new owner won't have shit to say about footing the bill. Throw out some absurdly long and lucrative contracts and hope for the best, right? Wood never gets hurt...

#2. Brian Roberts. Do it or don't do it, but stop obsessing about it. The Orioles understand that their team is awful, and that Roberts is the last player of value they have to deal. For the Cubs, it would likely cost them Samardzija, Hill, and a boatload of other prospects. Is it worth doing? Probably. Cedeno, DeRosa and Theriot can only do so much without a leadoff man, although if the Cubs get Roberts, you can bet one of these guys goes bye bye.

#3. Go spend more money. In line with #1, if you're going to spend, spend BIG. Go after CC Sabathia and K-Rod. Both of these guys would dominate in the NL (see: Rich Harden), and Sabathia has already proven it - he was on pace for 15 complete games last season had he played a full season with the Brewers. Win or lose, someone else is footing the bill, right?

#4. Get over Fukudome. Say what you will, Fukudome has talent. Yes, he's now a public pariah, but the Cubs are on the hook for his rather massive contract (and yes, someone else will eventually pay for it). You can't send him to the minors, and you can't bench him. You can either trade him (does he have a no trade clause?), or let him patrol RF. And really, who else would you put there? Edmonds is likely gone, and Reed Johnson has to fill his spot in CF. Oh, and for those of you that think Fukudome plays CF while DeRosa plays RF? Dream on.

#5. Stop losing. Well, you gotta start SOMEwhere, right?