Freaks

Marshawn Lynch's Sister

Every now and then, I go through our site tracking information. Let me tell you right now, there are some sick fuckers out there who read this site. Some of the things people type in to Google and use to peruse our website are kinda weird. Here's 10 of my favorites from this past week:

#1. "dong dangerous"

I don't even know what the hell that means. It would be a cool detective name or something, I suppose, but you're probably in the wrong place.

#2. "what the hell happened to the badgers"

I clearly have no fucking clue. Stop asking.

#3. "dong the bounty hunter"

Dear lord, did someone actually search for this? Either someone really wanted to take part in our DVD giveaway, or there's a knockoff gay porno floating around somewhere. I'll ask Keggers later.

#4. "visual masturbation"

Yes, our material is JUST. THAT. GOOD.

#5. "fuck onion"

Somehow, that just seems messy...and probably a serious irritant to your man-parts.

#6. "dangerous creampie"

What is it with you people and the dangerous sex?! Am I missing something here, or does the danger get you off?

#7. "neckbeard contest"

Really a great idea...but we don't have one. Maybe when we get readership up, we'll give em what they want...right? And who actively LOOKS for a neckbeard contest, anyways? "Man, I haven't shaved my neck since '03...I'll bet I can win ANY neckbeard contest!"

#8. "cade mcnown sex"

Does anyone really actively look for that? He's going to missfire, and she'll put on her clothes and leave.

#9. "ohio basic peace officer academy curtis enis"

Oh, did you mean the Curtis Enis who went to the Ohio basic peace officer academy this year or the one who went to the Ohio basic peace officer academy last year? Please be more specific.

#10. "ditka on orton"

If not for the other 9, I would have assumed you meant commentary. Instead, you guys are fucking sick for wanting to see that (although, good call, Ditka WOULD be on top).